


Today I Met the Girl I'm Going to Marry

by betterleftblank



Category: South of Nowhere
Genre: F/F, Funny, POV First Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-30 14:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 88,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17830001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betterleftblank/pseuds/betterleftblank
Summary: Girl meets girlGirl falls hardLiterally





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic over a decade ago and met my wife writing it, so it's pretty special to me. The fic is done and I'll be posting the whole thing over the next day or so.

Chapter 1

When I woke this morning I had absolutely no idea that today was going to be a day that would affect the rest of my life. I know it sounds like I'm overstating a little but trust me I'm not. Everything changed for me the second I saw her and I'm positive that today I met the girl I'm going to marry.

I'm jumping ahead a bit so let me start at the beginning.

The day started out like most of my days, I woke up, alone and in a very bad mood. I'm not grumpy by nature, in fact, I think I have what some might call a sunny disposition. However, that sunny disposition doesn't kick in until my third cup of coffee. I rolled out of bed, did I mention that the only occupant of said bed was me? Anyway, moving along, I showered, got dressed in my favorite pinstripe power suit and headed off to work after gulping down two home brewed mugs of java. I stopped to pick up Starbucks as I do every morning and by the time I pulled into my reserved parking space I was ready to hit the ground running.

My good mood lasted about half an hour until Jessie waltzed into my office with her trademark smirk. Jessie, full name Jessica, and I did not get along when we first met. I viewed her as a rival and she viewed me as a spoiled rich girl who got her job based on my last name versus my actual ability to do my job.

You see my father runs and owns the company we both got our paycheck from but I can assure you he wouldn't keep me in my seat if I didn't produce results. P&A Consulting is a small but highly successful public relations firm based out of Los Angeles that up until six months ago had relied heavily on well established stars as our core business. My father though felt that it was time to branch out and expand our business to include clients that were just starting out in their careers, hence his hiring of Jessie.

The minute I laid my eyes on Jessie and her long legs and wavy brown locks I felt an instant attraction that went unaddressed because of my severe dislike of her. She would make snotty remarks and used every opportunity to bash my ideas. There is a chance I'm being a bit biased but I don't thinks so, however, the way she tells it I was unwelcoming and horrible, lies I tell you, all lies.

Our fights and strong feelings of mistrust were really just foreplay and one night when we were both working late we ended up having sex in my office, her office and perhaps we may have snuck in a session or two in the boardroom as well. We tried to have a relationship but the heat between us fizzled out after a week, so being the traditional lesbians that we are, we became the best of friends.

I am going to assume that me being gay does not come as a big surprise.

Most people I meet know off the bat that I'm a lesbian, apparently I have this quality about me that screams I like having sex with women, I don't see it though. Even my parents, god bless them, knew I was gay before I did. By the time I figured out my sexuality I was sixteen and of course being the overly dramatic teenager that I was, I was sure my life was over.

I agonized about how to tell my parents, they were and are very traditional so I guessed that me having not so innocent thoughts about the female gender would not be something they took well. I spent weeks running all sorts of worst case scenarios through my head and by the time I worked up the courage to be honest with them I was such a nervous wreck that I hadn't eaten in almost three days. My actual recollection of my coming out is a bit fuzzy but from what I've been told I blurted out "I like girls" and when my mom responded with "finally we thought you'd never admit the truth," I fainted.

What I didn't know was that my parents had been discussing my gayness from a fairly young age and the longer I perpetrated the lie the harder it was for them, yes they actually said for them. My dad told me that he and my mom would fight to control their laughter when I gushed about boys. I have to be honest, I was a little miffed at their reaction. Don't get me wrong I know how lucky I am to have parents who love me no matter what but I had spent weeks building up to that moment and to have it fall flat was sort of deflating. They joke about how I sulked because they didn't start screaming or praying for my soul, I on the other hand deny their account of what happened completely.

After hugging me and telling me that they would support me, which yes I will say was rather sweet they decided it was the right time to drop another bombshell. That bombshell, my brother was also gay. At the time I had been enjoying a very nice and comforting bowl of ice cream and their announcement made me choke to the point that my mom, a doctor, had to perform the Heimlich maneuver. I'm still not sure why they chose that exact moment to share their suspicions about Glen but I laughed in their faces when they did. Glen was a basketball playing, skirt chasing pig, not to mention he was dating the head cheerleader at our high school. My parents ignored my howling laughter and kept firm on their belief that he was also in denial about his sexuality. I was so confident that they were mistaken that I made a bet with them to show how utterly insane I thought they were.

Four months later Glen dumped his girlfriend and started dating one of his teammates the same night. I don't think I've quite forgiven him yet for the fact that I had to wash my parent's cars for the next year. The only straight sibling I have is Clay, my adopted but loved just the same brother. I wonder sometimes if he wishes he was gay as well to fit in with Glen and me but he assures me constantly that isn't the case at all.

After high school I enjoyed a very, how shall I put it, adventurous four years at college and when I graduated I joined my father and Glen at the firm. Clay decided to follow in my mother's footsteps and become a doctor much to my mother's delight and my father's disappointment. I think he dreamed of having all of his kids working for him, keeping our business in the family but when I pointed out how much he sounded like a mob boss he dropped the subject immediately.

It's not always easy being the youngest child, my parents and my brothers think it's their duty to give me advice even when I don't ask for it and they're always babying me at every turn. I wouldn't trade them in for any other family though because they're my crazy family and my opinion has always been, better the crazy you know than the crazy you don't.

So, at the age of twenty-five, I work with some of the most prominent celebrities in the world and I enjoy every second of it.

You'd think I had it made but there is something missing and that something is the girl of my dreams.

A lot of times people, and by people I mean me, compare my life to that of Samantha from Sex and the City. Well obviously not because I sleep with countless men, the comparison comes from the fact that I'm in public relations and I don't do relationships. She may be like twenty years older than me, a fictional character and very heterosexual but other than that we're exactly alike…honest!

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against relationships and I'm pretty sure I'd make an excellent girlfriend. I'm kind, attentive, a good listener, warm, funny, loving and if I do say so myself, not too shabby in the 'how to please a woman' department. No, I'm not being over confident I've just had quite a few more than satisfied partners over the years to vouch for my bedroom skills. The reason I am currently single is because I get bored with the girls very quickly, Jessie would be a prime example of that. None of my past girlfriends or attempts at girlfriends have been able to keep my interest so I've just reached the point where I don't try anymore. I'm not depressed about it or anything but each day that goes by I wonder if I'll ever find someone to share my life with.

You might think I'm full of myself and not very nice but I'm just trying to give an accurate account of where I was in my life when meeting her changed everything.

"What's with you?" I asked Jessie as she sat down on the other side of my desk. While my morning moodiness had dissipated for the most part I still wasn't at full alertness yet.

Jessie, who was wearing a very short skirt, crossed her legs and continued to smirk. "I was wondering if you were ready for our meeting."

"What meeting? I saw no meeting scheduled for today." I replied as I double checked my calendar and my Blackberry to see how I could have missed an appointment.

"It was a last minute thing that your dad just arranged." Jessie explained. "Didn't your assistant send you the update?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes at the same time. "I swear I'm going to fire that woman today."

"You can't fire Mrs. Nyland, your dad would never let you." Jessie said while picking up one of my paperweights and rolling it around in her hand, something she knows I hate. "Besides she's a sweet old lady who wouldn't harm a fly."

"Then switch assistants with me if you love her so much." I challenged.

Jessie chuckled, "Uhm no, but thanks for the offer."

I narrowed my eyes at her in what I hoped was a very intimidating stare. Unfortunately I don't think it worked. "So who's the meeting with?"

I could almost see the fireworks going off in Jessie's head, as good friends as we are she never misses an opportunity to revel in my misfortune. "Some up and coming rock star." She said the words slowly and deliberately, knowing how much her announcement would tick me off.

"Why am I invited to that meeting?" I groaned. Most of my clients were established in their respective fields because they were the ones that were the least off their rocker. I still encountered the odd whack job but for the most part I didn't have to deal with anyone getting arrested or emerging from limousines without their underwear. I always balked at working with untested talent and so far I had been able to resist my father's call for change. Not to mention that rock stars were the worst to deal with. They often thought that rowdiness and partying were prerequisites for making it big and that led to them usually being a public relation nightmare.

"You know Arthur, he wants you to branch out and embrace the new direction the company is taking." Jessie answered.

I stood up and began to pace around my desk. "And who else is going to be there?"

Jessie watched me with an amused expression on her face. "All of us."

"Damn, damn, damn." I muttered under my breath. I would have used a different four letter word but everyone in the office was trying this new 'no swearing' policy and I didn't want to be the first person to have to pay up for using offensive language. "Maybe I'll just go home because I'm feeling sick."

"Now, now, the Spencer Carlin I know doesn't run away." Jessie knew exactly how to push my buttons, too bad she couldn't do that for me in the biblical sense. Ha! Score one for me!

I sat back down in my chair and tried to regain my composure. "Does the buffoon have a name?"

"Apparently she does."

That revelation changed my whole outlook on the situation. See, female rockers, established or not, are a different breed than their male counterparts. They oozed sex appeal and they usually played the guitar, which meant they had very strong hands. Strong hands that could play an instrument well and they could play something else well if you catch my drift. Wow, I really need to get laid, maybe that's why I'm such a foul mood.

"You really need to get laid." Jessie teased.

"You are just too funny for your own good." I fired back. "Speaking of which, how are things with you and Laura?"

Jessie shrugged her shoulders, "I think we'll be breaking up soon she's a little too clingy. Why, are you looking at me to help you with your problem?" She burst out laughing and for me that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

"Get out!" I ordered as I pointed to the door. "Get out right now!"

"Oh Spence can't you take a joke?" She asked as she ran out the door, she probably ran because I threw the paperweight that she'd been playing with so it narrowly missed her head. I wasn't trying to hit Jessie though I was just trying to scare her. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. "Don't forget the meeting, it's in an hour."

"Out!" I screamed like a mad woman. I marched over to my door and slammed it so hard that a few pictures in my office shook.

I was dreading my meeting like you wouldn't believe and instead of distracting myself with work I laid down on the comfortable couch that I had picked out for moments like this. I closed my eyes and contemplated taking a nap until I had to go to my meeting when another idea popped into my head.

My sexual frustration was obviously affecting me more than I thought so I decided to take matters into my own hand, so to speak.

I walked out of my office fifty-five minutes later feeling much better and I was ready to tackle whatever happened, with a smile on my face as an added bonus.

When I entered the boardroom Jessie and Glen were already there but my father and the mystery girl were not.

"Good morning." Glen sung out. "You look absolutely stunning in that suit." How I missed his homosexuality is beyond me.

"Thanks." I replied as I punched him on the shoulder.

"Spencer! That hurt!" Glen whined and I was just grateful he didn't burst into tears.

"Don't be such a wuss." I ordered as I took my seat in between my brother and my friend.

"I'd totally hit you back but I just got my nails done yesterday and I don't want to chip my polish." Glen pouted.

I rolled my eyes at him but I didn't respond to probably the gayest thing he had ever said to me. Instead I turned to Jessie, "When is Miss-diva-in-training getting here?" Hmmm, maybe my snarkiness is just the way I am as opposed to a side of effect of my current lack of sexual satisfaction. I avoided any further self examination and just waited for Jessie to reply.

"Should be any minute and from what I hear, she's quite a looker." The tone in her voice was suggestive but I wasn't about to give her another reason to tease me.

"Whatever, I bet she's full of herself anyway." I answered back as nonchalantly as possible but for some reason I didn't understand I was getting excited for her to make an appearance.

"She has reason to be." Jessie took her sweet ass time sipping her water before she continued. "From what I hear she's going to be the next big thing and there's a lot of competition to represent her."

Even though fresh talent wasn't my thing I was confident enough in my ability to woo potential clients that I wasn't worried. "Well it's a good thing they called in the big guns, isn't it?"

Jessie made some smart remark back to me but I didn't pay attention to it because at that exact moment the most stunning woman I had ever seen appeared. The boardroom was all glass so I had the perfect view of her as she chatted with my father. I was rendered speechless as I soaked in her beauty. She had the most luscious brown hair with the hint of red that framed her face in mind blowing curls. She had an extremely fit body and her cropped t-shirt allowed me to see what I'm sure is the world's sexiest six-pack. Everything about her captivated me and I couldn't tear my eyes away from her even if I wanted to, which I didn't.

She was deep in conversation with my dad so she didn't notice me gawking at her, but Jessie did. She leaned over and whispered right in my ear, "You're drooling."

I ignored her and everything else around me except the brunette. I didn't know her name but deep down in my gut and perhaps other parts of my body as well I felt a connection to the nameless woman who already had made a great impression of me.

Then she did the most amazing thing, she laughed at something my dad said and her nose crinkled in such a delightful manner I think I may have squealed. If I had any doubt in my mind about the affect she was having on me it was erased in that moment.

She had me at nose crinkle.

Whoever she was I believed that fate had determined that we'd meet right then and the rest as they say was going to be history. She was the yin to my yang, the ketchup to my fries and the pepperoni to my cheese pizza. I'm well aware that I'm not being exactly poetic in my descriptions but to be fair I think my brain short-circuited when she appeared.

"I'm going to marry that girl." Escaped my lips before I had a chance to censor myself and it didn't even bother me when Jessie snickered or Glen gasped. They couldn't possibly understand what I was feeling and I was already too far gone to care what they thought.

That brings me to the present and for some reason my dad is still outside the boardroom talking to my future wife. It's taking all my will power not to rush over to them so I can hear her talk but I don't want to appear crazy so I'm staying in my chair even though the anticipation is killing me.

"Don't you think you should learn her name first before you marry her?" Jessie asks.

Glen interrupts before I can get a word in. "I know her name! I know her name!" He pauses for dramatic effect and I almost punch him again. "It's Carmen."

Now don't get me wrong, Carmen is a fine name but she doesn't look like a Carmen and that is the same name of some lunatic I slept with once who became obsessed with me. I pull a face but I'm not going to let something as silly as her name interfere with our future.

Jessie leans over and slaps Glen upside the head. "You're an idiot."

"Bitch." Glen hisses.

"You're an idiot and now you owe a dollar in the swear jar." Jessie gleefully exclaims. "Her name isn't Carmen. It's Ashley, Ashley Davies."

I don't ask Jessie how she knows her name; instead I repeat it over and over in mind. Ashley, it's perfect, just like her. Spencer and Ashley, Ashley and Spencer, either way I think our names fit together so well.

"But I think there's something you should know before you send out the wedding invitations." Jessie says.

I somehow find the strength to look away from Ashley and move my eyes over to my friend. "What?"

"Oh my god how yummy." Glen coos and I must say his reaction at seeing Ashley surprises me. Her beauty is timeless and crosses the lines of sexual orientation I surmise.

I whip my head in Glen's direction as I elbow him in the gut, gently of course. "She's mine so I suggest you find someone else to fawn over."

"As if." Glen says while rolling his eyes. "I'm talking about him."

I finally turn my attention back to where Ashley is standing and I see a tall and muscular guy beside her. Where did he come from? He's cute, I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing. "Who's he?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." Jessie huffs. "That's Aiden, Ashley's up and coming rocker boyfriend."

Ouch, that hurts.

Ashley turns around and wraps her arms around Aiden's neck. She smiles at him right before she presses her lips against his. I throw up a little in my mouth.

I'm not stupid to go after straight girls and I'm not usually the kind of person that chases someone when they're taken. But this is different, Ashley's different and I know in my heart of hearts that we're meant to be together. Sure I haven't spoken a word to her and she doesn't even know I exist but pretty boy Aiden better get ready for a fight because I want Ashley Davies.

And what Spencer Carlin wants, Spencer Carlin gets.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After an eternity or what feels like an eternity my dad starts to guide Ashley and 'Douche Boy' into the boardroom. Oh, right, I renamed Aiden 'Douche Boy' or D.B. for short, because I think the name suits him better. Yeah, yeah, I don't know a thing about D.B., but he's got his grubby paws all over Ashley and for that reason alone I don't like him.

My dad opens the door for Ashley and I suck in a deep breath to prepare myself for our first official meeting. My heart picks up some serious speed and I wonder if the thumping I hear in my ears can be heard by anyone else in the room.

I'm just waiting for our eyes to come in contact because I'm sure when they do, Ashley will have the same reaction to me that I had to her. It's inevitable right? I mean there's no way that I would be the only one feeling what I'm feeling.

Once the three of them are inside the boardroom a shiver runs down my spine. My focus is on Ashley and Ashley only and nothing is going to distract me from what is about to happen.

I frown when I notice that Ashley is too busy staring at Aiden to even look in my direction. She's not following the script and it's bothering me.

What script you ask?

You know, she'll slowly look towards me and if this was a movie, the background music would reach its crescendo right as her brown orbs meet my blue ones. Then, Ashley will dump D.B. right then and there, right before she declares her undying love for me.

What? It could happen!

I'm going stir crazy from the anticipation and I guess I'm not being too subtle about it either because Jessie whispers to me, "Down girl, you don't want to scare her away."

My fists ball at my side but I don't say anything back because I don't want to take the chance that Ashley will look over at me while I'm beating my friend up and our perfect moment will be ruined.

"This is my son Glen." My dad says to Ashley. Glen stands up to shake Ashley's hand but my dad isn't done with the introductions yet. He smiles warmly at Ashley and then at my brother. "And this Ashley Davies, the next big thing."

Ashley's cheeks turn pink and if I thought her nose crinkle was adorable, it's nothing compared to how she looks right now. "Mr. C, you sure know how to make a girl blush."

I melt inside. Aw, she already has a nickname for my father, how cute is that! If that's not a sign that we're meant to be together, I don't know what is.

Glen takes Ashley's hand and turns it over. "Enchante." He coos before he kisses the back of her hand. I swear if he weren't gay my fist would have connected with his face. Ashley giggles, which I guess is an ok reaction but then she turns to D.B and they start making eyes at each other again.

Gag. Me. With. A. Spoon!

Ugh, I'm about two seconds away from causing a scene but luckily my common sense is winning out…so far.

"I'm Aiden." D.B. says in a deep manly voice that Glen seems to get a kick out of.

He winks at Aiden before shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you, it's an absolute pleasure." D.B. doesn't look comfortable with the attention Glen is giving him and now I have another reason to hate his stupid face. He's obviously a macho, homophobic jerk and for the life of me I can't understand what Ashley sees in him.

I'm too busy hating Aiden in my head to realize that the attention is now on me.

"This is my daughter, Spencer." My dad says.

I snap out of my daze and I swear I can feel my heart about to leap out of my chest. I jump to my feet, this is what I've been waiting for, when everything is going to come together like it should.

Spencer Carlin this is your destiny.

I am in such a rush to have contact with Ashley that it doesn't register in my head that my pant leg is caught underneath the bottom of my chair before it's too late.

I only make very brief eye contact with Ashley until possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me happens.

Over dramatic? You be the judge.

I push my chair back so fast, with my one pant leg still caught under the wheel, that I end up in a heap on the floor with my face planted in the plush carpet.

"Oh my god are you ok?" Someone asks, but I'm in such shock that I can't even tell you who it was that spoke.

It dawns on me what just occurred and that's when I hit panic mode.

I just wiped out in front of Ashley.

She's going to think I'm a clumsy idiot.

This is so not turning out how it should be.

I need to get out of this room and I need to get out now.

Abort! Abort! Abort!

"I told you we fall all over ourselves when it comes to our clients." My dad jokes. I'd sleep with one eye open tonight old man if I were you!

I finally force myself to look up and when I do, I see Jessie looking down on me. She seems to be on the cusp of laughing but being the sort of good friend that she is, she's controlling herself.

Glen on the other hand never misses a chance to make fun of me. "The fall itself was good but I'm going to have to deduct points for the landing."

The room explodes in laughter and I pray the floor will open and swallow me up whole.

I contemplate crawling out of the room before I have a chance to embarrass myself further and that's when I hear a raspy and sexy might I add, voice address me.

"If it makes you feel any better I fall all the time." Ashley says and I melt inside again. Aw, she's trying to comfort me, how sweet!

I can't let her nice gesture be for nothing so I smooth my clothes out and stand up. I slowly lift my head as I prepare to redeem myself by hopefully making a better second impression than my first. I tilt my head to one side, a move that I perfected years ago and I'm just about to bat my eyelashes at her when she jumps a little.

"I'm so sorry, just give me second." Ashley apologizes as she reaches inside her jean pocket and grabs her cell phone. She rushes out the room to take the call making me audibly sigh.

Damn! Foiled again!

I wonder who I pissed off in a former life to deserve this cruel twist of fate.

D.B. sticks his fugly man hand in front of me. "Hi, I'm Aiden."

I feel nauseous again but for the sake of appearances I smile and shake that dick's hand. "Nice to meet you."

Ashley comes back into the boardroom and I prepare myself to finally have some sort of moment with her when my dad speaks up. "Ashley this is the other associate I was talking to you about, Jessie."

No! Why is he torturing me so? I like to think of myself as a good daughter but that doesn't seem to matter to him. Before I can say "Aiden is a dunghole," Ashley's attention is already on my friend.

"Nice to meet you." She says as she reaches over to shake Jessie's hand.

"Likewise." Jessie purrs seductively.

Oh no she didn't! She did not just use her sexy voice on Ashley, how fucking rude! I'm so bloody frustrated that when I'm sure nobody is paying attention to me I hoof my foot right at Jessie's ankle to punish her for daring to address my wife to be like that. Jessie doesn't verbalize her pain but the death stare she gives me after she finishes greeting Ashley makes me smile.

"Now that we have the introductions out of the way, let's all take a seat." My dad orders.

"Don't miss the chair." Glen giggles making me wonder where I should bury is body after I kill him.

My face burns and my only hope is that Ashley is looking somewhere else. I take a chance and glance in her direction, nope, as luck would have it she's staring directly at me. I flinch at the intensity of her eyes, on instinct and without even realizing it, I tilt my head and smile. She smiles back and even though there's no nose crinkle I die a little inside. After a few seconds Ashley breaks our stare but I don't mind, I know she felt something when she locked eyes with mine, that I'm sure of.

My dad starts his sales pitch on why we should be the firm to represent Ashley's budding career but I'm not paying attention. I can't tear my eyes away from Ashley's stunningly beautiful face throughout his entire pitch.

She seems to be concentrating on what he's saying but I just have a feeling she's secretly replaying the last few seconds in her head like I am.

"You might want to take a picture, it lasts longer." Jessie whispers to me. I snap my head in her direction and give her the evilest eye I can muster. "Don't think I won't get you back for almost breaking my ankle." She warns but I'm not afraid…much.

"Next time don't try and make a move on my girl." I whisper back. It's odd you know, I'm not usually so aggressive but for some reason Ashley has brought this side of me out. Then again I've never reacted to anyone like I've reacted to Ashley. Now all I need to do is hatch a plan to get her all to myself.

Jessie rolls her eyes, "Jesus Christ Spence don't you think you're overreacting just a little. Seriously, you don't even know her."

"First of all, you swore so now you owe a dollar to the swear jar." I exclaim triumphantly. Initially I was against counting 'Jesus Christ' as an offensive expression but now I'm glad I lost that fight. "Secondly, just watch me bring out the Carlin charm. Ashley doesn't stand a chance." It's a pretty bold statement to make considering how much of a fool I've made out myself so far, but, I'm feeling braver than I should under the circumstances and that's better than berating myself for my big wipeout.

"Oh my god would you two shut up." Glen interjects. "You're distracting me from gawking at Aiden."

My dad clears his throat rather loudly and the three of us immediately sit up straighter, no pun intended, in our seats. "As I was saying, while we may not the biggest firm out there I can assure you Ashley that what we lack in size we make up for in personal attention."

Oh yeah, I can give her all the personal attention she can handle!

"I understand that this is a big decision for you and if you give us a chance you'll be in very good hands." He continues.

Damn, what I would give to have Ashley in my hands, I can only fantasize about the possibilities.

Ashley is about to respond when Jessie's assistant sticks her head into the boardroom. "I'm sorry to interrupt your meeting but I need to have a word with Ms. James."

Jessie apologizes to Ashley and then she gets up and leaves.

Ashley furrows her brow and I can almost see the wheels turning in her head.

Jessie's parents swear they didn't realize that Jessica could be shortened to Jessie when they named her. I've met her parents though and I doubt the validity of their claim.

Jessie James…parents can be so cruel.

I asked Jessie once why she doesn't change her name to something less ridiculous. She told me that even though she was made fun of as a child for her famous moniker that as an adult it makes her alluring to the ladies. She says it gives her the allusion of danger and that piques a lot of girls' interest.

Yeah I know, I can't believe I had sex with her either.

"Mr. C, you've definitely given me a lot to think about but I need some time to mull my decision over." Ashley declares and I can see how disappointed my dad is.

"I understand and if there's anything…"

My dad's rebuttal is cut short when Jessie comes flying back into the room. "Uhm sorry but Arthur I need you, it's a code red."

Code red…that's never a good thing.

"Right, Ashley please think what I have to say over and I'll call you tomorrow." My dad says quickly before he flies out into the hall.

Ashley looks confused and I don't blame her.

"Oh my god." Glen girlishly squeals. "I just have to find out what happened." He stands ups quickly and gives D.B. the once over on his way out. "Toodles!"

I snicker at him until it hits me that the only people left in our meeting are me, Ashley and he-who-shall-not-be-named.

Time to salvage both my dignity and the business deal that will allow me to see Ashley on a regular basis.

"I am so sorry about that." I say as I look apologetically at Ashley.

"What's a code red?" She asks as she reaches for Aiden's hand.

Ok, I need to not react to that or else I'm likely to make an ass out of myself again. "It means that one of our clients has just found themselves in the middle of a big scandal." I tilt my head yet again. "But of course I couldn't give you specifics because we take our clients' privacy very seriously." She seems impressed by that and I do a little victory dance in my mind.

"I completely understand." Ashley replies.

I lean forward in my chair, "I know this meeting hasn't gone exactly as my dad planned." I wait a few beats, "although I did fall at your feet to make a good impression." Yes! Ashley laughs at my wittiness and the nose crinkle is back. Now it's time to go for the kill. "The office is going to be pretty chaotic while we handle this crisis. Why don't we meet for dinner later so I can have the chance to woo you in style." I add another head tilt for good measure.

Ashley is hesitant, "I don't know…"

"I think that's a great idea babe." Aiden says. Shoot, I'd forgotten he was still here, wait a tick, he's actually agreeing with me, maybe I misjudged him.

"Can Aiden come with?" Ashley inquires.

No, no, a thousand times no I want to scream.

"Don't you remember, I have to meet up with the guys tonight, but you should go." Aiden tells her and it's official, I love him!

Ashley glares at Aiden and the two of them seem to be having this whole conversation with their eyes.

I wonder what that's about?

"So what do you say?" I ask hopefully.

Please universe, please let her say yes.

"Sure, I don't see the harm in that." Ashley replies, albeit it appears her reply comes with some reluctance.

I don't blame her mind you, but who cares, she said yes and I nearly pump my fist in triumph.

We work out the details of where we're going to meet and settle on a time. I can't quite read the expression on her face but I'm confident that tonight I'll be able to charm the pants off of Ashley.

No, not like that, it's just an expression.

The pants removal can wait, not for too long though.

"I'll see you at eight o'clock." Ashley says to me right as her and Aiden are leaving.

"Absolutely." I grin. "It's a date!" Oops, I didn't mean it to sound like that.

Ashley looks like she's about to change her mind and I nearly pass out. "Sure, uhm a date."

Whew, that was close.

I make every effort to appear innocent, yet stunning, as I walk the soon to be exes to the elevator. I wave as the doors close and when Ashley is no longer in sight I finally exhale.

Needles to say our first meeting didn't go exactly as I would have liked.

On the bright sight though I will be seeing her again soon, without out anyone else around to bother us.

My face falls though when I hit panic mode again.

I'm going to be alone with Ashley Davies.

I run into my office, grab my purse and keys and hightail it out of the office so I can deal with the big problem I'm now facing.

What the hell am I going to wear for our date?

Our date!

If everything goes the way I hope it does, I'm certain tonight will be a night that Ashley and I will never forget.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Apparently my dad was not very impressed that I left the office before lunch so I could go shopping for a new outfit to wear tonight.

How can I tell?

Well, he's yelling at me right now.

"I don't understand what is wrong with you." He screams so loud I have to hold the phone away from my ear. "We are in the middle of a huge crisis and you decide to go gallivanting in Beverly Hills. Honestly Spencer, you should know better than that."

"But dad." I whine.

"No buts." He cuts in. "Get yourself back to the office this instant young lady." And with that he hangs up on me.

Ugh, my father is so overly dramatic. Must be where Glen gets it from.

He is my dad though and my boss, so I guess I kind of have to do what he says.

I leave the store without trying on anything else, even though I don't want to, and hightail it back to work.

When I stroll into the office about twenty minutes later nobody is running around and everything seems eerily calm.

"I thought there was a crisis." I mutter under my breath as I open the door to my own office.

"There was but we solved it without you." Jessie announces from behind, effectively scaring the living daylights out of me.

"What the…" Oh I know what she's trying to do, that little minx. "Heck." I finish as I whip around to gloat at her. "Thought you could get me to swear huh? Well sucks to be you because there's no way I'm going to give one dollar to that stupid jar idea of yours."

Jessie rolls her eyes as she follows me inside. "You are so overly dramatic Spence."

Hmmm, where have I heard that before?

"No I'm not." I reply defensively. "Besides, I have the right to be upset. My dad called me right in the middle of an errand I was running in order for me to come back here and when I arrive I find out that supposed crisis he was ranting about is over."

Jessie flops down on my couch, "What nerve he has. I mean it's not like you have an actual job to do or anything."

"Like you even know what you're talking about." I say because well, she's right and I hate it when I'm not. "So, spill, what was the big emergency?"

"Someone is in big trouble." Glen announces as he sprints into my office, uninvited. He sits down next to Jessie and he's grinning so widely I'm a little worried he might hurt himself. "Dad is super pi…" Glen hesitates for a few seconds. "Super ticked off."

I lean against the edge of my desk and try to look cool even though a part of me is worried that I may have really upset him. "Whatever, it's not the worst thing I've ever done."

"True." Glen concurs. "But the vein in his forehead that throbs when he's super mad is throbbing like a son of a…" He hesitates again. "Gun. Whew, that was a close call."

"Nice job Glen." Jessie exclaims right before she high fives my brother.

My god, they are so gay!

"It wasn't my fault." I say in my defense. "I had something important to do."

Jessie raises her brow, "Really, like what?"

Damn it! I just knew she was going to ask me that. "None of your business."

"I know where she was." Glen squeals. He claps his hand excitedly and bounces up and down on the couch like a child.

"Shut up!" I shout.

"Oooh, now you owe a dollar." Jessie laughs and I'm seriously about to blow. Those two are driving me crazy.

"Fuck off." I shout even louder. "And believe me I'll gladly pay another dollar to say it again. Fuck off."

If I have to fork out the dough to curse I might as well get my money's worth.

"I think you might have hit a nerve Glen." Jessie smirks.

"I know I did." Glen says joyfully. "Our dear Spencer was out shopping this morning."

I clench my hands as I remind myself that violence is not a good way to solve my problems.

"Oh really?" Jessie plays along. "And what pray tell would she be doing shopping in the middle of the day?"

"Ok guys you've had your fun, now get out of here." I say hoping they'll leave me alone.

Glen ignores my kind request. "It seems she wants to find the perfect outfit to seduce one Ashley Davies."

Jessie melodramatically gasps, "You don't say. That's strange considering I heard Ashley was straight and that she has a boyfriend."

I roll my eyes at their antics but the two of them don't seem to care and they also seem to think they're hysterically funny.

I, on the other hand, don't.

"She sure does and he's super hot." Glen gushes. "Did you see Aiden's muscles? He's so ripped I nearly died."

"So not my cup of tea but I'll take your word for it." Jessie replies.

I march over to 'Tweedle Dumb" and "Tweedle Dee" in order to wipe their smug expressions right off their faces. "If the two of you don't make like a truck and haul buns you'll be sorry."

Jessie and Glen look at each and burst out laughing.

"I think wittle Spencer is a wittle mad." Jessie teases as she pokes me in the stomach.

I smack her hand away, "I'm warning you, don't do that again."

Jessie doesn't appear intimidated by my scowl and the seriousness of my tone. "I'm sowee Spencer, I didn't mean to make you so upset. Will wittle Spencer forgive me?" She continues and then she pokes my stomach a second time.

It's on now!

I jump on top of Jessie so I can teach her a lesson.

"Fight, fight." Glen screeches as he gets out of the way.

Jessie tries to push me off of her but I'm not going anywhere. Both of us struggle to get the upper hand while Glen is smart enough not to interfere in our epic battle. Eventually I get Jessie in a headlock that she cannot break.

"Say you're sorry." I demand while gripping her neck tightly.

"You are so butch." Jessie replies through gritted teeth. "Let me go."

"Never!" I call out as I drag her off the couch. "Not until you apologize."

Jessie goes to elbow me in the gut but I'm way ahead of her and I manage to avoid her attack. "Why are you only picking on me? Glen was making fun of you too."

"Well I never." Glen declares as he fans himself with his hand. "You're a sell out Jessie."

"Don't you worry about Glen." I assure her as I glare at my brother. "He'll get his eventually."

"Ahhhh." Glen yelps.

"I'm not going to ask again." I give Jessie's neck an extra squeeze to remind her she's in no position to argue. "Say you're sorry."

"Spencer?"

Oh god, that voice, her voice, what is she doing here?

I glance up and see Ashley standing in the doorway of my office. She looks unsure of herself and a bit puzzled by what she's walked in on.

I immediately let go of Jessie and try to look dignified. "Hey Ashley. What brings you by?" That's it Carlin, just pretend nothing's wrong and everything will go ok.

Ashley has her both her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, making her even more sexy than the first time I saw her. "It's about tonight…"

No! She's canceling on me, gah! How the hell am I supposed to convince her that I'm her true love if I don't get the chance to talk to her alone? I knew this was going to happen! Life sucks! The world sucks! How is this even fair?

"Aiden was going to drop me off but he can't. Do you think you could pick me up?" She finishes.

I love life! I mean could my luck get any better? I'm sorry universe for doubting you, it will never happen again.

"I didn't have your number, that's why I came back here." Ashley shuffles her feet nervously. "If it's a problem just let me know."

"Say something." Jessie whispers as she nudges my side.

"Sure that's not problem at all." I tell her after I snap out of my Ashley induced stupor. "All I need is your address."

Ashley gives it to me even though I admit she still doesn't overly thrilled at the prospect of a night out with me. Not that I blame her all that much. I mean I've acted like a bit of a dork around her so far, but that's all about to change.

Ashley Davies is about to meet Sexy Spencer, and from my experience not too many people can resist her.

Oh yeah!

"See you in a few hours." I say cheerfully before Ashley exits my office.

I'm too busy watching her go to notice Jessie and Glen hatching a plan.

Right as Ashley is out of view, Jessie grabs my Blackberry out of my hand.

My Blackberry that has Ashley's phone number and address in it.

"Keep away." Jessie yells. I lunge at her but before I can get back what's rightfully mine she tosses my Blackberry at Glen.

"Spencer-in-the-middle." He yells back and they both start laughing.

"This isn't funny you assholes." I shout at the top of my lungs, however, both of them ignore my outburst.

They continue torturing me until my dad storms into my office.

"What in the world is going on in here?" He asks as he folds his arms across his chest. "This is a business not a playground, now get back to work!"

"Sorry dad." Glen and I mumble at the same time.

"Sorry Arthur." Jessie says as she hangs her head in shame.

My dad throws his hands up in the air. "Kids!"

Once he's gone I get my Blackberry back and even though I'm supposed to be hard at work all I can think about is Ashley and the possibilities this night might hold for us.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"What about this?" I ask as I walk out of my closet.

Because my father went ballistic when I made a simple request to leave work early I didn't have time to buy something new to impress Ashley.

Sheesh, he really needs to relax.

Jessie is lying on her stomach on my bed and flipping through the latest issue of Vogue. She claims it's for research purposes but I'm not convinced. I have a sneaking suspicion she just wants to ogle the half naked women inside. Not that I blame her or anything. She looks me up and down before shaking her head. "Too slutty."

I grunt in frustration but don't argue with her. I return a few minutes later to reveal my next outfit choice. "How about this one?"

Glen, who's sitting on the floor in my bedroom, glances at me as he tears his eyes away from his copy of GQ. I don't even have to bother guessing why he's reading that magazine because every few seconds he turns to Jessie to find out if she thinks a certain guy is better looking than D.B. "Not slutty enough." He tells me.

"You guys are so not helping." I call out as I go to find something else to try on.

"Yes, we are." Glen replies. "We're your fashion gurus."

"Yeah Spence, you'd be hopeless without us." Jessie chimes in.

I highly doubt that.

"Oh my god, remember that time Spence wore white after Labor Day?" Glen asks Jessie while I attempt to block them out.

"Of course I do, you fainted when you saw her." Jessie answers back.

"What can I say, fashion is no joking matter." Glen says in a very serious tone.

"Please that was not it at all." I shout from the closet. "You just saw a cute firefighter nearby and you wanted him to do mouth-to-mouth on you."

"I scoff at the implication of your statement. Scoff I say." Glen says in a very high-pitched voice.

"She's so ungrateful." Jessie continues mocking me, while I continue to pretend that I'm not listening.

"Yeah Spence, you don't know how lucky you are." Glen tells me as I prepare to show them my next outfit.

I emerge from my closet wearing black dress pants and a simple, yet stunning aqua blue blouse. The blouse is tight, but not too tight that Ashley will think I've spent the last hour or so rifling through my entire wardrobe.

Even though that's exactly what I've done.

"So what do you think?" I ask as I twirl around.

"It's alright I guess." Glen says very unenthusiastically.

Jessie shrugs, "Meh, I still think you could do better."

I don't reply with words, instead I calmly walk over to the two of them, grab them by their respective hands and pull them towards my front door.

I'm surprisingly strong for my size.

"We were just kidding." Jessie protests on her way my apartment.

"Can't you take a joke?" Glen questions right before I shove him into Jessie.

I grin innocently at my brother and friend as I slam the door in their faces.

There, much better.

Now I can get ready for Ashley in peace without those two killing my mood and my mojo.

I need to be firing on all cylinders tonight if I'm going to impress the future Mrs. Spencer Carlin.

Or I could change my name to Davies, I'm not that picky, as long as I get the girl.

I put the finishing touches on my make-up and rush out the door minutes later in order to avoid being late.

And thankfully I'm not even that nervous.

I think I'm going to hurl.

I just pulled into Ashley's driveway and my stomach is not only doing somersaults, I'm pretty sure it's doing black flips as well.

Oh universe, please let tonight go like I want it to.

Pretty please, with sugar and cherries and whatever else you want on top.

I was in such a daze as I drove over to Ashley's that I'm not even sure how I got here.

All I know is I left my place about twenty minutes ago and viola, here I am.

Ok Spencer, just breathe and everything will be fine, remember just breathe.

I am about to unclip my seatbelt so I can go let Ashley know I'm here when I catch sight of her walking towards my fire engine red Mustang.

Yeah I know, such a sweet ride.

I like to call it the "Spencermobile". Catchy name don't you think?

I have to admit I'm a little disappointed that I don't get to escort Ashley to the car. I envisioned opening the door for her so I could show her how gallant I am. The closer Ashley gets to me, my disappointment changes to excitement because I get to check her out without appearing like I'm checking her out.

And dayum she's still the hottest, sexiest person I've ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on.

She's wearing the same clothes she was earlier today but that doesn't matter. Her hips sway hypnotically and the fact that her very well defined abs are on display makes me happy in my, uhm, happy place.

Plus I think it's a very good sign that she was waiting for me. It just goes to show that she's looking forward to seeing me again.

Or, she thinks I'm a nut job and wants to get this over with as quickly as she can.

Nah, like that's even a remote possibility.

I do believe it's time for a bit of a pep talk.

You only got one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo.

Right, I'm over thinking this way too much.

How do I know that?

I've resorted to quoting an Eminem song, that's a clear sign.

Instead of berating myself further, I simply flash Ashley a very disarming smile as I tilt my head.

She smiles back and even though I don't get a nose crinkle, I do feel some of the tension easing out of my body.

"Right on time I see." Ashley says as she slides into the seat next to me.

"Of course." I start as I wink at her. "You know what they say, an early bird catches the worm."

Oh.

My.

God.

What the hell just came out of my mouth?

Is it me, or did I just compare Ashley to a worm?

I am officially the lamest, dumbest person on the face of the earth.

Ashley chuckles lightly and for some reason I get the feeling that she's not laughing at me, even though she should be. "Don't you ever wonder who "they" are?"

I giggle nervously and much louder than normal. "Oh totally." I'm pretty sure that my face is the same color as my car right now.

"Like for sure." Ashley replies in Valley girl voice and dear lord the nose crinkle is back.

I pull out of her driveway as I will my hands to stop shaking. "Ok Ms. Davies you've had your fun at my expense there will be no more of that for the rest of the night."

That's good, joke around, show her that you can laugh at yourself.

"I didn't realize that you were so formal Ms. Carlin." Ashley banters back.

"Well this is a business meeting after all, I have to be professional." I lie. The thoughts running through my head are anything but professional. They involve a naked Ashley and a naked me being very naked together, over and over again.

Ashley laughs and it sounds genuine, which is very good because I want her to be as comfortable as possible before I seduce her.

I'm probably getting ahead of myself but again, my gut tells me I'm not.

I weave in and out of L.A.'s horrendous traffic with ease and that doesn't go unnoticed by a certain brunette with luscious curls and a killer body.

"I can't believe you don't go crazy driving in this city." Ashley remarks when we hit a bit of traffic.

"You don't drive?" I ask incredulously. Everybody and their mother drives in L.A., you can't get around otherwise.

"Never had the need to in New York." Ashley tells me and it's at this point that I realize I don't really know a thing about her.

Except of course that soon she will be mine.

Why do I suddenly feel like breaking out into an evil laugh?

"Well if you ever need someone to teach you, I'm your girl." I coo.

That came out way more suggestive than I intended, hopefully Ashley doesn't pick up on what I really meant by that statement.

I sneak a peek over at her and she's shifting in her seat. "That's quite alright, I like having Aiden driving me around."

Snap!

Things just got very uncomfortable in my car.

Time for a subject change.

"Well good for you." I say with fake enthusiasm. "I know this great little Italian restaurant that serves the best homemade pasta I've ever tasted. I hope that's ok?"

"Yum, I love Italian." Ashley replies with gusto and any residual awkwardness from a few minutes ago is gone.

"That's good to hear." I seem to be steering both my vehicle and the conversation in the right direction, thankfully. "Most people in L.A. have turned off carbs completely, it's almost impossible to find anyone to go to this restaurant with me."

"I'm not like most people." Ashley's velvety voice hits me like a freight train.

Is she flirting with me?

I glance over at her again but I can't read the expression on her face because she's suddenly fascinated by the scenery that's passing her by as I drive.

Interesting.

The rest of the ride passes in silence, but there's no awkwardness anymore and when Ashley gets out of my car after we pull into the restaurant parking lot she doesn't look at all flustered or uneasy.

I hold the restaurant door open for her and I'm happy I'm finally getting a chance to show off my manners.

My mom would be so proud.

"Heya Spencer long time a no see." Franco, the owner of the restaurant shouts rather loud when he spots me walk in.

"Hi Franco, you look as handsome as ever." I reply before giving him a quick hug.

He blushes and then swats me on the shoulder. "You such a smooth talker." Franco stops fawning over me though when he spots my beautiful companion for the night. "How rude Spencer, you have to tell me who is this pretty lady?"

Ashley looks bashfully at the large Italian man staring at her. "I'm Ashley." She sticks out her hand but of course that's not good enough for Franco. He gives Ashley an incredibly big bear hug that takes her by complete surprise.

"Ok Franco put the lady down." I order.

Franco swats at me again but he's laughing. "I'll be back to show you your table in a second." He says before he disappears into the dining area.

"I thought people like that only exist in the movies." Ashley whispers to me.

I let out a soft chuckle, "So did I before I found this place. But he's harmless and a very sweet man."

Ashley furrows her brow and it's killing me that I can't figure out what's going on in that head of hers.

Franco walks back over to Ashley and me. He claps his hands and then motions to us to follow him, so we do.

Once we're seated, Franco makes an announcement. "You a not going to need a menu, because tonight, my wife shall prepare a special meal for two special girls."

Ashley and I look at each other and then back at him. "Thanks Franco."

"That's very kind of you." Ashley tells him.

Franco leaves us alone and I'm suddenly nervous again.

This is what I've been waiting for, it's just me and Ashley, no one around but us, no more anticipation, no more…

"Do you know where the ladies room is?" Ashley asks.

I inwardly sigh but outwardly I smile. "Just go down the hall and it's on your left." I watch her walk away and I can't help wondering what else could possibly prevent me from getting my moment with Ashley.

"Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here."

I snap my head up and come face to face with the one person I'd hope to never run into again.

Madison Duarte.

Oh crap!

I'm pretty sure my night is about to take a drastic turn for the worse.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"What the fuck do you want?" I ask as I narrow my eyes at Madison.

I'm just glad we're not at work so I can swear without having to pay.

"My, my you sure are feisty tonight Carlin." Madison smirks. She puts her hand on her hip in what I can only assume is her way of attempting to intimidate me.

It doesn't work though.

I bet you're wondering about my history with Madison.

Well she's certainly not an ex of mine.

Because ewww, I wouldn't touch her with a hundred foot pole.

Look I'm not blind, I know Madison isn't ugly on the outside, but inside she's evil incarnate and I'm fairly certain she has no heart.

I've known Madison for more years then I care to count and our relationship is complex with many different layers that can't be easily explained in a few short sentences.

Ok, ok, it's actually not that complicated I just have a flair for the dramatics.

Madison was the cheerbitch that Glen was dating when he came out.

And to say she didn't take it well would be a humongous understatement.

Now, I can make fun of Glen all I want, and I do, because he's my brother but when someone else tries to give him a hard time they awaken a beast inside of me.

Madison felt the need to tease my brother and she also felt the need to round up some of her jock friends to teach my brother a lesson on what a real man is.

He hardly even broke a sweat when he punched their lights out. I was so proud of Glen that I actually hugged him in public, that was a day for the record books.

Ever since then I've had a justifiable hatred for that bitch and every time we run into each other it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. She always makes a point of trying to get under my skin and for the life of me I can't figure out why. It's not like I'm the one who dumped her large and ample ass.

Ok, ok, I kind of know why she might have it in for me.

Madison has this ridiculous theory that I'm the one who started the rumor that seeing Madison naked is what turned Glen gay.

How she ever got an idea like that is beyond me.

"Why are you snickering?" Madison hisses.

I take a big sip of the wine that Franco just poured and I'm hoping if I ignore her she'll just go away.

Madison on the other hand has other ideas. "How's that faggy brother of yours?"

Oh no she didn't.

I shoot up from my chair and get right in Madison's face. "You better shut your mouth before I shut it for you."

Madison cackles and that drives my blood pressure up even higher. "I see I have your attention now Carlin."

I am so not in the mood for a confrontation and I really, really don't want to chance Ashley meeting someone who dislikes me so much. "Whatever you have to say, I'm not interested, so why don't you…"

"I guess you didn't hear the big news?" Madison cuts in.

Like I even care.

"You're looking at the newest addition at T.L & Associates." She finishes.

I should probably explain.

T.L. & Associates is a rival P.R. firm that has been my dad's biggest competition for years. So of course Madison would pick that company to work for, how predictable.

They conduct their business very shrewdly and they treat their talent like pieces of meat. Not only that, but their owner, Mr. Lynch, is a major dumbass who can't string two coherent sentences together.

"Congratufuckinglations." I sarcastically reply.

"Thanks, I know that comes from the bottom of your heart." Madison matches my sarcasm but she's not done. "My first order of business is to destroy that joke of a company your family owns and there's not a thing you can do about it."

I roll my eyes because frankly Madison is starting to bore me. "Can you go be crazy somewhere else."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your date." Madison says sweetly but I can hear the venom behind her words.

"It's not a date." I reply a little too quickly.

"Right, you're just looking to get into her pants." Madison scowls. "That's what you do right? Use the girls you're with and then toss them aside before you move onto your next prey."

Whoa.

Where the hell did that come from?

It almost sounds like she's…so not going there, forget I even brought it up.

"I don't care to continue this conversation." I sit back down and take another big sip of wine. Madison has totally unnerved me and I need to relax before Ashley comes back.

"Fine, I'm through here anyway." Madison says and I couldn't be happier. With my luck of course Ashley picks this exact moment to enter the dining area and Madison addresses her before I can shut her mouth. She gives Ashley the once over and I can't seem to make my legs move. "Good luck with her." Madison starts as she points at me. "She really is a fuck 'em and leave 'em kinda girl."

Ashley's jaw drops and my heart leaps out of my chest.

Madison turns to me and waves, "Later Spencer, do have yourself a wonderful evening." She saunters out the restaurant leaving me to deal with the aftermath of her revelation.

I finish the rest of my wine in one gulp before I risk taking a look at Ashley. She's still standing where I last saw her and when she turns back to face me the shocked expression on her face sends a chill down my spine.

This is so not going to go well.

I pour myself another glass of wine and I just know I'm about to say something stupid. "Don't they just have the best bathrooms here?" I laugh almost manically at my idiotic self and I'm surprised Ashley doesn't run the other way screaming. "I mean you know, not that I rate bathrooms or anything, it was just an observation." Shut up Spencer! "On a scale from one to ten, ten being the best of course, I'd rate it a nine." I silence my rambling mouth with yet another big gulp of wine as a wave of nausea hits me.

"Who was that?" Ashley asks as she sits down. Her eyes are wide and the walls in the restaurant feel like they're slowly closing in on me.

"Oh her." I wave my hands dismissively in the air. "She's some kind of loony tune, L.A.'s full of them."

Ashley raises her eyebrow at me. It's a move I'd normally find sexy but now it just makes me squirm in my chair. "Really? Because she seemed to know you quite well."

"Who cares, I think we have other things we need to be discussing." I say hoping to avoid addressing what just happened.

Ashley's eyes fall to the table and when they come back up to meet mine I want to flee from the restaurant and her watchful gaze. "Are you gay?"

Wow, that was very blunt of her.

This really isn't how I envisioned her finding out my sexuality, nor is it the way I envisioned this night going.

Stupid Madison and her stupid big mouth. If she ruined my future with Ashley she's going to get a big dose of my foot up her ass.

"Like a two dollar hooker." I try a joke to alleviate some tension that has crept in between us but I think I told it wrong because she's not laughing and for the record neither am I.

I tilt my head ever so slightly as I take yet another sip of wine. "Uhm yeah." I'm not exactly all that keen to have this conversation when Madison has already put my defenses up but I'm not going to lie about who I am either. "Is that a problem?"

Awkward silence alert!

Why is she just staring at me?

And why are my palms starting to sweat?

"Of course it's not." She replies rather defensively but her piercing gaze tells a different story.

"Are you sure?" I ask because if she does then I have more to overcome then just her having a boyfriend.

Ashley's tenses up and she starts to tap her fingers against the table. "Why would it be a problem?"

I shrug my shoulders to appear like I don't care but inwardly I care a whole heck of a lot. "I don't know you tell me."

"Well it's not." Ashley snaps as her fingers pick up the pace.

Alrighty then, she's clearly fine with my lesbianism.

I was being sarcastic in case you couldn't tell.

I finish off my second glass of wine and the buzz it produces is not enough for me to relax or lighten up. We're clearly at an impasse and Ashley is clearly lying to me.

I decide to reach for a dinner roll at the exact same moment as Ashley, how cliché, so naturally my hand ends up on top of hers.

This is the first real contact we've had and my body jerks a little. A spark of electricity shoots through me like a lightening bolt and if that's the kind of reaction I have when only our hands touch I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have contact with other parts of her body.

I'm too busy reveling in how soft Ashley's skin feels and the warm sensations she's causing that I don't move my hand right away. I know I should have but in my defense, touching Ashley feels so damn good I don't want that feeling to ever stop.

Ashley I'm going to assume isn't too pleased with me right now because she pulls her hand back to her side so fast it makes my head spin. But that doesn't even compare to the tizzy she sends me into when I see the anger flash in her eyes.

"This was a mistake." She tells me as she pulls out her cell phone. She hits a few numbers and then puts it to her ear as she glares at me.

In a move that catches Ashley by surprise, and me as well, I snatch her phone out of her hand and turn it off.

I'm not going to deny that I want Ashley, that I want to get to know her or that in the short time she's come into my life she's made me feel something I've never felt before. No, there's no way I can deny any of that but I'm not about to sit around and have her judge me either. I have my pride and nothing gives her or anyone else for that matter the right to think less of me because I happen to want to date a woman instead of a man.

"What the hell is your problem?" Ashley bellows as she tries to get her phone out of my hand. "Give that back to me!"

"My problem?" My voice is raised but I don't care that some people are starting to stare at us. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem." Ashley fires back.

"Yes you do." I know, I bet homophobe Aiden is responsible for Ashley's apparent dislike of my gayness. Damn D.B. and his brainwashing ways!

Ashley gives up her quest to get her cell phone back so she can fold her arms across her chest. If I wasn't so mad at her I'd note that angry Ashley is hot. "No, I don't!

"Let's recap shall we." Ashley huffs and that only fuels my rage. "You return from the bathroom, find out that I'm gay and then you decide that you have to leave. Sounds like a problem to me."

"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about." Ashley is seething at this point and you know what, so am I.

Things are spiraling out of control at an unbelievable speed.

"Oh I believe I do." My blood is pumping so fast in my veins that I don't think I can stop the impending disaster that this night is turning out to be. "And you know what I don't give a rats ass if my dad or anyone else has labeled you the next big thing because what you are, Ashley Davies, is a closed minded jerk."

"Hey bellas why all the yelling?" Franco asks as he comes over to our table.

"Not now." Ashley and I reply together.

At least we're on the same page about something.

Franco scampers away allowing Ashley and I to continue our fight.

Perhaps I'm overreacting, perhaps I'm blowing this all out of proportion but the combination of my nerves, Madison's appearance and Ashley's weird reaction to finding out I'm gay have led to a perfect storm of my insecurities bubbling to the surface.

Ashley leans forward and pounds on the table to get my attention. "You don't understand Spencer…"

"No you don't understand." I shriek. I hate that I've lost control and I hate that Ashley is making me feel like this. "I know my dad wants our firm to represent you because he believes in your future but I also know that he wouldn't tolerate your attitude…"

"How dare you fling those kinds of accusations at me," Ashley yells.

This is going so badly and all my dreams for us seem to be crumbling right in front of my eyes.

I need to get out of here right now.

"Good luck in your career, Ashley, because with your bigoted view on life you're going to need it." I stand up, throw Ashley's cell phone at her and bolt from the table before I can make an even bigger fool of myself then I already have.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I reach the restaurant door and stop myself from leaving for a variety of reasons.

One, I'm in no condition to drive right now.

Two, I feel embarrassed and foolish and I really want to apologize to Ashley for blowing my top at her.

And three, I probably owe Ashley the right to defend herself.

The problem is I don't exactly know how to admit that I may be wrong. I kind of have this stubborn streak in me that works quite well in the business world but not so well in my personal life.

Ashley obviously didn't take the news of my sexuality the way I pictured she would but maybe there is another explanation for her reacting that way.

I don't know what to do and I don't quite know how to fix a mess I had a hand in creating. I'm not saying Ashley is innocent in all this but I'm also willing to accept that freaking out didn't help matters either.

Yes, yes, very mature of me I know.

I keep up my internal debate until I feel a hand tugging at mine.

"Spencer?"

She didn't even have to say anything, I knew it was Ashley the second her hand touched me.

Her voice is so soft and it sends my pulse racing like only Ashley can.

I turn around but I don't remove my hand from Ashley's because frankly I don't want to. Besides she is the one that initiated the contact so I'm hoping that means she isn't going to react badly this time.

When I'm finally face to face with Ashley my stomach drops because she's clearly upset and I'm the one who caused that for her. I want to throw my arms around her and tell her all is forgiven. Of course I don't do that because it's not appropriate and I'm a little scared as to what her reaction might be.

We have a conversation with our eyes, only I'm not sure exactly what we are saying and I think words are actually needed right now.

"I'm sorry." We both apologize simultaneously.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry." We really are on the same page because we speak at the same time again.

I can't help but laugh and neither can Ashley, which I take as a very good sign.

"I really am sorry." Ashley says on her own. "Do you think you could come back to the table so we can talk?" Her request comes out so quietly but there is definitely conviction in her voice so I nod my head and follow her.

If Ashley asked me to jump, I'd ask her how high she wanted me to and if that makes me whipped I could care less.

I am disappointed when she lets go of my hand but it would be unrealistic for me to expect her to keep holding it when there really is no logical reason for her to.

Plus, I see plenty of hand holding in our future; at least I hope there will be.

I take a seat across from Ashley and wait for her to begin.

She's not looking at me and she's playing with her napkin like it's the most fascinating thing in the world. Once more I fight the urge to run over to her and envelop her in my arms.

"I don't have any issue with your sexuality at all." Ashley is whispering and I have to strain my ears to hear her. "I just got caught off guard when that girl said that to me. I mean I was going to the washroom and never expected that to be my greeting when I returned."

"Totally understandable." I interject.

"But my reaction wasn't." Ashley replies quite strongly. She lifts her head up and her brown eyes are filled with a lot more emotion then they were a few minutes ago. "I know this isn't really an excuse but I've been all out of sorts since moving here from New York."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

She doesn't answer me right away and the intense gaze I'm receiving from her makes me wonder if I made a mistake in asking her that question.

"I've been here for almost a month and it already feels like I've been pulled in a hundred different directions." Ashley seems to be bordering on tears and that makes my heart ache even more for her. "All I want to do is play my music but there are all these expectations on me. It's like everybody wants a piece of me and I don't know who is being sincere and who is just in it for themselves."

Shoot, now I feel like an even bigger jackass because I'm one of those people she is referring to. She hopefully doesn't know that all I've thought about since meeting her is how to get her to want me but I still feel bad. I go to tell Ashley that I'm sorry but she isn't done talking.

"I have all these voices in my ear saying I should do this or I should do that and I'm having a difficult time knowing who to trust." Ashley stops playing with her napkin and all her attention is on me now. "Like I said that doesn't excuse me at all for behaving like I did and I really want you to know that I have no issue with you being gay, at all."

I'm so over that and all I care about is making sure that the remorseful girl sitting across from me is ok. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have exploded at you like I did and I shouldn't…"

Ashley doesn't let me finish, "If I were in your shoes I'd probably have reacted the same way."

"Let's just chalk this misunderstanding up to the L.A. heat and leave it at that." I offer.

Ashley smiles at me and it stops my heart from aching and makes it start racing again instead. I feel like I've just been on this huge emotional roller coaster with her, but she's worth the ride.

"Ok." She replies, allowing me to breathe normally again.

"It must be hard on you to leave your family and friends behind." I observe as I reach for the water in front of me, instead of the wine.

Ashley's eyes darken for a moment but she doesn't explain why they did. "It's not that easy and I do feel lonely at times but music is my life."

I want to ask why she feels lonely if she has Aiden but I restrain myself because the thought of bringing him into this conversation holds zero appeal to me.

"I don't want you to think I'm saying this because of what just happened but I hope you'll hear me out." I start with some trepidation. I'm not trying to manipulate Ashley and I'm going to cross my fingers that she believes me. "I can't even imagine how scary all of this must be for you. Moving across the country, having all these expectations placed on and not really knowing how to act."

I gain confidence with each word that comes out of my mouth.

"You don't know me from a hole in the ground." What is with me and dumbass expressions? "But what has made my father's company so successful is the personal attention our clients get."

Gah! That sounds like a pick up line, but it isn't I swear!

"What I mean is, we really want to work with you, not for you, if that makes any sense?" I feel flustered and not very articulate but Ashley doesn't appear bothered by my rambling.

"It does." She tells me.

"L.A. has a reputation for chewing people up and then spitting them out like yesterday's garbage and it's a reputation that is well deserved." I'm not trying to frighten Ashley more than she already is, I'm just trying to be honest. "You need to be able to trust somebody Ashley, and even though I may not have acted exactly all that sane today you can trust me."

I don't even do my heat tilt or anything, that's how much I'm not thinking about winning Ashley over right now. She really does need somebody on her side and somebody who is going to look out for her best interests.

"That's a pretty good sales pitch." Ashley says when I'm done.

I frown, "I'm not trying to…"

Apparently Ashley and I share something else in common.

Our inability to let someone finish a sentence.

"I know, I was just joking around." Ashley cuts in. "And I do trust you."

"You do?" I blurt out before I can censor myself.

It's just with everything that has happened today to hear that from her mouth is not something I expected.

Ashley nods, "When you thought I was judging you for being gay you were willing to throw away a potential deal because of what you believe in."

She got all of that from my hissy fit?

I thought I was just being a hot head.

"That says a lot about a person's character." She continues as I remain in a state of shock. "You showed me that you have convictions and that isn't something I can say about most people I've met since I've moved here."

Well, color me surprised!

"And that's why I want you to be the one to represent me." Ashley finishes with a smile.

Please don't hate me for what I'm about to do, but it's the right thing and I have to do it, no matter how much it pains me.

"That's really nice of you but truthfully, Jessie has more experience dealing with the careers of up and comers so you should probably talk to my dad about having her handle you." I explain even though I don't want to.

Ashley shakes her head, "No, I don't want Jessie, I want you." Her voice gets all raspy again and despite my earlier vow to keep things professional with her I get caught up in the moment.

"If you want me, then all you have to do is ask." I purr.

Ashley picks up her napkin and tosses it at me. "You really are one of a kind Spencer Carlin, but if that's what it's going to take for me to have you on my side then I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and do it." She lets out a throaty chuckle that is contagious.

"I'm just messing around." I say to let her and myself off the hook. "I'd be honored to be the one who navigates you through the jungle you're about to enter."

"Well that makes me feel a whole lot better." Ashley teases but I can tell that she's not upset anymore.

"You do like honesty so that's what you're going to get from me." I playfully reply.

"Speaking of honesty." Ashley says as I reach for my glass of water. "Do you really like to sleep around?" She howls with laughter as I choke on my drink and she seems pretty impressed with herself.

"That was really mean." I mutter as I wipe my face clean.

"So, bellas, is your lovers quarrel finito?" Franco asks as he comes over to our table.

I want to bash him over his head for making a joke that could make Ashley uncomfortable.

"We're good." Ashley tells him and I'm happy to report she doesn't seem weirded out by Franco's misinterpretation of our disagreement.

"Eccellente!" Franco booms making Ashley and I both smile. "Your dinner will be ready in just a few minutes."

"I want to make a toast." I announce with some flair.

"Are you sure you should be drinking more, I mean you do have to drive me home." Ashley says.

"This is important." I tell her as I pour her a drink. "Don't worry we can just grab a cab when we're done eating and I'll pick up my car on the way to the office."

"What are we toasting?" Ashley asks as she raises her glass in the air.

"To your promising career and to me being the one who's going to take you there." I reply as I tilt my head.

What?

We dealt with our fight so I don't think it's unreasonable to flirt a little.

"I'll drink to that." Ashley takes a big sip of her drink and I do as well.

The food arrives a few minutes later and for the first time since I've met Ashley I actually feel myself relax somewhat.

Maybe it's the third glass of wine I just polished off but who knows.

Now, don't you worry, I can totally hold my alcohol, honest!

Oh dear lord it feels like somebody is sitting on my head.

And not in a good way.

I try to open my eyes but I can't and that probably has to do with the shooting pain radiating through my skull.

Where the hell am I?

I manage to open one of my eyes just a tad and I am quite relieved when I see that I'm in my bedroom.

I try to sit up but I fall back on my mattress and my one arm falls on the person beside  
me.

Hold on.

Back up for a second.

There's somebody in bed with me?

"Ow, that hurt."

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

I slowly turn my head and see Ashley's brown eyes staring right at me.

What the hell happened last night and how in the world did Ashley end up in my bed?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks are in italics.

Chapter 7

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

I am freaking out!

It really seems like Ashley should be the one having heart palpitations instead of me but for whatever reason I'm having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that Ashley Davies is in my bed.

My bed!

"Morning." Ashley says like it's the most natural thing in the world. She stretches her body out and her voice is raspier than it was last night. "Sleep well?"

I scoot backwards to create some space between us and when I do my foot touches Ashley's bare leg for the briefest of moments.

Ashley's bare leg!

Oh my god!

A sense of foreboding washes over me as I work up the courage to peek under my covers. I slowly lift the covers up as I tear my eyes away from Ashley's curious brown orbs.

Ok, I was so not prepared to find myself in just my bra and underwear.

Just my bra and underwear!

I bunch the covers up as far as they can go so everything below my neck is out of sight. All right, there's no reason to get hysterical Spencer, no need at all. Just take a few deep breaths and remember, don't get hysterical.

"What are you doing in my bed?" I shriek hysterically.

Way to follow the plan dumbass.

Ashley is lying on her side and I have to say she looks mighty comfortable with her head on my pillow. If I wasn't so busy having a panic attack I would admire what a great visual this is. "Uhm, I was sleeping before you woke me up a few minutes ago."

I didn't let my eyes wander to see what Ashley was wearing or not wearing when I peeked under the covers, but I can see the top half of her body and she has on what appears to be an old t-shirt of mine. My mind simply cannot digest the scene laid out before me so I continue my nonsensical ranting, much to my dismay. "I'm half naked and you're in my bed and I'd really like an explanation from you as to why exactly that is."

Ashley looks amused, "Aren't you used to waking up with a woman beside you?"

"That's not funny." I bark.

I'm breathing rapidly and I'm almost certain that I'm going to start to hyperventilate any minute now.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you'd be so upset this morning." Ashley replies softly. "Don't you remember anything about last night?"

I grip the covers tightly as I try to recall the events of the previous evening. "I remember being at the restaurant with you and enjoying a great meal." I close my eyes but nothing comes back to me. "That's about it." I wonder why Ashley seems relieved.

"So you really don't remember last night at all?" She questions again.

Thank goodness I put on a decent bra and matching underwear when I got dressed yesterday.

"No I don't." I snap and instantly regret it. It's not Ashley's fault that I'm suffering from temporary amnesia.

"You're bananas." Ashley quips and then she laughs.

I peel my eyes open so I can glare at her but I forget all about that when I see her nose crinkling.

Damn her for being so cute and damn her for having a nose crinkle that puts me under some sort of spell.

It's like my Kryptonite.

"Are you making fun of me?" I pout in what I hope is an adorable way.

"Maybe just a little." She smirks. "I thought that might jog your memory."

Huh?

How can calling me bananas jog my…

In a flash everything comes rushing back to me.

Ashley is dragging me through the lobby of my apartment building and I have my arms draped around her neck for support.

Oh right and I'm completely wasted.

It's not my fault though, Franco kept coming back with more wine and Ashley was only nursing her drink so it was my duty as a loyal customer not to insult him.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"You don't have to help me inside. I'm perfectly fine." I insist even though my legs feel extremely wobbly.

"Sure you are." Ashley deadpans and I don't think she believes me.

"I so am." I say as I try to stand up on my own. My legs buckle but Ashley manages to catch me before I land on the ground. "My hero!" I gush as she balances me in her arms.

Ashley chuckles in that throaty way that makes my insides quiver. "You're probably overstating just a little bit, but regardless, you're welcome."

"No I'm not." I tell her in the most serious voice I can muster. Not an easy task seeing as I'm three sheets to the wind. "You're like the bestest person I have ever met."

"Thanks." Ashley says as she hauls me towards my apartment. "Where are your keys?"

I'm not done fawning over her. "I have a confession to make." I wish I had my filter working right now but apparently the ungodly amount of alcohol I consumed disabled it. "I think you are soooooo hot!" I run my fingers down Ashley's face once I've finished complimenting her.

"Uhm, thanks?" Ashley doesn't sound flattered by my observation, not that I blame her or anything. She reaches for my purse and busies herself with finding my keys while I continue to make a complete ass out of myself.

"Like on a scale from one to ten." I begin as I rest my head on her shoulder. I should note that Ashley smells amazing. I think about asking her what perfume she's wearing but I don't because I'm too caught up in admiring her. "One being a guy and ten being Angelina Jolie, I think you're a fifteen." I giggle at my wit. "I guess I do like to rate things after all."

Ashley's face is hidden from my line of sight because her head is buried in my purse but something tells me I made her blush. "That's, uh, so nice of you to say."

"Do you think I'm hot?" I ask despite how wrong I know the question is.

Ashley finally looks at me and I can see conflict written all across her face. "Spencer…"

"You think I'm ugly!" I reply in an incredibly whiny voice. "This sucks."

"I don't think you're ugly." Ashley assures me.

"Please don't lie to me." I am pouting and somewhere in my head I'm also telling myself to shut the hell up.

"It's not like she'll remember this in the morning anyways." Ashley mumbles under her breath, probably not something she intended to say out loud. She puts two fingers under my chin and tilts my head up so we're eye to eye.

Can I just say…wow! I'm almost sure that I've never seen anyone look as intense as Ashley looks this second.

"I probably shouldn't be saying this to you but I think you're gorgeous Spencer." Her voice is soft and she sounds so sincere.

I would love to say that Ashley's words are enough to sober me up, but they aren't. I want to ask her why she shouldn't have said that to me, however, something else comes out instead. "That is so freaking awesome." I start hooting and hollering and the only reason I'm not doing a happy dance is that would involve letting go of Ashley and I have no desire to do that.

"Keep your voice down." Ashley orders. "You're going to wake up your neighbors."

"Okee dokee." I slur. "I'll be as quiet as a mouse." I start giggling again and that makes Ashley shake her head.

"Here we go." Ashley says and when I look away from her I notice that she got my front door open. "Let's get you inside." I'm half walking, half getting dragged into my apartment and once Ashley shuts the door she tosses my keys and purse on the ground. I'm about to yell at her because nobody but nobody messes with my Coach purse but I stop myself because I don't think that would be very nice of me. "Where's your bedroom?"

"I'm about to get lucky." I squeal as I pull away from her. "I knew I was good but not that good."

Ashley laughs and I can't really tell if she's laughing at me or with me because I'm laughing too. "Not quite, but I really do think you need to get some sleep."

I stomp my feet like a child, "I don't wanna go to sleep, I'm not tired!" Ashley rolls her eyes. "Can you sing me a song? I've never heard you sing and that would be so awesome if you did."

"It's really getting late." Ashley replies and she doesn't look all that impressed with me, but I'm not one to give up so easily.

"Please Ashley, please sing me a song." I fall to my knees and grab on to her jeans. "I know, I know, lets do a duet together." I look up at Ashley and smile. "They say we're young and we don't know, we won't find out until we grow." Ashley remains silent even though it's her turn. "Don't tell me you haven't heard of this song before, it's a classic!"

Ashley gives me a look as if to say, "What am I going to do with you?" so I tilt my head. "I know the words but I really, really, really think it's a good idea for you to sleep it off."

I ignore her of course and jump to my feet. "Fine, don't sing with me, I'll just do both parts." I grab both of Ashley's hands and swing her around. "Well I don't know if all that's true, cause you got me and baby I got you." I'm singing at the top of my lungs. "Babe, I got you babe, I got you babe."

Ashley manages to free herself from my grasp, "That was great Spencer, but maybe you should let me take you to your room now."

"No, I'll be good." I'm so not ready for this night to be over, especially with Ashley probably thinking I'm some sort of crazy person. That's when I come up with a very bright idea, if I do say so myself. I decide I have to do something dramatic to get Ashley to forget everything I've done up until this point.

What could possibly go wrong?

I drop to the ground again, but this time I'm only on one knee.

Yeah, I'd cover my eyes if I was watching this too.

I'd love to say that I was able to prevent the next six words from escaping my big mouth, but sadly, I cannot.

I clasp Ashley's left hand between both of mine and grin idiotically as I gaze up at her.

"What are you doing?" Ashley asks. Her eyes widen but I really don't think she knows what's coming next.

"Ashley Davies, will you marry me?" I dazzle her with a toothy grin and of course I follow up my question with a head tilt.

Hopefully that's Ashley's Kryptonite.

Ashley opens her mouth to respond but being the drunken moron that I am right now I talk over her.

"I'd make a great wife Ashley." Somebody please shoot me. "I'd wake you up every morning with kisses and breakfast in bed." Or tape my mouth shut at the very least. "I'll hold you when you're sad, wipe away all your tears when you cry, laugh with you when you're happy, celebrate your successes with you and tell you I love you so often you'd get sick of hearing it." It's strange, I'm having what I guess you could call an out of body experience. I can see myself saying all these things to Ashley like in a movie and yet I can't get my lips to stop moving. "Plus, and this is a very important point, I'm a total animal in the sack."

I really don't deserve to live.

Shock of all shocks, I've managed to render Ashley speechless.

"Don't give me your answer yet." I say as I stand back up. I push Ashley backwards and she lands on my couch exactly like I planned. "Let me show you what I'm talking about."

I stumble over to my stereo and turn on the last song I was listening to before I went out.

Despite the fact that I don't exactly know what a 'Hollaback Girl' is, it is a song I've danced to when I'm alone quite a few times.

But now I have an audience, and I'm going to knock her socks off.

And mine too.

Except I'm not wearing socks.

That's not going to stop Spencer Carlin though.

Oh yeah, you're not wrong, even though I wish you were.

I make my way back to Ashley and when I see her stand up, I forcibly shove her back down.

I wag my finger at her, "This show is for you, so you have to watch."

"Spencer…"

I fling my shoe off my foot so it lands right by Ashley's feet, then I do the same thing with my other shoe.

"I ain't no hollaback girl." I sing along as I unbutton my blouse. "I ain't no hollaback girl."

Ashley's eyes bulge out of her head, rightfully so.

I gyrate my hips and once my shirt is undone I whip it off and toss it in Ashley's direction.

It hits her in the head.

I turn around, stick out my butt and then shake it right in Ashley's face.

I do every dance move I know and about halfway through the song I realize that my pants have to go as well.

"Holy shit." Ashley exclaims as I unzip my trousers.

"I ain't no hollaback girl." I bellow. I'm staring right at Ashley as I slide my pants down to my ankle. "I ain't no hollaback girl."

I think the reason Ashley hasn't moved is because my performance is so amazing and she finds me incredibly sexy.

I'm that drunk, that I actually believe my own lie.

I jump out of my pants and surprisingly don't trip.

"This shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s." I scream. "This shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s."

And that's when I make the ultimate move.

I jump in Ashley's lap and fling my arms around her body.

"Time for a lap dance." I purr.

Ashley goes slack jawed as I bounce up and down on her legs.

I'm trashed, half-naked and making a fool out of myself in front of the one person I want to impress more than anything.

It couldn't possibly get any worse.

Right?

Wrong.

I look deep into Ashley's brown eyes, "I love you Ashley."

And that's the last thing I remember.

"…so I carried you in here and put you to bed." Ashley finishes.

She's spent the last few minutes giving me a very censored version of what happened last night without knowing that I remembered everything on my own.

I can't believe she's even speaking to me.

"I was going to crash on the couch but I was worried that you'd be sick in the middle of the night so I grabbed a shirt and pair of shorts and slept here." She explains. "I hope you don't mind?"

I pull the covers right over my head and pray to whoever might be listening that this is all a bad dream.

I have never been more humiliated and embarrassed in all my life.

There's no way I can recover from this, no way!

"Spencer." Ashley says but in keeping with my brand new vow of silence I don't respond. "Spencer, don't be embarrassed."

"Spencer isn't home right now." I tell her from under the sheets. "Please leave a message and she'll get back to you as soon as possible." Wow, I kept my vow of silence for about three seconds, must be some kind of record. "Beep."

Ashley shakes my shoulder, "You were drunk, it's ok."

It's so not ok, not even close to being ok.

"I'll tell you what, I'll get dressed and meet you in the living room in a few minutes. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, sure, uh-huh, yuppers, sounds like a plan, Stan." I reply like an idiot.

I hear Ashley rustling around and for a split second I contemplate watching her get dressed but I know she'd catch me with my luck.

"See you in a few." Ashley says before she leaves.

When I hear the door close I wait a few seconds to make sure she's not tricking me into believing she's gone. After I'm convinced I'm alone in my room I throw my covers off, grab the pillow that Ashley was sleeping on, and bash myself over the head with it.

How could I be so stupid?

And to make matters worse, I just caught a glimpse of the time.

10:15.

I am so late for work, my dad is going to kill me.

I replay the night's events in my mind a second time.

Wait a tick.

Ashley thinks I'm gorgeous.

She took care of me.

And she tried to comfort me this morning so I wouldn't feel bad.

Maybe there's hope for us after all.

I hug my knees to my chest and that's when it hits me.

I've known Ashley for exactly twenty-four hours.

It's our one-day anniversary!

And what a day it was.

I fell flat on my face when we first met.

I asked her out on a sort of date.

She found out I'm gay.

We had our first fight.

We made up.

I got drunk as a skunk.

Ashley looked after me.

I serenaded her…twice.

I proposed to her.

I stripped for her.

I gave her a lap dance.

I told her I love her.

We shared a bed.

She lied to protect my feelings.

And she's downstairs right now waiting to talk to me.

Wow, if all that happened after only knowing Ashley for one day, I can't even begin to imagine what the rest of our days together will be like.

I hope this doesn't sound like an ending, because it's not.

What this is my friends, is just the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song #1 - I got you babe - Sonny and Cher  
> Song #2 - Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Damage control.

I'm in serious need of some.

To say that the idea of facing Ashley right now makes me want to vomit more than the alcohol I consumed last night would be a gigantic understatement.

The way I see it though, there's clearly two choices laid out before me.

One, stay in my room until Ashley gets the hint and leaves my apartment so I don't have look at her and remember all the cringe worthy things I did last night

Or two, gather up the last shred of dignity that I'm clinging to and show Ashley that even though I'm mortified beyond belief, being with her is worth confronting my own embarrassment.

Some people might say I should give up now before I do anything else stupid.

I would tell those people to take a long walk off a short pier.

My dad always tells me that I have gumption; it's time to prove him right.

I have a few different fires to put out but I also have a raging headache, not a good combination.

I decide to tackle that problem first. I make a beeline for my bathroom and scrounge around until I find the big bottle of Aspirin I keep for occasions just like this one.

Not that I drink like a lush a lot or anything.

After downing three pills and brushing my teeth, I do feel just a smidgen better. With my mind coming back into focus, I grab my Blackberry so I can tackle issue number two.

That is until I get another flash of me giving Ashley a lap dance and the horrified expression on her face.

I swallow away my mortification as best I can as I press number three on my speed dial.

"Oh my god, where in the tarnation are you?" Tarnation? Jessie isn't even from the south, I guess she's really taking the no swearing thing seriously. "And more importantly you so owe me for covering for you with your dad."

"Good morning to you too." I whisper in case Ashley can hear me.

"Why are you whispering?" Jessie asks. I go to respond but my dear friend is too excited to let me get a word in edge wise. "Man, your dad was so pissed when you didn't show up for work today. He was ranting and raving about how irresponsible you are but thanks to my quick thinking I got you out of the doghouse. Aren't I the best?"

I roll my eyes even though Jessie can't see me. "Yes, you are so incredibly amazing I thank god everyday for bringing you into my life."

"You are such a bi…" Damn almost had her! "Witch. After we hang up I'm going to march into your dad's office to tell him that you blew off work and that meeting I told him you were attending was just a big lie."

I so don't have the time or the patience to deal with Jessie's theatrics right now. "I'm sorry, very sorry." I tell her in my most sincere voice. "And I really appreciate you covering for me, you're a great friend."

"Darn tootin' I am." Jessie replies, she's such a sucker for flattery. "So, can I assume your meeting with Ashley went well last night and that's why you're extremely late for work today?"

Oh, how very wrong she is.

Like on scale from one to ten, one being…gah, enough with the freaking rating of things Spencer, focus!

"I don't have time to explain, I just wanted to call and see how much trouble I was in and thanks to you, I'm not in any." Fire number two has been put out, on to fire number three. "I'll call you back in a little while to explain what happened." Jessie starts ranting and raving about how she needs details and how mean I am for not providing her with some. I can't listen to her incessant chatter anymore so I thank her a third time for lying for me and then I disconnect the call.

Not really the nicest thing I could have done, but it was necessary.

I know my friend well enough to know that she's dialing my number right this second to yell at me some more so I put my Blackberry on vibrate and take my land line off the hook.

Whew, now onto more important things, Ashley and what to wear.

I rummage through my closet and after a few minutes decide just to throw on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It really is best to look casual when you're about to face the firing squad.

I check myself out in the mirror before I exit my bedroom to ensure I don't have anything hanging from my nose or any hideous marks on me that would cause another round of embarrassment that I don't need.

Then, I open the door and take a few deep, cleansing breaths.

My stomach is buzzing with nerves but outwardly I try my best to appear calm so when Ashley sees me she won't notice what a wreck I really feel like.

My bare feet pad across my hardwood floors and even though I think I'm being all stealth, Ashley turns around and looks directly at me.

She's sitting on my couch not really doing anything but staring at what I hope is my smiling face.

That's ok though, the little pep talk I gave myself seems to be working and despite the fact that I have no right whatsoever to feel any sort of confidence, I do.

As I strut towards my brunette goddess I feel like John Travolta at the beginning of Saturday Night Fever and I can almost hear Stayin' Alive playing in my head. My hips swivel with each step I take and Ashley can't take her eyes off of me.

Sexy Spencer is back and she's back with a vengeance.

I'm almost at the couch and that's when I decide to run my fingers through my hair to finish off my performance.

That's right Ashley, you have no hope in resisting me when I'm so…

Remember when Ashley tossed my very expensive Coach purse on the floor last night and remember how I wanted to hurt her for it?

Well it's too bad I didn't because as I speak I'm tripping over said purse and heading straight for the ground.

My body hits the floor and the sound it makes echoes through my quiet apartment very loudly.

I let out a scream of agony after my forehead collides with floor but that's not really where I hurt the most, it's my pride that takes the biggest beating.

You know I probably could have dealt with the humiliation of last night by playing the drunk card and I'm sure that I could have put the whole mess behind me.

Not now though, this is worse, so much worse that I don't have the energy or the inclination to pursue Ashley any longer.

I mean really, how can I even entertain the prospect of there being something between us when I keep doing one asinine thing after the other? Maybe it was funny before but I'm not laughing right now and all I want to do is crawl back in bed and never leave.

I'm usually so sure of myself around girls and yet with Ashley every instinct I've had has been wrong, every move I've tried to put on her has backfired and somehow I keep ending up with my face planted on the floor with her watching me do it.

I officially give up.

Now all I need to do is not move and wait for Ashley to run out of my apartment so I can get on with the rest of my life.

Ashley does run, but not out the door, instead she runs over to me.

"Oh my god." She exclaims once her knees hit the floor. "Are you ok?"

No, I'm not. My head is throbbing, my ankle hurts and more than that I just want her to go.

Can you believe that after all my earlier bravado, I'm actually wishing for Ashley to leave?

Yeah, me either.

She violently shakes my shoulders and when she speaks I hear panic in her voice. "Spencer, Spencer, can you hear me?" Another shake of my shoulders yields her no response. "Shit, Spencer, answer me." I don't. "Fuck, please be ok, Spencer." She truly sounds concerned about my well being and I feel sort of bad that she thinks I'm passed out or knocked out."

"I'm fine." I tell her without moving.

"Don't you ever do that again." She shouts before she slaps me across the back. "I thought you were really hurt."

Normally, I'd make some sort of quip about how I like the rough side of Ashley but I feel so incredibly defeated and all I want is to be left alone.

"Sorry." I mumble. "You can go."

Oh god, I think I'm going to cry.

"Don't be ridiculous, I want to make sure you're ok." Ashley replies and she still sounds pissed at me.

Great, above everything else I've done, I've also gone and made Ashley angry.

If she doesn't get out of here soon I'm going to lose it completely.

"Seriously, I'm fine." I assure her.

"And seriously I'm not leaving until I can be the judge of that." She is being so forceful at a time when I wish she wouldn't be.

Ashley somehow manages to drag me over to my couch and I somehow manage to avoid making eye contact with her.

I study the floor like it's the most fascinating thing I have ever seen but it would seem Ashley will have none of that.

She kneels in front of me, between my legs and when her hand lands on my thigh I almost give in and look at her. "Come on Spence." Spence? That's new. "Don't feel bad." She whispers. For the second time since I met Ashley she puts two fingers under my chin and guides my head up so I can't do anything but meet her eyes with mine. Only this time I'm sober and when our eyes connect I search hers for any sign of pity but all I see is concern. "Christ, you're bleeding."

I slump my shoulders. I'm a clumsy, singing, proposing, stripping, lap dancing idiot who's now injured to boot.

Ashley's fingers graze my wound making me wince. "I'm sorry." She says and her eyes won't leave mine alone.

I still can't understand why she hasn't made a hasty exit. I know I would have if the roles were reversed.

That's a total lie, but that still doesn't explain Ashley's attitude when she hasn't shown even the slightest interest in me.

"It's no big deal." I attempt to move but Ashley won't let me. "Fine, it hurts a little but you don't have to stick around." I know I sound pathetic and that's exactly how I feel. "Really, I can take care of myself and I understand completely if you want to back out of our deal." I only have to be strong for a few more minutes and then I can wallow in my misery when I'm alone.

"What are you talking about?" Ashley asks as her eyes go from concerned to confused.

I sigh, "I'm trying to do the right thing here. I won't blame you or anything because you have every right to want someone else to represent you." There, I said it, now it's time for Ashley to vamoose.

Ashley grabs my thigh a bit tighter and I will myself not to react to her touch. "You must have really hit your head harder than I thought if that's what you think I want."

Oh no, my emotions are bubbling to the surface and I'm having difficulty controlling them. "Whatever, it's fine."

"It's not fine." Ashley snaps. "I meant what I said last night Spence." There she goes again, saying my name like that. Why does she have to do things that make it hard for me to walk away from her? "I do want you to represent me and I was hoping for more than just a business relationship with you."

Whoa.

What?

My ears must have broken when I fell because there's no other rational explanation for what came out of Ashley's mouth.

Could it be possible that even after everything I did she wants…

"I really think we could be good friends." She finishes.

Friends.

Ashley wants to be friends with me.

Friends, with benefits?

I don't ask her that though, thankfully.

Maybe being friends with her isn't such a bad thing…for now.

It will give me a chance to get to know her before I seduce her.

Ok, ok, I know I have no right to be having those thoughts but Ashley's hand is moving slowly up and down my thigh and her eyes have taken on a smoldering quality that sends my heart racing.

"You want to be friends with me?" I ask bashfully as I chew on my bottom lip.

"Yeah, I do." She replies almost breathlessly.

The intensity level between us has shot up considerably I might add.

"Why?" I probably should have censored myself but part of me needs to know the answer. "You don't think I'm some sort of freak?"

Ashley chuckles softly but she stops when she sees that I'm being serious. "Of course not." She moves the hand that isn't touching my thigh to my cheek and cups it.

Be still my beating heart.

"Really?" I want to kiss her so bad right now.

"Well, you certainly are entertaining to have around." Ashley teases but she's not being malicious about it and despite myself, I laugh along with her. "Seriously though, I think you're nice, sweet and very easy to talk to."

If I had any chance of not falling under Ashley's spell before, I certainly don't stand a chance now.

I'm still not a hundred percent convinced that she's not feeling sorry for me though, but I'm willing to let that issue go if she keeps touching me and gazing at me like she is.

"Even though I can't hold my liquor and even though I keep falling down?"

"Even though you can't hold your liquor and even though you keep falling down." Ashley clarifies.

I think I finally understand everything.

It's the moments where I was myself that Ashley likes, not the moments where I was trying to impress her, or woo her.

Quite the realization if I do say so myself.

"So, what do you say, friends?" Ashley asks. She is so cute and adorable, I almost can't stand it.

"Friends." I reply as I nod my head.

I do believe it's time to show Ashley more of who I really am versus the me who I think will amaze her.

"Good. And as your friend, I really think you should let me clean that cut of yours for you." Ashley smiles, nose crinkle included!

"Oh great," I roll my eyes, "you're going to be one of those demanding friends that always has to have their way."

"Pretty much." Ashley teases. "I'm pushy like that."

She's so sassy…I love it! "Fine." I groan over dramatically. "There's a first aid kit under the sink in my kitchen."

Ashley looks at me in triumph and I roll my eyes again. Our bantering is so light and devoid of any tension. She gets up and walks into the kitchen, which means of course that she's not touching me anymore but I'm not that upset.

Ashley doesn't think I'm a total spazz.

She still wants me to represent her.

She wants to be friends with me.

That means we'll get to spend a lot of time together.

Who knows what'll happen when we do?

Oh, the possibilities!

Ashley returns with the first aid kit and kneels in front of me again. "I don't think the cut is too deep that it needs stitches but I do think it's a good idea to clean it out."

"Ok." I would pretty much agree to anything she asks of me.

She pours some antiseptic on a gauze pad before she turns her attention back to me. "Now, this might sting a little."

"That's ok, I have a high tolerance for pain." I boast.

Ashley dabs my wound and it stings so bad I can't help but cry out in utter agony.

Damn, that hurts!

"Very high tolerance." She smirks.

I'm about to make a smart remark, because I can't really go two seconds without making one, when Ashley leans in and blows gently on my cut.

"That should help with the pain." Ashley whispers and then she lets out another gush of warm air.

I know there's nothing behind her gesture besides wanting to make me feel better.

Is it wrong though, that it turns me on just a bit?

Although to be fair, I think Ashley could sneeze and I'd find it sexy.

"Thanks." I say after she puts a band-aid on my forehead. She moves back and that's when my mouth runs away from me again. "Aren't you going to kiss it better?"

Stupid mouth!

Stupid, can't control, always says the wrong thing…

Ashley doesn't look down at me, but she does press her lips very gently over the band-aid.

My heart does a little dance.

It's amazing what an affect she can have on me by doing something so seemingly innocent.

Ashley moves back down so we're eye level. "How's that?"

"Much, much better." I gush.

So much for playing it cool.

We end up in a staring contest that I didn't know we had entered.

It gets broken when her phone beeps.

Ashley opens up her phone and sighs. "Sorry, that's Aiden, he's outside waiting for me, I better go."

Oh, D.B., I almost forgot about you.

I guess she called him while I was getting dressed.

What I need to do now is not appear pissed off.

"I understand, not a problem at all." Hey, go me! I actually did something right.

Ashley puts everything in the first aid kit and I'm about to tell her not to worry, I'll take care of everything when she gets up and disappears back into the kitchen.

I do get a nice view of her ass when she goes.

Spencer, so not the time!

"Let me walk you out." I say to Ashley as I stand up.

"You sure you can handle that Spence without getting injured?" Ashley jokes.

Ashley Davies that was just mean!

And a little funny.

I roll my eyes and then playfully nudge her with my shoulder. "Oh how very droll of you Ash."

Hey, if she can shorten my name, I can shorten hers as well.

"Thanks, I thought so too." She nudges me back and we both start laughing.

"I can tell being friends with you is going to be very interesting." I say as I open my front door.

I manage to do that without knocking myself in the head…go me again!

Ashley winks at me, "I'd like to think so."

I'm not quite ready for her to leave just yet.

"You know," I start as Ashley enters the hallway. "I never did hear you sing last night, doesn't really seem fair considering that's your career choice."

Ashley whirls around so fast I hope she didn't get whiplash. "You remember what happened last night?"

"Only bits and pieces." I lie. I really don't want to lie but I also don't want things to get awkward again. "Not too much."

Ashley breathes a big sigh of relief, "Well I'm sure one day you'll get your memory back."

I tilt my head, "Yeah, one day."

"If you're not busy tomorrow I have a session in the studio, you can come by if you're free." Ashley says.

I don't care if I had plans tomorrow, which I don't, they would so be canceled.

"That's sounds great." I reply with a smile.

"Cool." She reaches into her back pocket, pulls out a card and hands it to me. "This is the address, come by around three o'clock."

"I'll be there." I assure her. "With bells on." I add for good measure.

Ashley chuckles, "Later Spence."

"Later Ash." I grin one more time and then she turns around and walks down the hall.

I lean against the door frame so I can watch her go.

She's at the elevator and just as she's about to press the down button she turns back around.

I jump because I've gotten caught staring at her but instead of freaking out I simply wave my hand as if to say there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing.

Ashley waves back and even though she's down the hall I see her smiling very widely.

I head back into my apartment and after I've closed the door, I lean back against it.

Ok, so that ended a lot better than it started.

I close my eyes and remember what it was like to have Ashley's hand on my cheek and her lips against my forehead.

As I slide down the door, with a goofy grin on my face, I know that tomorrow cannot come quick enough.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I spend fifteen minutes basking in all things Ashley before I pick myself off the floor and head back to my bedroom.

I really, really don't feel like going into work today.

It's already 11:30, the day is half over and honestly I want some time to go over everything that's happened since my fateful encounter with the girl of my dreams.

I do realize that there will be plenty of cringe worthy moments that won't be so fun to relive but I'm willing to sacrifice my ego for Ashley, that's how much she's gotten under my skin.

It's hard to fathom that someone who I've known for just over a day already possesses so many of my thoughts, but she does and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Although I don't want to go into work, I also don't want to be alone either.

I grab my Blackberry and flop on my bed so I can call Jessie.

I'm about to dial her number when I remember what it was like to see Ashley awake, in my bed, beside me.

Damn, I'm in so deep with her that I can't even think straight.

Not that I've thought straight in years mind you.

I shake my head to dispel Ashley from there momentarily and that's when I notice I missed seventeen calls from my friend.

I hope she's not mad at me.

"Spencer Carlin I can't believe you left me hanging like that." Jessie yells so loud when she picks up the line that I have to hold the phone away from my ear. "That was unnecessarily cruel on your part."

I let out a little giggle at what my response is going to be. "I'm sorry but I had to see Ashley out the door, you know after we spent the night together."

Dead silence.

I can be so evil sometimes.

"Oh my goodness gracious." Jessie shrieks. "You mean to tell me that you got Ashley to sleep with you? Damn Carlin I'm impressed."

"Well, not exactly." I reply as I roll over to the side of the bed that Ashley slept on. Her scent is everywhere and it's intoxicating. "But she did spend the night in my bed."

"Don't hold out on me girl, I need details." Jessie demands. "My love life is lacking right now."

I put my head on the pillow Ashley used. "Does that mean you finally ended things with Laura?"

Jessie emits a very audible sigh. "Yeah, I broke up with her last night."

"How'd she take it?" I ask as I contemplate getting back under the covers, just for a little bit.

"Not very well, but enough about my pathetic situation, dish." She orders.

"I have a better idea, why don't you make up some excuse and come spend the afternoon with me." Plus, I still have to get my car and it will be a lot easier if Jessie drives me there later to pick it up. I'm going to keep that to myself until the right moment though. "It's been a while since we've spent quality time together."

That's because Laura kept Jessie on a very tight leash.

I never liked her at all but I kept my opinion to myself because I'm that good of a friend.

Ok, I may have slipped a comment in here and there but in my defense I was only looking out for Jessie's best interest. Laura is one brick short of a load if you catch my drift.

"That's a great idea, a true girls day." Jessie says very enthusiastically. "I'll be there in half an hour."

I wonder what reason she's going to give my dad for leaving.

That reminds me, I should probably ask her for more details about the meeting she made up to explain my absence this morning.

I get the information I need from Jessie before I hang up with her.

I decide to send my dad an email letting him know about Ashley signing with us instead of calling him directly. He can always tell when I'm lying and I really have no desire for any more drama in my life.

Once I'm done that I hop in the shower. That way, when Jessie arrives I'll be refreshed and ready to pour over all my wonderful Ashley details with her.

My ability to put a good spin on a bad situation is one of the reasons I'm so successful in the P.R. world. It shouldn't be surprising then that I use those same skills in my personal life as well.

I have many skills actually.

I can juggle for one.

As for my other skills, well, I don't want to brag or anything so I think I'll keep those to myself thank you very much.

I come back into my room after cleaning myself from head to toe and after a brief but very satisfying encounter with my removable shower head.

What?

Don't judge.

It's not like I'm the only one who does that sort of thing.

Anyway, while I was in the shower, my dad replied to my email. He congratulated me on a job well done and he also mentioned that he was very proud of me.

Ha! Guess he'll have to apologize for calling me irresponsible.

Oh right, I did sleep in and I am playing hooky for the day.

Whatever, I landed Ashley as a client and I had a very stressful night so I deserve a break.

Great, now I feel like a Kit Kat.

I send back a very modest message saying how I learned from the best, the best being him of course before I get dressed.

I've just gotten my shirt over my head when I hear the front door of my apartment open.

Don't worry, I'm not getting robbed or anything, Jessie has a key.

"Spence where are you?" She shouts.

"I'll be out in a minute." I shout back.

"I hope you're hungry because I stopped on the way and got us some food." Jessie rocks! I'm starved. "And I picked you up Starbucks as well." I swear if I wasn't already over the moon about Ashley I might consider giving Jessie another shot.

"You are so in my good books." I tell her as I exit my room.

"Thanks babe, I try." Jessie has one hand on her hip as she strikes a pose. "I should tell you that…"

"You better not have started without me." Glen exclaims as he bursts through the door.

"I brought Glen with." Jessie finishes. "I hope you don't mind but he was in my office when you called and he insisted that he tag along for our girls afternoon."

Glen claps his hands together, "Can we do facials?"

I roll my eyes affectionately at him, "You are such a girl."

"One of us has to be." He teases as he engulfs me in a giant bear hug.

"Put me down right now." I demand but instead of listening to me, Glen squeezes his arms around me even tighter. "Let me go!"

"Not until you say the magic word." Glen tells me.

I try to break the hold he has on me with no success. "Please." I say when I've given up.

"That's not the magic word." Glen smirks. "You have to say, 'Glen, you are a man among men and I will never call you a girl again." He giggles. Right, that's really manly of him. "I just rhymed, I'm such a poet." No, you're a dork, but I love him anyway.

I grab Glen's ear and tug on it so hard he cries out in pain.

Guess he's not such a tough guy after all.

"You're so mean." Glen grumbles after he releases me from his grasp.

I shove him backwards, playfully of course. "You started it."

"Enough you two." Jessie says as she steps in between Glen and me. "I didn't come over here to watch you guys bicker."

"Ok mom." I joke, earning a laugh from Glen and a glare from Jessie.

I grab the Starbucks out of her hand and the two of them follow me to my couch. "Oh man I really needed that." I remark after taking a big gulp.

"Who cares about how good your coffee is, you have to spill on what happened with Ashley." Jessie says as she sits on the ground in front of me. Glen sits beside her and the two of them are watching me like hawks. "Actually you can start by explaining your injury?"

My injury?

When did I get injured?

"The band-aid on your head." Jessie explains when I don't answer immediately.

Oh yeah, that.

You know, I was all gung-ho about going over every detail with Jessie about my night with Ashley, but now I'm not so sure.

What if I'm better off just keeping everything to myself? They're probably going to make fun of me, not that I'd blame them or anything.

I should point out that my reluctance to open up isn't because Glen's here.

Glen and Jessie are my two best friends, the people I feel most comfortable with and I guess if I can't trust them with the details of my humiliation, who can I trust?

Jessie snaps her fingers, "Yo Spence, wake up."

"Sorry, sorry." I reply as I take another sip of coffee.

Ok, I made my decision, I'm going to tell them everything.

Yes, everything.

It's the only way I can get their opinions on what might be going on in Ashley's head.

Well, I'm not going to ask Ashley myself. That idea has the potential to be very dangerous.

The food is forgotten for the moment as I regale Jessie and Glen with the events of the previous night and this morning.

I don't leave any details out.

Not one single itty bitty detail.

I'm animated, self-effacing and damn entertaining if I do say so myself.

The more I get into my story the better I feel.

I really don't believe that what occurred in the last twenty-four hours is as bad as I originally thought.

That is until I finish talking.

I wait for a response from my audience but one is not forthcoming.

Jessie and Glenn are just staring at me with their mouths hanging open and both of them are sporting very dazed expressions on their faces.

"Uhm that's about it." I say after a couple of minutes of them just gawking at me.

Still nothing.

I wave my hand in front of their eyes. "Hey guys, you ok?"

Jessie and Glen slowly turn towards each other and then their focus comes back to me.

"Do I have something on my face?" I ask as I rub my hand across my nose.

They don't say a word.

The two of them are seriously starting to freak me out.

All of a sudden Jessie springs to her feet and then Glen does as well.

What the heck?

"I ain't no hollaback girl." Jessie sings.

"I ain't no hollaback girl." Glen echoes.

Jessie starts dancing around, "I ain't no hollaback girl."

Glen, being the follower that he is, dances too. "I ain't no hollaback girl."

And then the two of them collapse to the ground in hysterical, loud, out of control laughter.

"Ha-ha, very funny." I groan but they aren't paying any attention to me.

They're both clutching their stomachs and I see tears rolling down Jessie's face.

Is it really that bad?

Never mind, I don't want to know.

"Ok, ok, I get it, you guys can stop laughing now." I say as I lay down on the couch and fold my arms.

"Oh my god that's the funniest thing I've ever heard." Jessie breathes out.

"I think I'm going to pee in my pants." Glen says as gets up from the ground.

My cheeks are burning and the regret I feel at sharing my tale is only surpassed by the many regrets I have over my time with Ashley.

"I ain't no hollaback girl." Jessie whispers, causing the two of them to start laughing again.

"I hate you both." I whine as cover my head with a nearby pillow.

"Don't be like that Spence." Jessie tries to grab the pillow from my hand but there's no way she's getting it from me. "We were only having a little fun."

"Yeah, we were laughing with you, not at you." Glen chimes in.

"I wasn't laughing you ass." I reply and even though my voice is muffled somewhat by the pillow I know they heard me. "Tell the truth, how bad is it?" I ask when I work up the nerve to sit back up. I have the pillow on my lap and I'm playing with the edge of the material as I await what their response.

"Let's put it this way." Glen starts. "One a scale from one to ten, one being…" Oh, that's where I get the need to rate things from.

Jessie elbows Glen to shut him up. "Do you really want the truth or do you want the answer that will make you feel better?"

Tough choice.

"The truth." I tell her. I close my eyes and brace myself for what Jessie is going to say to me.

"I think that you made an absolute fool out of yourself." Jessie begins.

What a fucking bitch.

Harsh much?

She could have been a bit gentler with me.

"But…"

Oh, she's not done yet.

And there's a 'but'.

I love buts.

Especially Ashley's butt.

What I wouldn't give to see her naked butt.

Shoot, I really have to stop getting distracted.

"I also think that whatever you're feeling, Ashley is too." Jessie finishes.

I take everything back. She's not a bitch, she's a doll.

"Oh yeah totally." Glen agrees.

Huh?

"Are you guys sure you heard my whole story?" I ask in bewilderment.

Maybe I'm not the only delusional person in the room.

Jessie rolls her eyes, "Yeah dumbass we did."

I refuse to believe what either one of them. "You guys are nuts."

"Listen Spence, there's no way a girl is going to stick around after your performance if she isn't crushing on you as well." Jessie reaches for the food but I swat her hand away.

"If you really were listening, you'd remember the part where Ashley said she just wanted to be friends with me." I retort.

"Uhm hello! That's like the lesbian code for I want to get in your pants." Glen chimes in. "Perhaps it's time to brush up on your lesbian education."

He thinks he's quite the comedian.

I don't want them to give me false hope even though I've given myself enough of that to last a lifetime. "I still think you're crazy."

"If you don't want to believe us that's fine, but we're not wrong." Jessie boasts.

"Not to mention that the two of you would make just the cutest couple ever." Glen squeals.

He won't get any arguments out of me over that point.

"But if you don't believe us, we can always spy on Ashley for you." Glen offers.

Wait a minute.

Why is he being so nice to me?

It's not that Glen isn't a nice guy but as my older brother it's his job to torture me, I'm pretty sure that's in the job description

I eye him suspiciously, "What's in it for you?"

Glen gasps, "I am shocked that you would think my motives were anything less than selfless."

I continue to stare at him until he buckles under the pressure.

"Fine, fine, just stop looking at me like that." Glen requests. "If you can get Ashley that will leave Aiden free to pursue other options, namely me."

"I don't think Aiden swings that way." Jessie says.

"That's because your gaydar isn't as finally tuned as mine." Glen smirks. "Who cares if he's straight?" He uses air quotes when he says the word straight. "Have you taken a look at him, he's so fucking hot and so ripped it really gets me going if you know what I mean."

"Oh my god, ewwwww." I shriek. Those are details I don't want from my brother, especially about D.B. "And if you don't mind I'd like to keep the focus on me for a few minutes."

"Drama queen." Glen mutters under his breath.

"I think I know what has to be done." Jessie looks between Glen and me very seriously. "We are going to deploy a mission to ascertain the disposition and intent of one Ashley Davies."

"And I think you are way too obsessed with The L Word." I fire back.

"That's such a good idea." Glen pipes up. He waves his hand in the air like he's at school. "I want to be Alice."

"No, I want to be Alice." Jessie whines.

Oh good god, I'm surrounded by idiots.

"Neither one of you is going to be Alice, because you are not getting anywhere near Ashley." I tell them.

"You're no fun." Glen groans.

"Party pooper." Jessie agrees.

"I've embarrassed myself enough in front of Ashley, I don't need to do anything else that might put my dignity on the line." I explain.

"Fine." Jessie huffs. "Why don't you just Google her?"

"What a faboo idea." Glen says. "You should go get your laptop and we can research Ashley right now."

"I don't want to Google her." That sounds sort of dirty. "That takes the fun out of everything. I want to learn about Ashley from her not from what a search engine tells me."

"I bet you Ashley has already researched you." Jessie says in order to make me change my mind.

I shrug my shoulders, "Nothing I can do if she has, but I'm not going to, just so I can get the inside scoop on her."

I'll probably Google her when I'm alone, but there's no way I'm going to do it with Jessie and Glen around.

"Do you really think there's a chance for us?" I ask as I try to contain my hope.

Jessie nods her head, "Absolutely, she stuck around after everything you did, to me that says she's totally in to you."

My phone ringing interrupts our conversation.

I look down at the call display and my heart stops.

It's Ashley.

"Holy shit it's her." I squeal.

I wonder what she wants?

I guess I should answer it then.

"Hello." I say very casually to avoid looking over eager.

Glen and Jessie look puzzled so I mouth "Ashley" and they both let out a collective "Oh."

"Hey Spence." Ashley's voice is so sexy, I can't even begin to tell you what it does to me. "Did I call at a bad time?"

"No, not at all." I reply as coolly as I can.

"I just wanted to make sure you're ok, I mean you fell pretty hard." She explains.

Pretty hard for her, I agree.

Wow, she's checking up on me.

It's official, Ashley is the sweetest person ever!

I chuckle softly, "I'm ok, I have a pretty hard head."

"That's good to hear." Ashley says.

I look over at Glen and Jessie, they're leaning over and listening very intently.

"Did you want anything else?" I ask after we fall into a bit of an awkward silence.

"No, as long as you're ok, that's what's important." Ashley sounds nervous and that intrigues and puzzles me at the same time.

"I'm sound as a pound." I very lamely joke.

Jessie and Glen cover there mouths so Ashley doesn't hear them laughing.

"That's great." Ashley says and I get the feeling that there's more that she wants to say but she's restraining herself.

Or I could be imagining things.

"Thanks for calling Ash, that was very sweet of you." Jessie and Glen stick their fingers down their throat and I chuck my pillow at them to get them to shut up.

"Don't even mention it." She sighs. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Absolutely." I assure her.

We say our good-byes and then I hang up the phone.

"What did she want?" Jessie inquires.

"To check up on me." I can't even contain my smile and I actually don't want to.

"Oh yeah, she wants you bad." Jessie tells me with great confidence.

"Sweet, it's only a matter of time until Aiden's a free man." Glen is bouncing up and down like he's high on sugar.

The two of them dive in and start eating while I lie back on the couch.

I put my hands behind my head and stare up at the ceiling.

Are they right?

Is Ashley crushing on me already?

I thought I'd have my work cut out for me, but maybe us becoming a couple won't be that difficult.

However, deep down I have a feeling the journey I'm about embark on won't be an easy one.

But whatever happens on that journey, I'm ready for.

At least, I hope I am.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Learn how to fucking drive." I scream as I glare at the old lady attempting to operate the car beside me.

Honestly, some people!

I gun it so I can pass her and for good measure I give her the finger before she's just a speck in my rearview mirror.

Normally I'm not so out of control but I'm on my way to meet Ashley and the last thing I want is to be late.

The hours that have passed since she called to check up on me have passed so excruciatingly slow. I swear at one point I saw the second hand on my wristwatch go backwards.

No matter what I've been doing or who I've been speaking with, Ashley has been in my thoughts non-stop.

I'm quickly becoming obsessed with her, but not in some weird stalker kind of way. It's more like in a I-want-spend-the-rest-of my-life-with-you-and-have-tons-of-babies kind of way.

As much as I'd love to be in Ashley's head for just a second so I can find out what she's thinking, I'm glad she can't get in mine because I'm sure I'd scare the hell out of her.

On a positive note, I did get a heroes welcome when I returned to work this morning. My dad was singing my praises to everyone about how I managed to get Ashley to sign on with our company. I'm lucky he was too busy telling the office how great I am to notice Jessie and Glen snickering behind his back.

The praise was short lived though when he found out that Ashley hasn't actually signed a contract or anything. I assured him those are just minor details but he wasn't thrilled with that assessment. He practically ordered me to see Ashley again without knowing that I already have plans with her.

That worked out well for me because I didn't have to make up some lame excuse for leaving and I have the contract he insists Ashley signs in my trusty Louis Vuitton purse.

I changed purses before I left to go to work because my Coach purse is on probation for making me trip yesterday. It doesn't matter that me falling resulted in Ashley taking care of me, again, and in her kissing my cut all better, I really could have lived without the humiliation.

"Move a little slower why don't you!" I scream at the driver in front of me. I honk furiously on my horn and scream a few more profanities for affect until they get the message and change lanes.

Stupid slow drives need to get off the road and stop impeding my journey.

Ok, I think I need to calm down before I let my road rage get the best of me.

I start doing some breathing exercises I learnt in my yoga class when my phone rings.

"What?" I shout as I answer the call without looking to see who it is.

"That's not the proper way to answer the phone young lady." My mom replies sternly.

Just what I don't need, on top of everything else that's stressing me out I'm about to get a lecture. "Sorry mom, just having one of those days."

"Sounds like somebody is a little frustrated." She jokes.

Paula Carlin! How rude!

I don't think it's hard to see where I get my witty sense of humor from.

"Did you call for a particular reason, or was it just to bother me?" I ask to avoid addressing her very astute observation.

"I did call for a reason, bothering you is just an added bonus." My mom tells me.

My patience is wearing thin and my mother's antics are not helping. "I'm on my way to an important meeting mom so you have exactly five seconds to explain what you want before I hang up on you."

"Touchy touchy." I can picture her smirking so clearly. "I just wanted to make sure you're coming over for dinner tonight."

I cut another person who can't drive off before I respond. "I come over every week for dinner and every week you call to ask me if I'm coming. Is it really necessary for you to check up on me?"

"Of course it is, I'm your mother and I love you." She sounds really upset.

Oh no, she's using mother guilt on me, it's the most lethal form of guilt known to man.

I grip the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white. "I love you too and I'm sorry."

"See you tonight then." She says in an incredibly cheery tone. Gah, she tricked me, and the sad thing is I fall for it every time.

"Good-bye." I say as I pull into the parking lot of the recording studio.

I swear if her little guilt trip made me late I'm never going to forgive her.

I check the clock in my car and then I let out a groan of frustration.

No, I'm not late, I've arrived half an hour before I was supposed to.

I probably didn't need to leave my apartment so early but the way traffic is in L.A. you have to be prepared for anything.

And of course I was going stir crazy waiting for three o'clock to arrive.

Well I certainly can't go inside now, that will make me appear way too eager. Even though I've vowed to not to bring Sexy Spencer out to play anymore, I can't let Ashley know how much she's gotten to me when I don't know what her intentions are.

Although something tells me she already has an inkling that I'm crazy about her.

I decide to use the extra time I have to make sure I look my best.

I have on a faded pair of jeans and an old band t-shirt that used to belong to Glen. My mom accidentally shrunk it many years ago so it's too small for him but it fits me quite nicely. I had to go home and change before our meeting so I didn't look too corporate wearing one of my tailored suits.

I'm not really sure who Motley Crue is but I think the fact that I'm wearing their shirt will score me some points with Ashley. I have to admit I feel a bit badass and somewhat hardcore, you know what they say, 'when in Rome'.

I pull my pink lip gloss out of my purse so I can put on one more coat when I feel a hand reach into my car and grab my shoulder.

"Give me all your money."

Danger! Danger! Danger!

Oh my god, I'm getting car jacked!

I frantically reach back into my purse to get the mace I carry around for situations just like this one.

Nobody, not even some lunatic car jacker, is going to do anything to mess up my plans to hear Ashley sing.

They shake my shoulder again just as I get the cap off my spray bottle. "I didn't mean to scare you, I was only kidding around."

Sweet merciful Zeus!

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I ask Ashley as I shove the mace back in my purse.

Oh my god!

I almost maced Ashley!

That would have been disastrous.

And not the least bit funny.

My pulse is racing and for once the mere presence of Ashley isn't the reason for that.

"I'm sorry." Ashley replies as she bites her bottom lip.

That's ok my love, all is forgiven, let's kiss and make-up.

"No problem." Is what actually comes out of my mouth.

"I just saw you and I couldn't resist." She says and let me tell you I wish she meant something else by that statement.

Time to turn on a little bit of the Carlin charm.

Just because I'm not going to go all out to impress Ashley doesn't mean I can't flirt with her.

"You have no idea how often I hear that." I reply with a smile.

Ashley laughs as she opens my door for me, how gallant. "I have no doubt about that whatsoever."

Yes!

She's flirting back!

I think.

See, and you were worried for nothing.

I exit my vehicle gracefully and when I'm face to face with my would-be attacker, my throat goes dry.

Ashley is wearing another shirt that exposes her killer abs.

Maybe she's struggling to make ends meet so she can't afford clothes that cover her entire stomach.

It's not that I'm complaining because the view is very scrumptious, but seeing Ashley's toned and very defined abs sends me into tizzy like you wouldn't believe.

I want to touch them and kiss them and do some other stuff that is of the NC-17 variety.

I can feel my eyes being drawn to them like a moth to a flame and it's only when I hear Ashley clear her throat that I tear my eyes away from her abdomen.

It's a good thing I'm wearing sunglasses or my staring would have been very obvious. "Sorry the heat makes me space out sometimes." I say to explain why I haven't been speaking for the last few minutes.

Ashley nods her head, "Yeah, it is rather hot."

So take off all your clothes!

Hey, at least I'm thinking these things instead of saying them out loud.

That's progress.

"You're here kind of early." Ashley remarks as we make our way inside. "Let me guess, the early bird catches the worm, right?"

I open my mouth to reply but then quickly close it.

Damn, she knows so well me already.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Ashley teases as she hip checks me.

She's rather feisty today.

Which is good, very, very good.

"No, I'm just choosing to ignore your insults." I reply before I hip check her back.

"How mature of you Carlin." Ashley retorts and this time when she hip checks me she does it so forcefully I lose my balance.

Oh no, it's happening again.

I'm heading for the ground at an unbelievable speed, until I feel a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around me from behind.

"I guess I got a little carried away." Ashley says in my ear, causing me to shiver despite the California heat.

Her breath feels delicious against my skin and her voice takes on a husky quality that warms me right back up.

I turn my head and my mouth is mere inches away from hers.

I'm so close to the promised land I can almost taste it.

I look at Ashley's luscious lips and then my eyes move up to the brown eyes I could spend forever staring into. The only problem is, when I almost fell my sunglasses got knocked off so there is no way I can hide what I was just doing.

I almost call Ashley "my hero" until I realize that she'd know I remembered my drunken performance and my gut tells me this isn't the right time to let her in on that secret.

"That's uhm, yeah, uhm." I stammer and it's taking every ounce of self-control I can muster not to kiss her right now. This is the closest we've ever been and the feeling of Ashley's body pressed against mine is frying my brain.

"Are you ok?" Ashley asks quietly while still holding me tightly.

She seems reluctant to let go and that's fine by me.

I nod my head because I know if I speak I'll either end up making no sense or I'll end up saying something completely inappropriate.

Seconds pass, although it feels like an eternity as our eyes remain focused on each other.

Eventually Ashley shakes her head ever so slightly and then her arms are being removed from my body.

I want to scream, "no" at the loss of contact and heat our separation brings but I'm able to censor myself somehow.

"Thanks for catching me." I say to break the silence that's hanging over us.

Ashley's face is neutral, which only makes me want to know what she's thinking even more than I already did. "It was kind of my fault that you almost fell." She picks up my sunglasses and then she places them in the palm of my hand.

A surge of energy shoots through my entire body, which I try very hard not to react to.

I don't think I was successful though because Ashley steps away from me very quickly.

No, no, no, things are beginning to get uncomfortable.

"So, do you play any instruments?" I blurt out to change both the subject and the tone of our conversation.

Ashley chuckles as we begin to walk, "Very subtle Spence, very subtle, but to answer your question, yes I do."

"Really?" I tilt my head, "What do you play?"

Please say the guitar, please say the guitar, please say the guitar.

Ashley opens the door for me and I step inside the air-conditioned building. "Today I'll be doing some recordings with the piano."

Drats!

Oh well, maybe piano players have just as strong hands as guitar players.

I mean their fingers have to nimble and they have to be able to use both hands at once.

Ah, I'm going off into my own world again, it's time to come back.

"But I also play the guitar." Ashley finishes.

Wahoo!

Score one for me!

I'm such a perv.

"That's cool." I reply nonchalantly even though my head is filled with very dirty thoughts about Ashley, her fingers and how I wish she'd play my body like one of her instruments.

She leads me to the studio she has booked for the next few hours without much talking but the tension that was present before is gone.

"So this is where all the magic happens." Ashley smirks as she shows me around.

I place my purse on the floor and smile at her. "I can't wait for the show."

That show is going to have to wait though because an unwelcome guest has just walked through the door.

"Hey Ash, I need to…" Aiden stops mid sentence when he sees me.

Damn you D.B. and your very bad timing.

Also damn you for using the name Ash, that's my thing, not yours!

"You remember Aiden." Ashley says but I'm happy to report she doesn't look all that pleased by his presence either.

"How could I forget." I reply harsher then I would have liked.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but Tony's on the line for you." He hands Ashley a cell phone and now D.B. has me wondering who Tony is.

"I have to take this call." Ashley says as she puts the phone to her ear. "I'll be right back."

She hightails it out of the studio leaving me alone with D.B.

Well this ought to be fun…not!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ashley better make an appearance soon because the longer I have to spend with D.B. the sicker I'm going to feel.

Not only does he get to call Ashley his, but he's ruining what's supposed to be Spencer and Ashley time. I never signed up for Spencer, Ashley and D.B. time that's for sure.

D.B. gives me a quick nod of the head, "Spencer."

I take a step in his direction and narrow my eyes at his own beady ones. "Aiden."

Just saying his name makes my tummy hurt.

"We need to talk." D.B. announces as he closes the studio door.

Uh oh.

I think I might be in some trouble.

He has every right to be mad, I suppose. If Ashley was my girlfriend, oh scratch that, when Ashley becomes my girlfriend, and I found out she spent the night in someone else's bed, I'd want to kick her bedmate's ass too.

Bring it on D.B, I dare you!

In fact, I double dare you because I'm a black belt in Karate and I would have no problem destroying you.

Ok, ok, that's not true I've never even taken a Karate class, but I have seen The Karate Kid like seven times, which makes me, in my mind at least, an expert.

Plus I have my whole rocker outfit working for me and even if D.B. towers over my petite frame, I feel a surge of power and determination that allows me to actually believe I could beat him up.

On the other hand, seeing D.B. and I going at it, oh my god, not like that, I'm shuddering now. As I was saying, seeing D.B. and I fight would probably not make the best impression on Ashley and lord knows I can't afford any more screws up in that department.

"About what?" I ask the bane of my existence as I fold my arms across my chest.

"I think you know." D.B. replies as he gets closer to me.

I stand up straighter to look taller than I really am. "Oh, I do, do I?"

That's right Spencer, act dumb and just pretend you didn't propose, strip, give a lap dance and tell Ashley, the girl D.B. is dating, that you love her.

Denial, denial, denial!

"It's about last night." D.B. explains.

Double uh oh.

I refuse to be intimidated, "What about last night?"

I should take comfort in the fact that D.B. probably doesn't know I'm gay. There's no way Ashley would tell him that, right? Right?

He just stares at me with a confused expression on his ugly face and it appears we're at a bit of a stand off.

The situation I'm in reminds me of those old western movies you can catch on late night TV.

If D.B. and I were actually in one of those movies this would be the point where the townspeople disappear to avoid being caught in the crossfire. In the background there would be some twangy music playing to heighten the tension that is already present. We'd mosey on over to each other and just as we get into gun slinging position a gust of wind would come in to spread some dust around.

We can't forget the cheesy dialogue either.

I'd say something to D.B. like, "Looking for trouble?", and I'd have a long piece of grass hanging out my mouth. He'd spit out some chewing tobacco before he replied with, "Yeah, as a matter of fact I am." Then I'd adjust my cowboy hat and come back with the equally lame, "Well you just found trouble." D.B. would finish off our exchange with, "Great, trouble is exactly what I was looking for."

And the rest kind of writes itself.

I glare at D.B. and wait for him to tell me what's on his mind instead of blurting something out that he might not know.

I swear I just saw a tumbleweed blow by.

I tilt my head as I wait for him to spit out a wild accusation about me trying to steal his girlfriend.

What?

Head tilts can work on guys too, I just normally reserve them for the ladies.

"I wanted to thank you." D.B. says throwing me for an absolute loop.

Uhm, excuse me?

He wants to thank me?

Have I just entered the Twilight Zone or something?

"You know, for showing Ashley a good time." D.B. further explains as I stare at him with what I'm sure is a very dumbfounded expression.

This has to be some sort of joke because I'm completely at a loss on how to explain D.B. thanking me for throwing myself at Ashley.

Maybe he got an extremely censored version of what happened last night. That has to be it because there's no other…

Oh my god!

I think I figured it out.

D.B. is Ashley's pimp and he shops her around to successful businesswomen like myself.

That bastard! He's using my girl to…

Yeah, ok, I'm going out of my mind and it's time for me to stop.

I stick my hands in the back pocket of my jeans and try to appear as innocent as possible. "You're welcome."

D.B. smiles affectionately at me, ew. "Ever since we've moved out here Ash has been a little down and missing her friends back home so I'm glad she's found a friend in you."

Is it possible that I misjudged D.B.?

Nah, I don't think so either.

"I'm happy to be of service." I reply with impish glee. I'm confident that D.B. is as dumb as he looks so he won't pick up on the hidden meaning to my response.

"There's actually something else I needed to talk to you about and I need to do it quickly before Ashley returns." D.B. says as his voice drops down to a whisper.

Oh no!

He's going to try and make a move on me.

That two-timing asshole, how could he hurt Ashley like that!

Why, oh why, do I have to be so damn attractive?

I take a step backwards as I try to gauge how I can kick D.B. in the nuts without him picking up on my thought process.

D.B. glances behind him and I move my leg into nut kicking position. "I was hoping you could do something for me…"

I was right, he wants my body, shit!

"I'm leaving in a few days for New York to tie up some loose ends and I'll be gone for two weeks." D.B. continues.

Whoa.

What?

I think Christmas just came early this year!

"I wasn't going to go because I don't like the idea of Ashley being all alone in this city but now that she has you, I was hoping you'd keep an eye on her for me." He finishes and I quickly change my stance so he won't notice that I was about to inflict some pain on him.

So, let me make sure I understand this correctly.

D.B. is going out of town for two weeks.

Two weeks!

And he's practically begging me to spend all my free time with Ashley.

Oh D.B., I think I might love you!

In a very non-sexual way of course.

"Don't worry about Ashley, she'll be in very good hands." I assure him.

Very good hands indeed!

D.B. slugs me across the shoulder, "Great, I have some things to take care of, tell Ash I'll be gone for a little while."

Believe me, that's a message I'll be more then happy to deliver.

I guess I was worried about being alone with D.B. for nothing.

"No problem." D.B. is almost out the door when I remember the other thing that had me worried. "Hey D…" Oops, I almost had a slip of the tongue there. "Hey Aiden, who's Tony?" I hope that didn't come across as nosy.

"He's Ashley's rep from her record label." D.B. informs me before he disappears down the hallway.

You know what?

I think I just caught my first break in my pursuit of Ashley.

Finally!

Two whole weeks with Ashley and no D.B., how fucking awesome!

I'm practically giddy at the thought.

I'm still antsy for Ashley to return though and as much fun as standing around with nothing to do sounds, I make a beeline for the piano in the middle of the room instead. I may not be at Ashley's level in terms of musical talent but my mom did force me take piano lessons as a kid so I'm not a total novice.

I sit down on the bench and then I begin to tickle the ivories.

I'd love to tickle Ashley's ivories!

Is it me, or is every second thought coming into my head a dirty one?

Moving on, I get really into my performance even though nobody is around and when I'm done with my song, I'm startled by the sound of someone applauding. I jerk my head up and leaning against the piano, looking amazing as always, is Ashley.

If I strain my head just a bit higher I think I might be able to see down her shirt.

"That has to be the best rendition of Chopsticks I've ever heard." Ashley remarks right before she sneezes.

Yup, I was right, Ashley sneezing is hella sexy.

I can see her well defined abs flex under the strain of that sneeze.

Someone once told me that we use the same muscles to sneeze that we use when we orgasm. I'd really love to find out if that is true and I already have the girl I'd like to prove that theory with all picked out.

Any guesses who that might be?

"Bless you." I say while I watch Ashley walk around the piano and take a seat on the bench beside me. "But on another note, were you making fun of my piano playing abilities?"

Ashley shakes her head but the shy smile on her face tells another story all together. "I would never do anything like that, I was being honest." Her hands join mine on the piano keys and her bare arm brushes against mine in the process.

I'm pretty sure this girl is going to kill me with her ability to make my insides melt.

"I don't know if I believe you." I tease.

Ashley connects her eyes with mine and she's looking very intently at them, making me wonder why she got so serious when I thought we were just goofing around.

"I don't ever want to lie to you Spence." Ashley replies and my breathing has just turned very heavy. "That's the last thing I'd ever want to do." Her eyes are filled with emotion and something else I can't put my finger on.

Speaking of fingers, Ashley's are making their way over to my side of the piano.

I look down and before I know it, both her hands are resting comfortably on mine. Ashley isn't applying a lot of pressure on them but I feel the charge the contact brings in ever fiber of my being.

"What are you doing?" I ask nervously. It's not that I don't like what she's doing but I'm about two seconds away from attacking Ashley in a series of hot kisses and we're not exactly in a place where I want our first kiss to happen.

"Teaching you how to play the piano properly." Ashley husks out as she scoots that much closer to me. "It's not enough just to play the notes, you have feel the music." She whispers that part in my ear and if I'm not careful I might let out a moan. "Close your eyes and…"

"Well don't you two look cozy."

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

I must have been very bad in a previous life to have my most intimate moment with Ashley to date interrupted by my arch nemesis.

Oh fuckity fuck!

What in the world is Madison doing here?

Ashley and I move away from each other and that gives me another reason to dislike Madison even more than I already do.

"Can I help you?" Ashley asks Madison very harshly.

Madison saunters over to the piano and I can't help but notice that she's smirking. "Actually, I'm here to help you."

I feel a rage building deep within me that I'm not sure I can control.

"In case you didn't notice, I'm in the middle of something." Ashley replies and her eyes are flashing the anger that I feel.

Where did that come from?

"Oh I noticed." Madison sneers in my direction and I can tell she has something up her sleeve. "I'm here to offer my services as your new publicist. You'll have to forgive me for not recognizing you and your unbelievable talent the other night."

Say what?

That's it, I'm going to beat Madison down so fucking bad.

How dare she come in here and invade my territory.

Ashley's mine and she can't have her, not in a business way and certainly not in a pleasurable way either.

"Actually I have representation thank you." Ashley is smiling but she's not happy. "So you can go now."

Nice one Ash, you rock!

"Rumor has it that you haven't signed with anybody yet so I'm here to offer my services any way I can." Madison coos.

I knew it! She plays for our side.

Fuck!

"Are you deaf or something, get out of here." Ashley orders.

Order giving Ashley is hot yo!

"Come on Ashley are you really going to trust your career in her hands." Madison points to me and can I just add that I hate when people talk about me like I'm not in the room. "I mean you wouldn't want some sex obsessed dyke ruining your career before it even begins."

Man, Madison is such a bitch!

I know I said I need to get laid but I think she needs it more.

There is something seriously wrong with her and I really don't understand why she is obsessed with my sex life.

I turn my head to tell Ashley that I'll take care of Madison but she isn't beside me anymore.

Where'd she go?

"What the fuck did you just say?" Ashley shouts.

There she is.

And by there I mean standing two inches from Madison and looking incredibly pissed off.

Madison sticks her hands on her hips and grins. "I said, you should really reconsider having Spencer represent you or she might just rub some of her skanky, whore, lesbian attitude on you."

I see Ashley clench her hands together into fists and she's trembling. "I think you need to apologize to Spencer, right now!"

Oh my god, Ashley is actually defending me!

I would run up and hug her but I'm not sure I want to step in between those two.

Ashley sneezing is sexy, Ashley breathing is sexy, Ashley giving me a nose crinkle is sexy but Ashley defending my honor and getting all riled up is by far the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

"What are you her girlfriend?" Madison's tone is snarky and she isn't backing down either.

"That's it." Ashley calls out as she pushes Madison backwards. "You want to rumble chica?"

Madison lets out a haughty laugh, "You better watch yourself Davies."

"Make me." Ashley challenges and she's back in Madison's face again.

I should probably break those two up seeing as I seem to be the reason they're fighting. Although I will admit the idea of letting them go at it in a cat fight has crossed my mind.

I will say that Madison has a very poor sales pitch. If this is the way she tries to get new clients I don't think my dad's company has a thing to worry about.

"It might be best for you to leave." I say to Madison as I try to get in front of Ashley.

Just when I'm sure things couldn't worse, D.B. enters the studio.

"What's going on here?" He asks as he eyes the three of us.

Madison forgets about Ashley for a second as she turns her attention to D.B. "I was here to convince Ashley that she's making a mistake but now I see an even better prize." She runs her finger down D.B.'s chest but he pushes her away.

D.B. appears grossed out and he's looking over at me and Ashley, "And who is this walking disease?"

D.B., I have misjudged you, that was fucking funny!

And his comment embarrassed Madison, score one for the douche.

Maybe I'll even start calling him Aiden from now on.

Madison growls but before she can utter one more insult I cut her off. "Just go, you aren't welcome here."

"This isn't over." Madison warns. She's scowling at all three of us now but I'm not scared. "Don't say I didn't warn you Davies, when your career never takes off you'll have Spencer to blame for that."

Ashley lunges at Madison and this time it's Aiden that holds her back.

Madison walks out of the studio and I'm not sure how much damage she inflicted.

Once she's gone Aiden lets go of Ashley and the tension that Madison brought with her visit is still hanging in the air.

I want to ask Ashley if she's ok and I also want to thank her for sticking up for me.

I can't though because without warning she runs out of the room leaving me and Aiden alone again.

I wonder what has her so upset.

Is it Madison and her homophobic views or the fact that she hit on Aiden?

Inquiring minds want to know.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I'm still in shock after Ashley's departure that it barely registers with me when Aiden announces that he'll go after her. I nod my head and watch him follow her without uttering a word.

Part of me wants to be the one who finds out what got Ashley so upset but another part of me is afraid to know the answer. All sorts of worst case scenarios run through my mind. I take a seat back down on the piano bench while my stomach goes haywire.

It bothers me that however innocent, I had some hand in causing a person I care about pain. Sure I've only known Ashley for an incredibly short period of time, but in that time I've already done so many things to her that I wish I could take back. I should have punched Madison the second she walked through those doors and next time I see her I'll have to do just that.

The longer I'm left with my thoughts, the more panicky I become.

What if Ashley decides that my sexuality is not something she wants to put up with?

What if Ashley decides that me representing her is not worth the trouble it's already brought her?

What if Ashley decides that being friends with me brings too much drama into her life?

What if Ashley decides that she doesn't want to see me anymore?

I try and stop the frantic and irrational questions piling up on top of each other with no success.

What if Ashley decides that…

"Hey."

Oh thank god she came back because I was about to have a full blown panic attack and it wouldn't have been pretty.

I look up and when I see how unnerved Ashley is I forget all about my own anxieties. She seems tentative to approach me and I don't know why. "Hey." I reply as I run my hands up and down my jeans. "Are you ok?" Ashley nods her head but I get the feeling her actual answer is no. "I'm sorry…"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." Ashley forcefully cuts in. "I should be the one apologizing to you."

"No you shouldn't." I tell her just as forcefully. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Ashley sits beside and sighs. "Yeah I did, I let Madison get to me and because of that she said all those awful things to you."

I can't believe Ashley is taking responsibility for the hate that Madison spewed. "Trust me Ash, that wasn't the first time Madison has gone off like she did. She's said a lot worse to me before."

"Doesn't make it right." Ashley says with conviction.

"No, I suppose it doesn't." I concur. "But I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to get used to something like that." Ashley whispers and her voice is clouded with such emotion.

I want to take her in my arms and comfort her but I'm sure that will only make matters worse. "That's life sometimes, you can't control what people think or what people say." I place my hand on her shoulder even though I'm scared of what her reaction will be. I have to let her know I'm ok because she's clearly not.

Ashley doesn't recoil from my touch, but she doesn't seem all that comforted by it either.  
"I don't understand."

"Understand what?" I whisper. From the second I spotted Ashley I figured this girl was strong, but in this moment she seems incredibly fragile and one wrong word from me will cause her to break.

I don't want Ashley to break and I certainly don't want her to break over me.

"How you can be fine after those awful things Madison said about you?" She explains. Her voice cracks and I'm seriously worried that she might start to cry.

"You have to pick your battles Ash." She looks over at me and the expression on her face makes my heart ache. I never want to see that expression again. "Madison is just not worth getting upset about."

Ashley nods and doesn't respond right away, almost as if she's processing what I just said. "I'm really sorry Spence."

"For what?" I ask. I don't understand why she feels the need to keep apologizing to me, she didn't do anything wrong.

Ashley closes her eyes briefly before she answers. "For how I acted and for taking off instead of seeing how you were."

Is this girl for real? She took on Madison, defended me and now she feels bad, that's messed up. "Seriously Ash you have to stop saying you're sorry."

She shakes her head, "I was an idiot."

"An idiot who did something really nice for me." I say hoping it will make Ashley smile.

"That's not going to work." Ashley replies as the corners of her mouth twitch.

I breathe an internal sigh of relief that I appear to have done something right. "What's not going to work?" I ask feigning innocence.

Ashley tries to glare at me but I can tell I've gotten to her. "You're making jokes so I'll forget what a fool I made of myself."

Somebody needs to recap for Ashley the events of the last two days because there's no way she came close to even matching the fool I've made of myself in front of her. "Are you embarrassed?"

"No." Ashley replies quickly but the crimson cheek's she's sporting lets me know that she meant yes.

In a move Ashley perfected, I guide her eyes back to me as I take my fingers and turn her head in my direction. "Please don't feel bad, you have no idea how grateful I am that you stood up for me."

"I only did what was right." Ashley's modest too! Could she be any more perfect? "Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that, especially you."

Especially me?

What does that mean?

I really need to invest in an Ashley-to-English dictionary, it would make my life a whole lot easier.

"Even though you don't want the praise, I'm going to give it to you anyway." I pause and take a deep breath. "Thank you."

Ashley smiles but I suspect she's not completely over the Madison incident. "You're welcome."

Time to insert some playful humor back into our afternoon.

"See that wasn't so hard." I wait a few beats. "Slugger."

I laugh and Ashley is again trying to hide her smile. "Are you mocking me?"

"Moi?" I point at my chest. "Of course not, please don't hit me or anything."

"And to think I defended your sorry ass." Ashley jokes and I'm happy to report her nose crinkle is back. "Remind me next time not to do that."

I roll my eyes, "Like I could have stopped you."

"I have a confession to make." Ashley blurts out.

She stops my mind from coming up with another joke cold.

Oh my god!

This is it!

She's going to confess that she's secretly gay and I'm the love of her life.

Yes!

I take a quick scan of the room because I'm sure that this is when Madison or Aiden are going to come in and interrupt our conversation right when we're getting to the good part.

Shockingly, neither one of them are around.

"What is it?" I ask as I wait with baited breath.

Ashley seems reluctant to tell me what's on her mind and that only confirms my suspicions. "I really don't feel like playing anything right now."

Oh well, there goes that theory.

Darn, I was so sure she was going to admit her undying love for me.

That's ok though, I have time to work on her feelings.

Two weeks to be exact.

"I know you wanted to hear me sing." She continues. "But Madison ruined the mood."

I chuckle softly, "Yeah, she does have that affect on people."

I hope Ashley singing for me isn't going to turn into one of those running gags where it never actually happens. Like on Fraiser, how we never saw Maris or on Will & Grace how we never saw Stan.

This better not be one of those things or I'm going to be so mad!

"I'm sorry." Ashley apologizes for the umpteenth time.

"Stop doing that." I tell her sternly. "There will be no more 'I'm sorrys coming from you today." I ball my hands into fists and shoot her a menacing look. "You got that."

Ashley holds up her hands in surrender. "All right, no need to threaten me."

"Don't give me a reason to Davies." I tell her as I scrunch up my face.

"Ok, geeze, you made your point Carlin." Ashley replies as she holds her hands up higher.

"Good, I'm glad we got that settled." I withdraw my fists of fury and grin. "Besides, I'll just have to find a way for you to make this up to me."

Boy, will I ever!

Ashley laughs and for the first time since Madison infiltrated our time together it sounds genuine. "You really are something else Spence."

"Thanks, I like to think so." I grin even wider at my ability to cheer Ashley up.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Aiden asks as he sticks his head through the door.

Ashley and I both look up at him but she's the one who speaks. "No you're not."

"Cool." Aiden walks inside and for once I don't feel like vomiting at his presence. "I just did a Madison patrol and I'm happy to report there's been no sightings of her at all."

No!

Don't be funny and charming!

How am I supposed to hate you if you are?

"Thanks." I say as I try to think of a reason that will make him leave again.

"It's the least I can do." Aiden replies sincerely.

Ugh, he's being nice, someone make him stop!

"I should probably be going." I announce as I stand up. I'm really not in the mood to bond with Aiden. "My mom's expecting me for dinner soon."

"Sure if you have to go." Ashley says as she stands up as well. "I'll walk you out."

Aiden waves at me, "It was nice seeing you again." Ashley turns her head for a second and Aiden winks. That normally would disgust me but then I remember how he asked me to watch over Ashley, so I guess that was ok if he was referring to our earlier discussion.

"You too." I tell him and I hope I didn't come off as sarcastic.

I'm about to walk out the door when an incredible idea hits me.

I know I just said I didn't want to spend time with Aiden, but until he leaves that might be the only way I can get face time with Ashley.

And I'll take any time with Ashley I can get.

"If you guys aren't busy tonight, you're more then welcome to come over for dinner as well." I suggest and then I marvel at my brilliance. It's a perfect plan and there's not a chance Aiden will figure out why I'm inviting them over. "My mom usually makes a ton of food anyway so I'm sure having two more guests won't be an issue." Ashley looks uncertain so I decide to use Aiden for my benefit. "She's making her world famous pot roast."

Aiden's eyes light up just like I suspected they would.

Boys are so easy.

"I haven't had a home cooked meal in forever." Aiden remarks and he's practically salivating at the mouth.

Ew, gross!

"It does sound good." Ashley says as she looks over at Aiden.

"Great, you're totally coming then." I exclaim. I write down my parent's address without giving Ashley a chance to change her mind.

Score!

More time with Ashley and if Aiden gets in the way I'll just sic Glen on him.

Ashley and I make idle chit chat on the way to my car and when we reach it, I'm faced with a dilemma.

To hug, or not to hug, that is the question.

I jingle my keys, "This is my stop."

"That it is." Ashley replies and she looks as awkward as I feel.

"Thanks again for earlier." I say as I try to work up the courage to embrace Ashley.

Friends hug all the time, right?

And we're friends so if I hug Ashley she won't freak out, right?

Ashley cuts off my inner debate by wrapping her arms around me.

I'm stunned momentarily by how utterly fantastic it feels to be in Ashley's arms before I hug her back.

"If I have to stop saying I'm sorry, then you have to stop thanking me." Ashley whispers in my ear.

"Ok." I manage to reply as my body melts into hers.

It's going to sound so cliché, but seriously we fit perfectly together and I don't ever want to let her go.

But just like Rose let go of Jack, I have to let go of Ashley no matter how much I wish I didn't.

"I'll see you soon." I say as I get into my car. I lower the window and peer up into Ashley's chocolate brown eyes. "Don't be late or we might start without you."

Ashley crouches down before she sticks her head inside my car. "I won't, I promise." She gazes at me for a few more seconds, making my heart flutter like only she can. "Bye Spence."

"Bye Ash." I watch her step back and then I rev my engine. That elicits a shake of the head and a laugh from Ashley, which was exactly my intention. Ashley walks inside and as I pull out of my parking spot I bask a bit in the hug we just shared.

Each encounter with Ashley brings us closer together.

And soon enough I'll get the chance to learn more about her, which is what I really want.

I've never had such a strong desire to get to know somebody like I do with Ashley. I find myself wondering about who Ashley really is and what makes her tick.

That is the part I'm really looking forward to.

Ok, ok, I'd like to see her naked too, who wouldn't?

I feel so happy right now and nothing can bring me down.

I'm the king of the wor…

Smash!

Oh, that can't be good.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I'm on my way to my parent's house after determining that the Spencermobile only suffered minor damage when it collided with that street sign. It has a few scratches on it and one little dent, which normally would upset me but with the luck I've had lately I'm just grateful it wasn't worse.

Who knew daydreaming about Ashley could prove hazardous to ones driving ability?

I decide to focus only on the road ahead of me for the rest of the trip in order to avoid any more mishaps.

Ashley is so hot!

Super-duper-inside-melting-drool-worthy-out-of-this-world-hot!

Sigh, I was doing so well too.

I actually managed to go four seconds without Ashley invading the depths of my mind.

I can't help myself, she's running through every one of my thoughts, naked.

What's a girl to do?

I have to concentrate.

Concentrate Spencer, concentrate!

Concentrate on what I'm saying, people are dying, children are crying, concentrate!

Where the hell did that come from?

Ashley is slowly driving me crazy…one, two, three, four, five, six, switch.

Crazy me driving slowly is Ashley...six, five, four, three, two one, switch.

Yeah, I'm on the road to crazy town for sure.

Oh shit!

I just remembered I never got Ashley to sign the contract my dad gave me.

He's going to be so pissed!

I'd better get to her before he does and get her signature on the bottom line so I don't get fired.

Like my dad would fire me, I'm his best publicist.

Speaking of parents, I should probably call my mom and let her know we're going to be having extra guests for dinner. I have learned my lesson from my recent accident though, instead of dialing with my hands, I'm going to use my Bluetooth.

I love technology.

"Call mom." I say slowly and clearly to activate the dial-by-name.

Nothing.

"Call mom." I repeat even slower.

Still nothing.

"Call mom!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

The third time was not a charm.

I fucking hate technology.

Just as I'm about to explode with anger, my phone rings, it's my mom.

Thank god!

"Hi mom." I answer and I feel my blood pressure dropping.

"Hey Spence, just wanted to get the 411 on your ETA." She replies and for once I'm glad she's checking up on me.

But can I just say, 411, really?

My mom needs to update her lingo.

"I should be there in fifteen minutes." I tell her as I change lanes. "Before I forget, I wanted to let you know that I invited two people over for dinner."

"Spencer." My mom groans. "A little notice would have been nice."

"I know, I know, but I just invited them." I stick out my bottom lip and then quickly withdraw it when I realize she can't see that I'm pouting. "They're new in town and they don't really know anybody.:"

That's right Spence, appeal to her mother side.

My mom sighs rather loudly, "Can't we have them over another night?"

Time to pull out the big guns.

"They're all alone mom, and the Christian thing to do would be to open your home to them." I counter.

That'll teach her for using her mom guilt on me.

"Ok fine." She replies.

Ha!

I knew that would work.

I smile to myself, "Thanks mom, you're the best!"

"Yeah I know. I'll see you soon and drive safe." She says before she hangs up.

Sweet, all that's left for me to do is get to my parents without anymore mishaps and I'm golden.

I slam on my breaks when I realize I'm at a red light.

Whew, that was close.

I pull into my parent's driveway in one piece twenty minutes later. I unlock the front door and announce my arrival. "The prodigal daughter has returned." I shout.

"I'm in the kitchen." My mom shouts back.

I make my way to, well, the kitchen and take a seat on a stool right by the island in the middle of it. My mom has her head stuck in the fridge so I sneak a few grapes out of the fruit salad she's making. "Hey."

"Stop eating the dessert." She replies without looking at me.

I probably shouldn't have greeted her with a mouthful of food. "You were always telling me as a kid to eat my fruit and vegetables and now that I am you're scolding me for it. Talk about mixed messages mom."

"Don't be smart with me young lady." My mom closes the fridge door but she's not mad. I can tell because she smiling at me and on her way over to give me a hug.

"What can I say, I learn from the best." I smirk.

"You think you're funny but you're not." She retorts before she gives me that hug she came over for. When she pulls back she's frowning. "What happened to your head?"

I keep forgetting about that little spill of mine, ok, there was more then one but I've blocked those out as well. Selective memory can be so good. "I fought the law and the law won."

"Spencer." My mom says in that stern voice of hers.

"Relax mom it was just a joke." I manage to snare a few more grapes despite the knife my mom is now pointing at me. "I just tripped is all."

Tripped in front of your future daughter-in-law.

"I should have guessed." She teases as she goes back to cutting up the salad. "You are such a klutz."

"No I'm not." I reply emphatically.

"You know I love you Spence, but you aren't the most graceful girl around." She's so mean! "Remember how we tried to enroll you in ballet and you kept tripping on the ribbon from your ballet shoes. The instructor said he'd never met anyone like you before."

Come to think of it, I've heard that from quite a few people

"He was commenting on my raw talent." I tell her even though we both know that's not true. "Has anyone else arrived yet?" I ask to change the subject.

My mom nods, "Glen and Jessie are in the backyard swimming. We're still waiting for your dad and Clay to get here."

"Is Chelsea coming?"

"No, she's too busy with work, but she sends her best." She replies as she gives in and hands me more grapes before I can steal some.

"That's too bad." I really like Chelsea and she's been a good influence on my brother. Don't get me wrong, I love Clay but he's not the most exciting guy around, luckily his girlfriend is changing that about him.

As for Jessie's presence, because she moved out to L.A. on her own, my parents sort of adopted her as an unofficial Carlin. How nice are they?

My mom told me I'm still her favorite daughter though.

Like I had any doubts!

There was this one time…oh never mind about that, it's way too embarrassing to share.

My mom continues to chop up fruit but now she's giving me a funny look. "I thought you came straight from a business meeting?"

"I did." That's an odd question.

She uses the knife to point at my wardrobe. "You went to a meeting dressed like that?"

"It was with a soon to be rock star." I explain as a naked Ashley invades my thoughts again. So not the time. "I thought being all dressed up would make her feel uncomfortable."

That sounds plausible, right?

"Mmmhmm." My mom doesn't appear convinced by my explanation. She purses her lips together and keeps staring at me.

"She's actually who I invited over for dinner." I say as I avoid eye contact with her.

"Does she have a name?" My mom inquires and I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks.

Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush. "Ashley."

"You're blushing." She remarks.

Damn it!

"I am not." I need to escape right now. "It's just so freaking hot in here. Hello! It's summer maybe you and dad can splurge on some air-conditioning."

"Look at me Spencer." My mom orders and of course I comply. "Is Ashley more just your client?"

"Oh my god mom." I shriek, making me look very guilty. "What kind of question is that?"

"Ah, I get it." She gives me a knowing smile. "You're crushing on her and she doesn't know it yet."

Somebody help me please!

"You really need to stop coming up with crazy theories all the time, that's what you are, crazy!" I protest a little bit too vehemently.

My mom sees right through me. "How cute, my baby girl has a crush."

I think I might have made a big mistake inviting Ashley over for dinner. "I do not and you better not make any comments to her."

"Of course I won't." She assures me. "I'll get Glen to do it."

"Mom don't you dare." I shout and I no longer think I made a big mistake with the dinner invitation, I know I did. My mom, actually my whole family likes to embarrass me whenever they get a chance.

What was I thinking?

"Calm down, I was only trying to scare you." My mom replies as she stifles her laughter. "You're so sensitive."

I know I'm very lucky to have parents who accept me but sometimes they can be such a pain in the you know what. "Please don't humiliate me tonight."

"I'll try not to." She jokes but she better mean it. "And who is the other guest you invited?"

This is going to be the tricky part.

How do I explain Aiden?

"He's just this guy that Ashley sort of knows." I shove more grapes in my mouth hoping that will help me distract her from my answer. "He hangs around all the time and he might even be stalking her."

I am so lame.

My mom stops chopping all together, "Do you mean her boyfriend?"

"That's the problem with your generation mom, you always want to label things." I'm in desperate need of a parachute but all that's in my knapsack is cutlery. "It's always boyfriend this, or girlfriend that, you really need to learn how to live without all the labeling, it's very uncool."

She's so not buying what I'm trying to sell.

I can hear her lecture in my head already and I'm too hung up on Ashley to listen.

"Spencer…" My mom starts as she shakes her head.

"What?" I scream as I turn my head the other direction. "I'll be there in one second." I turn back to my mom and smile. "Jessie needs me, we'll catch up later." I hurry my ass out of the kitchen before she can finish what she was going to say.

"I'm not done talking to you." My mom shouts as I open the back door.

"Sorry can't hear you." I tell her as I shut the door behind me.

Yowzers, that was another close call.

Good thing I'm quick on my feet.

I'm hoping that my mom will see how perfect Ashley is for me and she'll give me the green light to pursue her despite her attached status.

I'm so screwed.

I walk over to the pool and greet my brother and Jessie. "Hey guys."

They greet me by trying to splash water all over me.

How immature!

"Mom, Jessie and Glen aren't playing nice." I yell forgetting all about how I'm supposed to be avoiding her.

What?

I can't have my hair get wet and risk it getting ruined before Ashley arrives.

"You kids play nice or you won't get any dinner." My mom yells back.

Jessie and Glen make some very rude hand gestures in my direction and I respond my sticking my tongue out at them.

"Well someone's in a good mood." Jessie says as her and Glen swim over to my side of the pool. "I take it your meeting with Ashley went well."

Did it?

I haven't decided yet.

I take a seat on one of the deck chairs that is out of water splashing range. Instead of analyzing what happened I give them a run down of the whole Madison incident.

Jessie shakes her head, "I don't know what is wrong with that girl."

"I'll tell you what's wrong with her." Glen starts as he rests his arms against the edge of the pool. "She's a fucking cow."

"Watch your language Glen." My mom shouts from inside the house.

"Sorry mom." Glen shouts back. "Damn that woman has bionic hearing." He whispers to himself.

"You're the one that dated her." I tease.

"That's because I was going through such emotional turmoil in my struggle to find my true self." Glen fires back.

Puh-lease!

"I still think she's gay." Jessie says while she and Glen tread water.

Jessie's comment sends a shiver down my spine. "Don't even joke about that, it's too awful to be funny."

She and Glen banter back and forth for a few minutes about Madison's sexuality before I decided to spring my surprise on them.

"My afternoon wasn't a complete waste though, Ashley is coming over for dinner." I look directly at my brother so I can see his reaction when I finish speaking. "And so is Aiden."

My announcement is followed by Jessie clapping her hands and Glen emitting the loudest, highest pitched, girly squeal he has ever made.

"Spencer what is wrong with you?" Glen barks as he flies out of the pool.

I'm taken aback by his response. "I thought you would have sung my praises not yelled at me."

I'm crushed.

Not really but his reaction does have me intrigued.

Glen is frantically gathering his stuff together. "I didn't even get a chance to pick out the proper outfit to show off my hot body to Aiden." He glares at me as he continues his tirade. "I left all my hair products at home. What am I going to do? I swear to Cher, if my hair turns out frizzy I'm going to throttle you." He stomps all the way inside the house and the last thing I hear him whine is, "I knew I should have shaved my legs."

What a drama queen!

I look over at Jessie and we both burst out laughing.

"That boy is having a conniption fit." Jessie says before she also emerges from the pool.

"Totally." I reply and I'm still laughing. "Did you have a good swim?"

"Are you checking me out Carlin?" Jessie smirks as she takes a seat beside me.

I'm not going to lie, Jessie has a great body and she does look very good in a bikini, but she ain't no Ashley.

Not even close.

"Yeah right." I snort. "There's only one girl I have my eye on and she isn't you."

"Ah yes, Ashley Davies, how could I forget." Jessie jokes. "All kidding aside though, it seems like your plan to seduce her is going well."

"It's not about seducing her." It really isn't. "I'm not looking to get into Ashley's pants, I'm looking to get into her heart."

Corny, perhaps, but very true.

Jessie makes some very loud gagging noises. "Oh my word, that has to be the gayest thing you have ever said to me."

I slap her on the leg. "Shut up."

Jessie turns her head and flashes me that same look my mother did not too long ago. "You've really fallen for her, haven't you?"

Over and over again.

Literally.

I bite my bottom lip but I don't try and hide my blush this time, there's really no point. "So hard."

Jessie smiles, "I wish you the best of luck then and if you need any help let me know."

That's why I love Jessie, she really cares about me and she genuinely wants me to be happy.

I'm very lucky to have her.

"I'll keep that in mind." You never know when reinforcements might be needed. "You rock!"

"I know I do." She smirks but then I notice another change in her expression. "Speaking of rock, what's with the outfit?"

Shoot, what a bad choice of words on my part.

I knew I was going to get slack from her but I hoped she wouldn't notice what I was wearing.

"You know me man, I'm all about rocking out." I curl my middle and ring finger into the palm of my hand and make the international sign for rock and roll. "Woo!"

Jessie giggles, "I will give you a thousand dollars if you can name one Motley Crue song."

She thinks she's so smart!

I'll show her.

Think Spencer, think!

They're a famous band, right?

Which means I should know at least one of their songs, right?

It doesn't help that Jessie is humming the Jeopardy theme song as I try to wrack my head for a song title.

"Times up." Jessie sings out. "You have to give me an answer."

Oh I don't know.

I blurt the first song title that comes to my head. "Blame it on the rain?"

"That is wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin." Jessie teases and the glint in her eye tells me she's going to store that one in her head for later.

What?

I normally would have given a better answer but two naked Ashley's just popped into my mind.

Yummy!

"Whatever." I reply dismissively as I stand up. "I know how to rock out." I start head banging and jumping around. "Look what I can do."

Jessie waves both her hands at me, "Uh Spence…"

I ignore her as I get more into my performance. "I'm a superstar. " I scream before I start playing a mean air guitar.

Jessie's arms start moving even more frantically. "Seriously Spence…"

"I'm so hot, I'm on fire." I continue.

"Spencer!" Jessie shouts.

Oh no!

I cease all my movements as my eyes widen in fear. "She's behind me, isn't she?" I whisper to Jessie.

She nods her head very fast.

Why am I not surprised?

I slowly turn around and I'm sure my face matches the color of my car right about now. "Hey Ash, nice to see you again."

Ashley is trying to suppress her laughter, "Nice to see you as well."

I am such a tool!

"Well I should go get changed before dinner starts." Jessie says as she wraps her towel around the lower half of her body. "See you guys soon." She smiles at Ashley as she walks by her and I'm very happy to report that Ashley doesn't check her out.

Wait.

Does that mean that there's no chance she's gay?

No, stop it, enough of trying to over analyze things Spencer, just go with the flow.

"Where's Aiden?" I ask.

Oh yes!

She told him not to come because she wants to see me without him around.

"He's inside with your mom." Ashley explains.

Oh well, a girl can dream.

"He offered to help her with dinner." She continues.

What an ass kisser.

"I offered too but your mom wouldn't let me." Ashley finishes.

Aw, Ashley is so sweet!

And she's already trying to impress my mom, that's a good sign.

I think.

"I'm glad you made it." I tell her and like clockwork I feel myself blushing again.

Ashley flashes me an almost bashful smile. "I told you I would, didn't I?"

I want to run over and hug her but I restrain myself. I do notice however that she's changed her shirt to one that hides one of her best features.

Too bad!

But I can see her point, she doesn't want to appear too eager in front of her soon to be in-laws.

Smart girl.

"So how much of my performance did you catch?" I ask despite the fact that I don't really want to know the answer.

"All of it." Ashley replies with a gleam in her eye.

"Just so you know I was practicing for a play I'm going to be in." I lie.

In my defense, it sounded better in my head then it did when it came out my mouth.

"Be sure to get me tickets to that show." Ashley says in that sassy way I've come to adore.

"I hope you brought your appetite, my mom's cooking is amazing."

"I did." Ashley assures me. "But there's actually something I wanted to talk to about before we eat."

"Everything ok?" Her smile has faded and now I'm nervous.

Ashley gives me one quick nod, "Yeah everything's fine, it's just that…"

"Dinner's ready." My mom announces. "Everybody into the dining room."

"We'll talk after, ok?" I ask as Ashley and I start walking towards the house.

Great, I'm going to be worrying about what's on her mind all night.

Ashley folds her arms across her chest. "Sure, it's no big deal or anything."

Why am I not so sure she's being honest?

Oh well, nothing I can do except hope I'm wrong.

"So you ready to meet the family." I joke once we reach the sliding door.

Ashley chuckles, "I've already met everybody, haven't I?"

"Everybody except Clay." I tell her. "But that was different, you're about to see us all together, it's not the same thing."

"Should I be worried?" She asks and she seems genuinely concerned.

"Nah, I was just teasing you." Sort of.

Ashley Davies is about to meet 'The Carlins'.

I should wish her luck.

She's going to need it.

And for the record, so am I.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

When Ashley and I arrive at the dinner table everyone is already seated.

There goes my master plan of us sitting together.

My dad is at one end of the table, my mother at the other end and all us kids are expected to sit in the middle.

I'm about to say something to Ashley when I notice her eyes go straight to Clay. That's not an unusual reaction considering it's very obvious that he is adopted.

I don't love him any less though, Clay is my brother just like Glen is and he's always been there when I needed him.

"Don't you think Clay has my mother's eyes?" I whisper in Ashley's ear. She looks at me in complete disbelief and that's when I decide to let her off the hook. "You know I was only kidding, right?"

"I figured as much." Ashley replies but I can tell I had her going for a minute.

"Move it Spence, I'm hungry." Glen groans. He did clean up pretty nice I have to say, however, the dirty look he's shooting in my direction lets me know he still irked with me.

"Keep your pants on, I'm here aren't I?" I fire back.

Glen is about to make another snide remark when my dad steps in. "Now, now, we do have guests so I expect everyone to be on their best behavior." He glances over at Glen and then over at me.

"She started it." Glen sneers.

I'm about to beat him down when I remember Ashley is beside me.

Acting like a child is probably not the best way to impress her.

I should be the mature one, like I always am.

"Did not." I whine.

Do they make muzzles for humans?

If the answer is yes, I should definitely get one for myself.

My dad points his finger at his two rowdy kids. "Behave."

"Yes dad." Glen and I reply at the same time.

Ashley must think I'm a total dofus.

I work up the courage to look at her and I'm pleasantly surprised to see her smiling. It doesn't seem forced or something she's doing to be polite either.

Clay gets up from his chair and walks over to us. "Hi I'm Clay, nice to meet you." He sticks his hand out for Ashley to shake.

"I'm Ashley." She replies as she accepts his welcoming gesture.

After they're done greeting each other Clay gives me a hug and then he returns to his seat next to my mother.

I am disappointed that Ashley and I won't be sitting side by side but I understand why she grabs the empty spot next to Aiden. I do take comfort in the fact that I'm sitting opposite her though, that should give me ample time to sneak peeks at her during the meal. I have my dad on my left and Jessie on my right and thankfully Glen is next to her so I don't have to hear him bitching all night.

"Let's say grace before we begin." My dad announces.

Ashley is caught off guard by his announcement and I gather she isn't used to saying grace. My dad rescues her by taking her hand and motioning for her to grab Aiden's. We exchange a brief smile and then all of us bow our heads.

"God bless the food we are about to receive." My dad starts. "I am very grateful to be surrounded by my family and all of us are thankful for the many blessings that have been bestowed on us. I would also like to welcome our two guests."

I open one eye to see how Ashley is doing and the same smile she had on her face before is there again.

"And I pray that we are all kept safe and can look forward to many more meals shared together in our future." My dad finishes.

I'll say Amen to that, except my future does not include Aiden in it.

"Amen." The table replies together.

"It's nice to see you again Ashley." My dad says as we begin our meal.

"You too Mr. C., thanks for having us." Ashley replies and I can't keep my eyes off of her.

There's just something about the way she looks tonight that draws me to her more than I usually am.

"Spencer was the one who invited you not me." He jokes. "But you're always welcome here." Ashley smiles brightly at my father. "And not to bring up business at the dinner table but I just wanted to say how happy I am that you decided to have our firm represent you."

"Well your daughter made it pretty difficult to say no." Ashley tells him before she turns her smile towards me.

I don't think I've ever been as disarmed as I feel in this moment.

I ignore the snickers coming from Jessie and Glen because of the way Ashley is gazing at me.

"She's a regular chip off the old block." My dad replies as he tussles my hair.

"Dad!" I groan and I can feel my cheeks burning.

Who needs blush when being around or talking to Ashley makes me red in the face all the time.

I'm going to save a ton of money on make-up.

"She sure is." Ashley concurs.

I dare anyone to tell me that there's somebody in the world sweeter than Ashley.

"And now that you've signed on the dotted line I don't have to worry about anyone stealing you from under my nose." My dad teases but a part of him is being serious.

My eyes go wide and Ashley appears confused, rightfully so.

"I didn't sign anything." Ashley says and I think I'm close to having a heart attack.

"You know the contract Spencer had you sign." My dad explains.

I frantically try to communicate with Ashley without using words but I don't think she understands me.

I'm in so much trouble.

"I'm still not following Mr. C." Ashley replies.

Big, big trouble.

My dad furrows his brow at me, "Spencer, I thought I told you…"

I rub my temples as I send a telepathic message to Ashley.

"Oh that contract." Ashley cuts in. "Sorry, it's been a very busy afternoon, it must have slipped my mind."

Success!

Ashley Davies to the rescue!

She really is my hero.

"No problem I'm just glad we got that settled." My dad says as I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

When I think it's safe I look over at Ashley and mouth "thank you" to her. She grins and mouths "you're welcome" right back. We end up staring at one another as everyone else gets caught up in grabbing some food.

Aiden interrupts our moment as by asking Ashley what she wants to eat.

And to think D.B. I was just starting to like you.

I reach over to take some salad when my mother catches my eye.

She has a warm smile on her face that unnerves me to no end.

What I thought would be a nice family meal has me so stressed out because of all my conflicting emotions I'm not sure what could happen next.

"So Ashley, why don't you tell us about yourself." My mother says and I can't figure out if she's trying to help me or not.

Ashley shifts around in her chair, she's noticeably uncomfortable and I think it's time I rescue her.

"Mom!" I let out louder then I would have liked. "Don't interrogate her, this isn't the Spanish Inquisition."

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

"That's ok, I don't mind." Ashley's voice is soft and my mom looks at me in triumph.

The entire table turns their attention over to Ashley. As much as my mom's question bugged me, I have to admit I am curious by what she's going to tell us.

See, I'm a new improved Spencer, only concerned with learning more about the girl that will be mine.

Argh, I still hear evil laughing in my head.

I'll have to work on that.

Ashley plays with her fork before she begins. "Well, I'm Ashley Davies." The table titters in response.

She's not only beautiful but she's also funny.

Hmm, sounds like someone I know.

Ashley clears her throat as her eyes drop down to her plate. "I assume most of you have heard of my father."

Everyone nods their head, everyone except me that is.

I have no clue who Ashley's dad is, we haven't had the opportunity to discuss that yet.

"I haven't." I admit. Jessie kicks me under the table for some unknown reason.

Ashley lifts her head and I'm shocked at the profound sadness that greets me when we make eye contact.

You'd think I'd get the hint not to purse this subject further.

But I don't.

"Should I know him?" I ask her before I get kicked again, only it's my dad who hits me not Jessie. "Ow, what is wrong with asking Ashley about her father?" I look around the table and everyone has their heads down.

"It's ok Spence." Ashley says and my eyes are drawn back to her. "He was the lead singer of a band in the '80s, most people know who he is."

Remember, I'm not most people.

I get it, he's some washed up rock star and I should be more sensitive considering his daughter is about to hit the big time.

Right?

Wrong.

Very, very wrong.

"Leave it alone." Jessie whispers in my ear.

I don't listen, of course, but only because I'm genuine in my desire to know Ashley better.

"He must be so proud of you." I remark. My stomach drops when I hear quite a few gasps and an incredibly awful silence follows my statement.

What did I do?

I really don't understand.

"He uhm, he passed away when I was a teenager." Ashley explains.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I cannot believe what an absolute idiot I am.

Even when I'm not trying to impress Ashley I do something so profoundly moronic.

What is wrong with me?

Seriously, I just can't do right by this girl.

"I am so sorry." I tell her and now I want to kick myself.

No wonder she looked upset and I couldn't even pick up on that.

Aiden places his hand over Ashley's and I don't even react. How can I, when I'm the one who put a huge damper on this evening?

"It's not your fault." Ashley replies.

I know she's just saying that to make me feel better and it doesn't work. With the way I've acted over the last three days, I don't deserve her.

"I'm still sorry." I feel like a certifiable heel.

I become fascinated with my plate as Ashley continues her introduction.

"I just moved to Los Angeles a few weeks ago to pursue a career in the music business and I've been lucky to meet such nice people." She finishes.

Normally, that kind of statement would have had me dancing in the streets, but now, it just makes me want to crawl under the table until after dinner.

Why can't I do anything right?

"And what about you Aiden?" My mom inquires.

The need to flee overwhelms me so I mutter something about getting a drink and get out of there as quick as I can. I head for the fridge so I can bang my head against it.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

I repeat those words silently as I try to knock myself out.

I was worried that my family was going to embarrass me but I managed to do that all on my own.

Typical.

So fucking typical.

Not only did I make Ashley tell me her father was dead, which is mortifying enough, I ran out of there so fast she must think I'm an awful person.

That's when I feel a hand on my shoulder and hear her voice. "Spencer?"

Oh god, I can't face her.

I really, really can't.

I keep getting knocked down but there are only so many times I can get back up.

I don't understand why this has to be so hard and I certainly don't understand why she keeps coming after me.

"I can get you a drink too if you want." I say with my back to Ashley. "You go enjoy your dinner."

I don't want to see that look in her eyes again, I don't have the heart to.

"Spencer look at me." Ashley commands and for the first time I don't obey. That doesn't stop Ashley though. "You didn't do anything wrong, please don't be upset."

It's worse than I thought.

She's trying to comfort me after I screwed up.

Again.

I still don't respond because I figure I can't make any more mistakes if I keep my trap shut.

A lesson I should have learned a long time ago.

Ashley isn't one to give up, she spins me around and she keeps one of her hands on my shoulder. "Hey, it's really no big deal."

I can't leave her hanging despite my belief that nothing good can came out of my mouth. That's not fair to her. "I'm really sorry Ash, if I would have known…"

"I know." She says softly.

"I keep messing up in front of you." I reply in a moment of complete honesty that catches me by surprise.

"How?" She asks and she keeps talking so I guess her question was rhetorical. "By being nice to me, by agreeing to keep an eye on me when Aiden's in New York." If I wasn't feeling so sorry for myself I'd take note of the fact that Aiden shared that information with her. "By inviting me over to a great dinner, yeah you're a real jerk." I don't want to laugh because I'm still mad at myself but I do. "It's nice to see you smile."

I can't hold back after how nice Ashley was to me. I pull her in for a hug to silently say thanks and I also hope that in that hug she understands how amazing I think she is.

"Is everything ok in here?" My mom's voice breaks our embrace.

"Yeah we're good." I assure her.

My mom nods her head before leaving and I'm relieved she didn't make any kind of witty remark.

"You ready to head back to the table?" Ashley asks so sweetly my insides turn to mush.

She really is something else and I mean that in the best way possible.

I nod, "Yeah I'm ready."

"Good I'm starving." Ashley jokes and we share a laugh together.

Together.

I love the sound of that.

Ashley grabs my hand and leads me back to dining room.

It's a move I'm sure she doesn't mean anything by, but it makes my heart beat incredibly fast in my chest.

Let's see if I can make it through the rest of the meal without doing anything wrong.

It's not likely, but miracles do happen.

Right?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Ashley and I return to the table right in the middle of Aiden's life story. My brother is hanging onto every word coming out of Aiden's mouth and I wonder if anyone besides Jessie and I notice.

I try to be a good person and listen, seeing as it is the polite thing to do but my mind is elsewhere.

It's in the same place it's been for the last three days.

Ashley.

She took my hand to pull me back to dinner like it was no big deal, but for me it was a huge one.

Not the gesture itself, I could interpret the meaning of that for days, I'm more focused on the way it made me feel. I'm not going to lie, I've been with my fair share of woman and yet with Ashley she's made me feel more with her clothes on than any of them did naked.

I'm not saying I've never been in love before, I have, with one person, but now I'm starting to doubt what I felt for her. I force myself to rejoin the conversation because I really don't want to take a stroll down memory lane at this moment and I certainly have no desire to relive the pain she caused me.

"…and I also enjoying playing basketball in my spare time." Aiden finishes before he takes another bite of my mom's pot roast.

I don't think anyone misses the excited squeal coming from my brother.

I can only imagine the images he's forming in his head of Aiden being all sweaty after a game of one-on-one.

Actually, I don't want to imagine that at all.

I would like to finish my meal and now I'm not sure I can.

I close my eyes and conjure up the only thing that will help in a situation like this.

Ah, naked Ashley, it's good to have you back.

"You know." My dad starts and I'm sad to say he made naked Ashley disappear. "Glen was the captain of his high school basketball team." He grins proudly at Glen, missing completely the embarrassment he's causing him. Hey, at least it's not me. "They even won the state championship his senior year."

"Dad, do you really have to do that?" Glen groans as his cheeks turn a similar shade to mine when I do something stupid. "Nobody cares."

"I think that's pretty cool man." Aiden says.

Glen smiles so wide I'm afraid he might pull a muscle. "Maybe we can play together sometime?"

Aiden smiles as well, "That sounds great." If you looked up the definition of happy in the dictionary you'd see a picture of what Glen looks like right this second. "I haven't played in a few months though so I might be rusty."

"No problem, I'll take it easy one you." I can hear Glen trying to contain his excitement, it's very cute.

That doesn't mean I can't have fun with him though.

"You know what would be even better?" I turn to my father. "If you and Clay joined them, I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

I don't need to look at Glen to know his reaction.

Maybe next time he'll think twice before he smears peanut butter all over my phone at work like he did last week.

He probably thought I forgot about that.

Sucker!

"What a great idea Spence." My dad says.

Oh Glen, payback is a bitch.

"You are an evil woman." Jessie whispers to me.

I finally glance over at Glen and I'm thankful looks can't kill because if they could, I'd be very dead. I wink at him and I'm sure if Aiden wasn't here he'd reach over and punch me.

Hey look at that, I think I just cheered myself up.

"Actually I'm going to be tied up with exams over the next few weeks so count me out." Clay says and if I didn't know better I'd guess he was making that up.

Glen appears to be breathing easier, "School is important, you can join us another time dad."

"Well that might work out for me because I'm going back to New York on Friday and I won't be back for two weeks." Aiden announces.

Have you ever been around a kid when they discover the truth about Santa Claus?

That's the best way to describe Glen's face at this moment and now I do feel a little bad for him.

I know, I know, I'm amazing like that.

"Maybe you two can squeeze in a game before you leave?" I suggest.

I do believe I just got back on Glen's good side.

I can tell because he doesn't look like he wants to throttle me anymore.

"I don't know if I have any time." Aiden replies.

I'm afraid Glen might start to cry and that's when Ashley pipes up. "I'm sure you can fit in a few hours to play with Glen before you go."

Ashley Davies…hero to another Carlin.

Her awesomeness knows no bounds.

"Let me know what works for you." Aiden says to my brother.

Glen is bouncing around in his chair, "We can talk about it after dinner."

"Cool." Aiden replies.

I look over at Ashley and our eyes connect immediately. She smiles at me and once again I'm lost in her.

She's smiling that smile that makes me forget that she's sitting beside her boyfriend and it also makes me forget that there's anyone else in the room beside her.

I really don't understand how I can get so much out of a smile but I do.

So damn much.

The conversation turns to Clay and medical school and my mind begins to wander.

For once I keep quiet and don't interject the conversation with any smart remarks.

What I do instead is watch.

I watch as Ashley listens to him, asks questions and just fits in with seemingly no difficulty whatsoever.

I listen as the focus goes back to her and in no time she's entertaining the table with stories about herself growing up. How she would sneak out with her father and all the places he'd take her when he was home from his tour.

I see her laugh, but behind that sound I'll never get sick of hearing is underlying sadness that's not hard to detect.

It's amazing what I can observe when I'm not caught up in my own thoughts.

It doesn't even bother me that much when her and Aiden start teasing each other. But that's probably because it doesn't go on too long and then Ashley is asking my parents about how they first met.

I've heard that story a hundred times, which allows me to continue to watch Ashley like a hawk.

"Why are you so quiet?" Jessie whispers. I think she's heard my parents' story almost as many times as I have.

"No reason." I whisper back.

She leans right into me and I turn to face her. "If you're upset about earlier, don't be, you didn't know. But for future reference when I kick you in the leg, that means shut the fuck up."

I chuckle, "Yeah I get that now."

"What are you two whispering about?" My dad asks.

"Nothing." Jessie and I reply together as we separate.

My dad shakes his head, "You know I'll never understand why things didn't work out between you two."

Have I ever mentioned that my dad has a really big mouth?

Well, he does and the expression of surprise on Ashley's face at his revelation is quite apparent.

It's not like I was going to hide my past with Jessie but I was going to bring it up at a more appropriate time.

Ashley isn't smiling anymore by the way.

"We were together for like two minutes, it was no big deal." I say to him, but I'm really giving my answer to Ashley.

"No need to get defensive Spencer, it was just an observation." My dad replies.

"Besides we're better off friends." Jessie interjects.

I'll have to thank her for that later.

"Arthur, leave Spencer alone." My mom scolds.

I'll have to thank her as well.

"I just think they make a cute couple." He turns to Ashley. "Don't you think Jessie and Spencer would make a cute couple?"

I'm going to kill him!

And I'm sure I'd have grounds for justifiable homicide.

"Yeah, real cute." Ashley replies but she still seems pissed.

She avoids eye contact with me even though I'm trying to get her attention.

"See, Ashley agrees with me." My dad says ever so smugly.

I need someone to come to my rescue and something tells me it won't be Ashley who does this time.

She's gone very quiet and she's playing with her food instead of eating it.

My rescuer comes from a very unlikely source.

Aiden.

"This pot roast is delicious Mrs. Carlin." He says to my mom.

My mom never gets tired of hearing people compliment her cooking. "Please, call me Paula and thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it."

Aiden's smiling and Ashley still won't look in my direction. "It's been so long since Ash and I have had such a great home cooked meal."

Why does she seem mad?

"Thanks Mrs. C." Ashley mumbles.

My mom is absolutely beaming, "I think I just found my two favorite people." The table laughs, except for me, I'm too busy staring at Ashley.

Hold up.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Right?

So why is Ashley upset?

I refuse to believe it's because she's jealous because that would make my year.

"Now wait just a minute Paula, I think they should have a chance to taste my barbequing skills before someone hands you the title of worlds best cook." My dad chimes in.

My parents are highly competitive.

This could get ugly.

I'm in panic mode though so I don't even attempt to change the topic.

Is it really possible that Ashley could be jealous?

I'm sure it's just indigestion.

"It wouldn't even be close." My mom boasts.

Everyone's eyes shift back to my dad, like we're at a tennis match.

My dad leans over the table, "That sounds like a challenge to me."

"Maybe it is." My mom smirks.

I sit back in my chair and sigh, Ashley is making a point to look anywhere but at me.

"Well, we are having a barbeque this Saturday." I'm almost tempted to do something idiotic to get a reaction out of Ashley. "I know you won't be here Aiden, but Ashley can be the one to judge who is the better cook."

"Arthur, don't put Ashley on the spot, she probably has plans already." My mom says.

"Sounds to me like you're scared." My dad teases.

"She doesn't." Aiden proclaims and wow does he get a fierce look from Ashley for his efforts.

"Excellent." My dad does his best Mr. Burns impression. "I can't wait for you to lose." He says to my mom.

My mom doesn't seem scared, "Bring it on Arthur."

"Oy vey." Jessie whispers to herself.

Ashley on the other hand isn't sold on the idea. "I don't know…"

Jessie elbows my side, "Do something."

Ow!

"I can pick you up." I offer.

Yes!

Ashley is finally making eye contact with me.

"I really don't mind." I continue. "I should warn you though my dad will hound you if you say no."

It's so good to see Ashley's smile come back.

I breathe an internal sigh of relief.

"If you're sure." Ashley says to me.

"She's sure." My dad replies before I can. "You girls should come over early for a swim."

"Ok Mr. C., if you insist." Ashley replies.

Whoa.

Did I hear correctly?

Ashley agreed to come swimming, with me!

I wonder if she'll be wearing a bikini?

Ashley in a bikini!

Someone must have turned off the air conditioning because I suddenly feel very flushed.

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Man alive!

Those four words have rendered me speechless.

"What a great idea dad." Glen declares. "I'll make sure to come over for a swim as well."

That rat bastard!

I'm going to rip his fucking head off.

"Glen you silly goose." Jessie laughs. "You already promised to go shopping with me on Saturday. Don't worry Arthur, we won't miss the meal though."

I have never loved Jessie as much as I do right now.

I turn to Glen and give him a sweet smile, "That's too bad, maybe next time."

Ashley in a bikini!

I'm in a tizzy again.

I shift in my chair as I get sidetracked by some very inappropriate thoughts.

Ashley in a bikini!

My dad clasps his hands together, "Good, it's decided then."

The conversation stats flowing once more and I'm so relieved that whatever was bugging Ashley before doesn't seem to be an issue anymore.

Ashley in a bikini!

Our eyes catch every so often and each time that happens my heart flutters.

Ashley in a bikini!

Enough!

This is so not the time to drooling over Ashley.

I'm so engrossed in finding a way to control my raging hormones that I don't notice at first that my dad is talking to me.

"Sorry, what was that?" I ask him because I've been off in Ashley land.

Don't worry, I got my hand stamped for re-entry.

Oh that sounded a lot dirtier than I meant it to.

"I wanted to know what happened to your head." My dad explains.

Not this again.

Glen and Jessie are giggling beside me.

Jessie you get a free pass because you saved me earlier.

Glen on the other hand, he's made my list.

I hear a strange noise coming from the other side of the table so I look up.

Ashley's laughing too!

But I'm going to let that slide because she's Ashley after all.

She better look damn good in a bikini though.

Ashley in a bikini!

I really need to control myself better.

"I took a very minor spill." I tell him, and I hope that's vague enough that he'll drop the subject.

Yeah, it wasn't.

My dad looks over at Ashley and Aiden. "That's our Spencer." He tussles my hair for the second time tonight and I nearly stab his hand with my fork. "You don't even want to know how much money we spent on band-aids when she was growing up."

He just made my list too!

Ashley in a bikini!

Nope didn't work, I'm still not happy with him.

"Nobody wants to hear about that." I say hoping we can move onto something else.

"Remember her fifth birthday party?" Clay asks.

Not you too Clay, my family sucks!

"How could I forget?" My mom jokes. "She made quite the entrance."

Are you there God? It's me Spencer.

Please help me in this my darkest hour.

"That she did." Glen agrees.

I hate them all.

"I don't think I've ever heard his story before." Jessie says.

Each and every one of them.

My mother is too far gone in the memory to notice me begging her to stop with my eyes. "She was very excited because I had bought her a new dress that she couldn't wait to show off."

I bury my head in my hands as I accept, however begrudgingly, that I can't do anything to silence her.

"She was prancing around all morning when she got the brilliant idea that she wanted me to announce her presence when all the guests had arrived." My mom chuckles and it takes her a while to regain her composure before she can get the rest of the story out. "I tried to change her mind but once Spencer gets her mind on something she can be very stubborn."

"I was five." I say in my defense.

Ashley's attention is diverted for a split second and then she goes back to listening to my mom.

"So everyone gathers at the bottom of the stairs as I make the big announcement." She continues. "Spencer walked down the stairs too fast for her own good because she was so excited and somehow managed to launch herself into the air."

I told you I had many talents.

That's not even the worst part.

At this point there's not one person who isn't laughing, besides me of course.

"Arthur was just walking into the room with her My Little Pony cake."

My Little Pony is cool thank-you very much.

"And Spencer landed head first in the cake." My mother finishes.

The room erupts in laughter and despite how mortified I am, I find myself joining in.

I cried for hours afterwards and refused to leave my room.

I really loved that dress.

"That's adorable." Ashley says to me as she clutches her stomach.

Thankfully she hasn't seen the photographs.

My dad said if anyone had the video camera on at the time we could have won some serious money.

"It really was." My mother states when she's composed herself. "I'll show you the pictures after dinner."

Gah!

I really need to stop jinxing myself like that.

"No you won't." I grit my teeth as I raise my eyebrow to my mother.

"Can we please talk about something else?" I beg.

My mother takes pity on me and soon enough we're onto another subject.

The rest of the meal passes with relatively no embarrassing moments for myself and after dessert is served I start to relax.

"Let me help you clear the dishes." Ashley offers.

She is definitely scoring points with my mom.

My mom shakes her head, "Nonsense Ashley, you're a guest in our house."

"That's ok, I don't mind." Ashley stands up and begins gathering the plates together.

"I'll help too." I say and I swear my gesture has nothing to do with impressing Ashley.

It has more to do with the fact that I might get some alone time with her.

"No!" My family shouts at the same time.

"I'll be fine, I promise." I assure them.

Seriously, they're overreacting just a little bit.

Ok, ok, maybe their reaction is justifiable.

Maybe.

One time I was cleaning up after dinner and I walked right into a wall, breaking all of my mom's good china. The wall came out of nowhere though, much like the street sign I hit earlier today.

My mom never asked me to help clear the table again.

I did replace her dishes with a very fine set I'll have you know.

I'm right behind Ashley before anyone can stop me.

Ashley's behind.

Scrumptious.

I have to behave or I will have an accident.

I make it safely into the kitchen and after I put the plates in the sink I turn to Ashley.

"Are you having fun?" I ask her.

She nods enthusiastically, "Thanks again for inviting me over tonight, I'm having a blast."

I want to ask her why she got upset earlier but I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

She seems fine now and I was probably reading too much into her reaction.

That and I'm a total weenie.

Maybe I'll talk to her when we're swimming together on Saturday.

Ashley in a bikini!

My mom comes rushing into the kitchen. "You girls need to come to the living room quickly."

"What's wrong?" I ask and Ashley also looks concerned.

"You're father's setting up the easels." My mom explains. "And we decided to have it men versus women."

I should have anticipated this and told my mom a big fat no to games night.

Ashley looks between my mom and me. "What's going on?"

My mom grabs Ashley by the shoulder. "You are in for a treat. It's going to be a Pictionary battle royal and the boys are going down."

"Mom." I whine. "I'm sure Ashley doesn't want to play."

Ashley nudges my shoulder with hers. "It sounds like fun Spence."

That's because she hasn't played with my family before.

Things get pretty heated, not much of a surprise considering Glen, Clay and I are just as competitive as my parents.

"I thought we weren't going to play Pictionary again after what happened last time." I say in an attempt to change my mom's mind.

"Don't be such a party pooper, live a little." My mom replies before she leaves. "The girls are in; Arthur prepare to get your ass kicked."

"Yeah Spence, don't be a party pooper." Ashley laughs as she heads to the living room.

That girl has no idea what she's in for.

I reluctantly join my family despite the reservations I have.

I guess there's no turning back now, I might as well have some fun.

Let the games begin.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The living room has been divided into two sides.

Men on one side, women on the other.

I slide in next to the empty spot beside Ashley.

Yay!

"We're about to prove who the superior sex is." My father brags.

"That's right, we are." My mom replies as she looks at Jessie, Ashley and me. "Am I right girls?"

I forgot how much my parents like to trash talk each other.

I'm not sure how I could forget, they're notorious for it.

Let's hope it doesn't get too embarrassing.

For me that is.

My teammates and I hoot and holler in response to my mom's question.

My father stands up and walks over to my mom. "Care to make it interesting?"

The guys encourage my dad as they do some sort of man chant. Glen is positively glowing after Aiden high fives him.

"Don't let him intimidate you." Jessie yells.

"That's right Mrs. C., we're going to show those boys who rules." Ashley adds. She looks so darn cute getting all excited like she is.

I might as well get my two cents in also. "Girl power!"

My mom is definitely not backing down now. She gives us two big thumbs up before she addresses my dad. "Loser washes the dishes tonight."

"That's lame." Glen shouts.

Even Clay, the quiet one, gets into the spirit of things. "You guys can do better than that."

Aiden slings has arm around Glen and Clay's shoulder. "I agree with my boys."

I think Glen just died and went to heaven.

"How about the losers have to serve the other side at the barbeque on Saturday?" My dad suggests.

"But Aiden won't be there." Jessie points out.

He smirks at her, "That's ok, my boys can enjoy getting waited on without me."

"You're way too cocky for you own good." Ashley admonishes him.

"No he's not." Glen exclaims. "Aiden just knows how much of a butt whooping you ladies are going to get."

"That's big talk coming from you." I boast.

My dad waves his arms around to get our attention. "Ok, ok, let's not get too carried away." He sticks his hand out towards my mom. "What do you say Paula, deal?"

My mom doesn't even hesitate. "It's going to be so sweet watching you have to wait on us hand and foot."

They shake hands and all of us start clapping.

"Wait a minute, how do you play Pictionary again?" Aiden asks.

My team howls with laughter.

This is going to be easier than I thought.

Glen rolls his eyes before he launches into an explanation of the rules.

Ashley adjusts her position on the couch so she's facing me. "Is it like this every time when you come over for dinner?"

I chuckle softly, "Pretty much. I told you it's different when we're all together. We tend to get a little crazy."

Or a lot crazy depending on how you look at it.

"I think it's great." Ashley replies.

"I'll have to ask you if you still think that way once we're done." I whisper as I inch my way over to her.

Ashley in a bikini!

"Ok." Ashley says as her hand comes in contact with my thigh. I don't have any time to react before she pulls away but the heat generated by her touch leaves me breathless.

I'm actually not sure I can survive seeing Ashley in a bikini or what might happen if I ever get the chance to see her naked.

There's a very good chance I'll spontaneously combust.

My mom pulls out the game board and offers the dice to my father. "Losers dice first."

My dad throws the dice back at my mom. "Please, ladies first, I insist."

I can see where this is going so I stand up and roll a ten. "Good luck beating that." I return to the couch and get congratulated by Jessie and Ashley.

My dad rolls a seven and we're off.

My mom pulls out a card and then she announces that it's an all play clue. She decides to draw first and so does my dad. Glen is about to turn the timer when my mom 'accidentally' knocks the marker out of my dad's hand.

"Resorting to dirty tricks won't allow you to win." My dad smirks.

"Let's just start." I suggest before things get ugly.

Us girls huddle together as do the boys. I'm sitting slightly ahead of Ashley and I can feel her breath on my ear.

Ashley in a bikini!

I'm so caught up in a very interesting daydream about Ashley in a bikini that I don't even notice that Jessie guessed the correct answer first. I do however feel Ashley's body pressed against mine when my mom pulls us all in for a group hug to celebrate.

This is going to be a very long night for me.

Jessie gets up and rolls the dice and wouldn't you know she draws an all play card again. She squares off against Glen and the two of them jabber on for a few minutes before we get going again.

"Duck." I scream.

My mom shakes her head at me, "It's an object Spencer, pay attention."

Oops.

"Submarine." Ashley yells right by my ear.

I come very close to moving away from her, but I'll suffer any type of pain to remain inches from Ashley.

"Yes." Jessie pumps her fist in the air and another group hug follows.

It's my turn next.

"Getting scared boys?" My mom asks in a very sweet voice.

"We're just getting warmed up." My dad replies but I can tell his confidence is faltering.

Once I've moved our game piece I pull out my card.

What the hell?

It's another all play clue.

And guess who my opponent is?

Oh D.B., I'm going to enjoy this.

"Get ready to lose." I tell Aiden as we stand at the easel together.

"Not going to happen." Aiden says in a very annoying manner.

The clue is kissing and I know this will be a walk in the park.

Ashley in a bikini!

I forget about drawing as an image of me kissing Ashley pops into my head.

I can almost taste it.

"Kissing." Clay shouts.

Oops again.

The four guys start beating on their chests in victory.

How Neanderthal of them!

"What is wrong with you?" My mom asks when I return to my seat.

"Sorry." I sheepishly reply. I can't tell her the reason for my brain cramp.

My mom smacks me upside the head, not hard though. "Wake up."

See I told you things can get out of hand.

"Sorry mom." I hang my head and then Ashley's mouth is by my ear again.

"Don't worry Spence, I'll make sure to kick ass when it's my turn." She whispers.

I want to drag her out of the living room and show her my gratitude for being so nice in a variety of different ways and positions.

Ashley in a bikini!

The game goes on for about an hour and we end up in a dead heat.

Jessie stands up to draw, if we get the correct answer we win, if we don't the boys have a chance and that just can't happen.

My mom is in between Ashley and me as we wait for Jessie to draw.

Too bad!

"We can do this." My mom encourages us.

"Hope the pressure doesn't get to you Jessie." My dad jokes.

Glen, Clay and Aiden make choking noises to get under Jessie's skin.

Jessie sticks on hand on her hip before she looks back at the other team. "Nice try boys, but I thrive on pressure." Jessie moves the marker around the paper as a hush falls over the crowd.

I want to win so badly.

"Strap-on." I scream before I can censor myself.

My mom looks horrified. "Spencer!"

"Yell at me later, we have to concentrate." I reply as I try not to react to my screaming that answer in front of my family and Ashley.

Ashley shoots off her chair, "Elephant!"

Jessie throws the marker as her arms go flying into air. "Yes, yes, yes!"

I'd like to tell you that we handled our victory with grace and humility but that would be a big fat lie. The four of us start hugging and jumping around like mad women.

It feels so good to be on the winning side.

Ha!

Girls rule!

Ain't that the truth.

The four losers take their lickings quite well but that doesn't stop us whatsoever.

At one point during our victory dance I look over at Ashley. She's laughing and embracing my mother. She seems so happy and I take a mental picture in my mind because so I will always remember that image.

For a second everything is perfect.

Ashley has taken quite the liking to my family and it's safe to say the feeling is very mutual. Every time I've worried about how Ashley would react to something, I've worried for nothing. She fits in so well with everybody that it makes me warm inside.

But that second passes quickly and the perfection is gone.

All sorts of thoughts I don't want to be having coming rushing at me at once. I close my eyes hoping they'll go away but they don't.

My mom is taking orders for tea and coffee so I use that distraction to slip outside.

I head for the backyard, with my bottle of beer in hand, and take a seat at the table we use to eat when my dad barbeques.

I take a sip of my drink as I face what's bothering me.

As much as seeing Ashley make nice with my family is a good thing it also allows some doubts that weren't there before to creep into my subconscious.

Ashley isn't going home with me tonight, she's going home with her boyfriend and I can't change that no matter how much I want to. She isn't mine and the fact is she might never be. Whatever she has with Aiden can't be erased simply because I feel in my gut that we belong together.

And it hurts.

It hurts and I wish it didn't.

If it hurts now, what's going to happen when Aiden returns in two weeks? How am I going to feel if they're still a couple months from now? How much will it hurt then?

I'm not saying I'm giving up on Ashley because I'm too far gone for that to happen.

I tell people I don't do relationships because I get bored with girls and while that's partly true, there's another reason why I avoid them like a plague.

I start tearing off the pieces of the label on my beer bottle and I can't stop myself from thinking of Melissa.

We broke up years ago but I still feel the affects of that break up to this day. She was my first and last for so many things.

She was the first girl I ever kissed.

She was my first girlfriend.

She was the first person I was intimate with.

She was the first person I loved in a romantic way.

But she was also the last serious girlfriend I ever had.

She was the last person I said "I love you" to.

And she was the last person I ever let break my heart.

Every time there's a chance of developing feelings for a girl I end things before it gets to that point. I run scared and I've been running for quite some time.

That is until three days ago when Ashley Davies walked into my life.

I find myself willing to give Ashley my heart without hesitation if she wants it and I wish I knew if she did.

I know that there's a chance I'm going to get my heart broken and despite the fear that thought instills deep inside of me, there's no way I'm willing to give up the way Ashley makes me feel.

When she looks at me a certain way, or gives me that nose crinkle or touches me it's such a high that cannot be adequately described.

And I won't give that up for anything.

"Penny for your thoughts."

I glance over at the other side of the table and smile at Ashley. She always seems to pick the best moments to come and talk to me. "You wish Davies, my thoughts are priceless." I honestly feel better just being in her presence.

Ashley laughs and all is right with me again. "That I do not doubt." If it wouldn't creep her out I could honestly stare at Ashley for hours. "That game of Pictionary was pretty intense."

"That was tame believe me." I half joke. "But on the bright side when we don't have to lift a finger at the barbeque on Saturday."

"You sure you want me to come?" Ashley asks.

"Of course I do." I reply immediately.

Hello!

Ashley in a bikini has to happen.

Ashley seems unsure of herself suddenly. "I don't want you feel obligated to entertain me or anything."

Where is all this coming from?

"That's really what I wanted to speak to you about before dinner." She says and now she has my full attention. "I know Aiden made you promise to look out for me when he's gone but I don't want you to feel like you have to."

All that worry for nothing.

"I don't want to put you out or screw up your schedule." She finishes quietly.

"Believe me Ash, you'd be doing me a favor by being here." I assure her. "And as for looking out for you when Aiden's in New York I meant what I said to him, it would be my pleasure." She still doesn't seem convinced. "I get that you hardly know me but I want to help and it's really no bother at all."

Ashley's glances down and then back up again. "Thanks but if you're not…"

"Don't make me come over there and slap you." I playfully warn. "For the next two weeks you're mine."

And hopefully longer.

"Ok Carlin, you made your point." Ashley replies with a big smile on her face.

I lean back in my chair as I take another sip of my drink. "Good, because I'd hate for you to see my nasty side."

"I don't think it's possible that you have one." Ashley remarks. I whip my head in her direction but she's not looking at me anymore.

That girl can make me feel all tingly inside like no one else.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ashley inquires as we make eye contact again.

"Go right ahead, I'm an open book." I say.

"I hope I don't offend you." Somebody should tell Ashley that it's never good to start a conversation like that. I nod my head to let her know she can go ahead. "Well you're family seems to be fairly religious and I guess I was curious as to how they accept you so well." A lot of people ask me that. "It's stupid, never mind."

"It's not stupid." I say as I turn in my chair. "When I came out to my parents I was never really worried about their reaction. I had some doubts about what they would say but they always told me and my brothers that there was nothing we could do that would make them love us any less. I was more scared about how the kids at school would react than my parents."

Ashley plays with her hands as she responds, "You're really lucky to have them."

I think back to finding out about her father and she hasn't even mentioned her mother yet. It upsets me to think that Ashley probably didn't have the same love that I was shown by my family. Nobody should have to go through that, nobody.

"Yeah I am." I agree. "Even if they're spastic and annoying." I garner another smile from Ashley. "I can't believe I almost forgot to thank you for catching on so quickly with my dad earlier."

"Good thing I have ESP." She jokes.

"I would have given the contract to you this afternoon but then Madison showed her ugly face." I explain. "I could try and sneak them to you so my dad doesn't see."

"You could or I could come by your office tomorrow and do it then." Ashley proposes. "Maybe we can have lunch if you're not busy."

"That sounds great." I reply and I try not to jump up and down with joy. "I'm totally free." So not true but whatever, I'm seeing Ashley tomorrow and I can just reschedule my previous lunch date.

"It's getting pretty late." Ashley says as she stands up. "I should be heading home."

I block out that home means home with Aiden because I really don't want to deal with that right now.

"I should be as well." That's true and I also want to avoid my mother and whatever lecture she's going to give me.

Unfortunately for me everyone wants to see our guests off and we all end up at the door at the same time to say our good-byes.

My mom hands Ashley a package. "Here's some leftovers for you to enjoy."

"Thanks so much Mrs. C." Ashley exclaims as she gives my mother another hug.

Aw, I was hoping to take leftovers home.

Oh well, I'm selfless enough to let Ashley have them without a fight.

Aiden and Glen are busy exchanging phone numbers so I don't have to worry about the possibility of giving him a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Ashley whispers in my ear as she pulls away from our embrace.

Ashley in a bikini!

All of us wave good-bye to her and Aiden before my mom shuts the door behind them.

Jessie, Clay and Glen follow my dad into the kitchen and now is the perfect time for my escape.

I'm about reach for my purse when my mom's voice stops me. "Spencer, can I have a word with you?"

So close.

"I would love to mom but I have an early meeting tomorrow so we'll rain check it ok?" I reply as I scoop my purse over my shoulder. "Later, thanks for the meal, love you, bye."

My mom folds her arms as she stands in front of the door. "Spencer."

I sigh in defeat, I might as well get the lecture over with. "Fine, go ahead."

My mom pulls me into the living room I assume to have some privacy. "I think Ashley is a very lovely girl."

I can see where this is going. "But?"

"No buts." My mom assures me. "And Aiden is a nice as well."

She totally disguised her but as an and.

"I told you already mom, we're just friends." I admit I do feel bad lying but I already have my own doubts I don't need my mom's as well to get me down.

My mom cups my chin in the palm of her hand. "I'm not going to tell you what to do or what not to do. I'd like to think your father and I raised you right and you've never given me any reason to doubt that."

"Are we done?" I question.

"I love you Spencer so much and I just want you to be cautious. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt." My mom says very sincerely and it causes a lump to form in my throat.

"You're worrying for nothing, I know what I'm doing." That's another lie, I'm completely clueless but I'm in too deep to get out now and it's not like I want to anyway.

"I see the way you look at her, I haven't seen you that smitten with anyone in a very long time. Just be careful ok?" My mom looks very concerned and I want to assure her that I'll be fine, but I can't because I don't know if that's true.

"I love you too mom, thanks for caring." I engulf her into a big hug and then I leave.

I arrive home and get into bed as I fight to keep my thoughts happy.

I lose that fight and as I drift off to sleep my mind is stuck on what might happen if I'm not able to convince Ashley that we're made for each other.

I can't let that come true.

And I won't.

No matter what.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world

I've decided to dance my way out of the funk I've been in since I left my parents house.

Life is plastic, it's fantastic

I went to sleep in a funk and I woke up in one.

You can brush my hair, undress me anywhere

Ashley can undress me anywhere!

Ashley in a bikini!

Imagination, life is your creation.

I didn't have the greatest sleep last night so I've already downed two cups of coffee and one Red Bull.

It's given me wings!

Wings to dance my ass off.

I was about to get dressed for work when I entered an impromptu dance competition.

With myself.

I seem do be doing a lot of things with just myself lately.

I'm winning by the way.

Come on Barbie, let's go party.

At least I know there's no chance of Ashley catching this show, unless she makes it a habit to break into people's homes.

Woo I'm feeling hyper!

I'm a blonde bimbo girl, in the Barbie world.

You know I've never noticed how offensive the lyrics to this song are.

Oh well, I'm dancing and not thinking about Ashley potentially breaking my heart so I'm going to squash my inner feminist for now and go with the flow.

I'm wearing just a bra and panties as I shake my grove thing.

Spencer in her bra and panties!

I wonder if Ashley's ever had that thought in that stunningly gorgeous head of hers?

God I hope so.

Plus, she has the actual visual to perv on, where as I have to use my imagination to picture her naked or half naked or naked under me screaming my name in the throws of passionate and fantastic sex.

Ashley in a bikini!

I did have the music on louder until one of my neighbors pounded on my door and told me and I'm going to quote here: "To shut my fucking music off or he was going to call the fucking cops."

How rude!

Doesn't he realize how therapeutic dancing is for me?

I stick my ass out and glide across the hardwood floor in my attempt to recreate Cameron Diaz's dancing scene from Charlie's Angels.

That was a good movie. Three chicks kicking ass and taking names later, that's my kind of flick. Actually, in my head the three of them would have ditched their respective male partners and engaged in some kinky action amongst themselves.

Or with maybe me in there as well, I'm not too picky.

I think I'm feeling somewhat better.

I knew my genius plan would work.

I fucking rule!

"Come on Barbie, let's go party."

"What the fuck!" I scream as I whirl around and glare at Jessie. "You scared the bejesus out of me bitch."

What is with people scaring me half to death?

My poor heart can only take so much.

Fuck!

Not to mention she caught me doing something embarrassing.

I guess it could have been worse, she could have caught me doing something else that would have mortified me to no end.

Good thing she didn't sneak up on me a half hour ago.

Ashley in a bikini!

Although she wasn't exactly wearing a bikini when I was, uhm, I don't think I have to spell out what I was doing.

It was fun though even if it didn't clear my funk away.

"I was going to say something before but you seemed to be in a zone." Jessie smirks.

I walk over to my stereo and shut off the music. "What are you doing here? And more importantly why didn't you knock?" I'm seriously considering taking her keys away.

"Don't be mad Spence." Jessie teases. "I thought you looked very sexy."

"Of course I'm sexy." I reply as I put my robe back on. I don't want her getting distracted by my hotness or anything. "But that still doesn't explain why you're here."

"I figured we could ride into work together seeing as we have plans later tonight." She explains.

Oh crap, she wants me to go clubbing with her.

She asked me when I was caught up daydreaming about Ashley yesterday. I really don't want to go because I have zero desire to pick up anybody and I'm just not in the mood.

"Can't we order in and have a movie night instead?" I suggest as I take a seat next to her.

"No, we can't." Jessie replies firmly.

You know what else is firm?

Ashley's ass.

I am all over the place this morning.

"You promised and I really want to have rebound sex." Jessie whines. "Unless you're offering up your services and if you are I'd have to say yes."

"You wish." I say as I pat her on the head. "I'll get you coffee for a week if you reconsider."

"Come on, please." Jessie begs. "You're the best wingman I've got."

She has helped me about a lot and I feel guilty saying no. "Fine, you win, but I'm leaving if I'm having a bad time."

"You won't I swear." Jessie pledges.

I accept her hug and then get up so I can finish getting ready. The last thing I need is to be late and incur the wrath of my dad again. Especially when I don't have Ashley's contract signed yet.

Ashley in a…

"Shit." I exclaim. "We can't carpool because I have lunch plans with Ashley."

I'm definitely laying off the caffeine and sugar because it almost made me forget that in a few hours I'll get to stare into those warm browns eyes of hers.

"No biggie, you can use my car." Jessie replies.

I better not to tell her about my minor fender bender or she might reconsider her offer.

"Works for me." I tell her. I'm about to head for my bedroom when Jessie grabs my wrist. "No matter how much you want me you can't have me."

"I'll find a way to survive somehow." She deadpans. "There is another reason why I came by." Jessie lets go of my arm and pushes me back on the couch. "You left last night in a hurry and you didn't answer your phone when I called. I wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong."

Jessie really is the best.

"I'm fine." Well, that's sort of true but by the look on Jessie's face she doesn't quite believe me.

"You better not be going down that road again." Jessie warns.

"What road?" I ask innocently even though I'm fairly confident I know exactly what she means.

Jessie sighs, "That road where you like someone and then you bail when things get even remotely serious or intense." She knows me better than I give her credit for. "You have to let go…"

She's totally killing my buzz and I feel my funk starting to take over.

"I'm not bailing." I say before she can finish. "That's not even an option."

"Good, because I'd hate to beat your commitment issues out of you." Jessie doesn't seem satisfied with my response.

I almost make a joke but I don't because a part of me needs to voice my fears to Jessie. I know she won't give me an answer to placate me. One thing about Jessie is that she's brutally honest so I don't have to worry that she'll sugar coat anything. "What if Ashley is straight and I have no shot with her?"

"That could happen." Jessie puts her hand over mine. "And I normally would advise against going after someone who's seems to be straight or in a relationship but I really do think there's something between you two."

"Really?" I feel both my spirits and my hope being lifted in one shot.

Jessie nods her head, "I don't know how to explain it but I believe there's more to Ashley and Aiden's relationship then meets the eye." Wait, that sounds bad. "I can't quite put my finger on what it is but they don't really act like couple."

I flash back to all the Aiden and Ashley interaction that I've witnessed. They hardly touch and besides that one kiss there's been no affection or intimacy displayed.

When Ashley is my girlfriend I'm going to be groping her all the time.

Maybe not all the time but pretty darn close.

On the other hand they could just be a couple that doesn't believe in PDAs. Not that I'm complaining mind you, because if I had to see them pawing each other I'd likely hurt Aiden.

I'm so confused and sick of looking for hidden messages, it's extremely tiring.

My hope though is that with Aiden out of the picture I'll be able to get a clearer idea of what Ashley really wants.

Two days.

I repeat that in my head.

Two days and Aiden will be long gone and I'll be spending as much time with Ashley as I can.

You know what else happens in two days?

Ashley in a bikini!

That should be enough to keep me going until then.

"I'm good, don't worry about me." I assure Jessie. "I should get dressed though so we can get going."

"You sure you want to do that? Because you'd turn a lot of heads if you showed up at work in your robe." Jessie jokes.

"I'm not going to argue with that." I smirk and both of us laugh.

I think today is going to be a great day!

I've just had the worst day ever!

One of my clients decided to go on a shopping spree but they 'forgot' to pay for their purchases before they left the store. Needless to say I had spent hours sorting the whole mess out and in turn I had to cancel my lunch date with Ashley.

She said she understood but I still felt bad for bailing at the last minute. Instead of having alone time with her I had the distinct pleasure of spending most of my day at the County Jail and then putting together a last minute press conference to explain how the incident was just a big misunderstanding.

It really wasn't a misunderstanding at all but my job is to make sure that my clients come out of scandals without their name being tarnished. Not an easy task when they act like spoiled, rich, morons.

Lucky for them I'm extremely talented. I told them if they ever pulled a stunt like that again I'd drop them faster than a hot potato. Maybe next time they'll think twice about the emotional damage their actions can cause.

I'm referring of course to the emotional damage I've suffered by not getting to see Ashley at all today. I've seen her every day since we've met, usually multiple times and now I'm suffering major Ashley withdrawal.

Hi, my name is Spencer Carlin and I'm an Ashley-o-holic.

I hope I never get cured.

Then I had to make up some lame excuse to explain why I couldn't submit Ashley's contract to our legal department. Which predictably followed with my dad getting agitated with me, again.

I should have just stayed in bed all day like I wanted to. At least I could have had some fun in there, even if I only had myself as company.

Now I have to put on a fake smile and pretend to enjoy myself with Jessie.

Ugh, life sucks!

I know I'm being a bit whiny but I'm just having a woe is me moment, I'm sure it will pass.

"You look like your dog just died." Jessie observes as she walks into my office at the end of the work day. She comes over to my side of my desk and leans against the edge. "Chin up Spence, it can't be that bad."

I slump in my chair and pout. "Yes it is."

"You're adorable when you sulk." Jessie remarks before she pinches my cheeks.

I push her hand off my face and try to hide the smile that's forming. "Stop it!"

Jessie moves her hands to my side so she can tickle me. "Come one cutie, we've got places to go and people to screw."

"I'm not screwing anyone." I tell her between giggling fits. "But I will do my best to help you get laid." I want to go to a club like I want a hole in my head, but I can't go back on my word so I'll have to suck it up.

"I'll make sure to get you loaded so there's no way you'll have a bad time." Jessie says after she stops attacking my sides. She crosses her legs and takes a seat back on the edge of my desk.

"Did you forget what happened last time I go drunk?" I ask her as I shudder from the memory. "I think it's best that I stay sober tonight."

Jessie shrugs, "Whatever floats your boat, but I was going to foot the bill."

Hmm, maybe I should reconsider then.

A soft knocking on the door stops our conversation as Jessie and I both turn to see who it is. "Hey guys."

Oh my god, it's Ashley!

What is she doing here?

I've missed her so much!

And I've missed her toned stomach even more.

It's back on display and…

Whoa.

Uhm, wow.

That's new.

I gulp as my eyes get stuck admiring the belly button ring Ashley's sporting.

I find belly rings such a turn on. On a normal person I'd be able to function but seeing one on Ashley is beyond drool worthy.

It's very possible that there's steam coming out of my ears.

Jessie pushes herself off my desk and turns around. "Hey Ashley."

I lick my lips and force myself to stop staring. "Hi."

"Did I come at a bad time?" Ashley asks as she remains outside my office.

"Not at all." Jessie assures her because I'm too distracted to speak. "What brings you by?"

Ashley makes her way inside as she looks between Jessie and me. "Aiden picked up Glen for their basketball game so he dropped me off." She runs her hand through her brown tresses and she seems reluctant to finish her thought. "I thought if you weren't busy," Ashley shifts from side to side on her feet and she's only looking at me now. "We could do something tonight."

No way!

How awesome!

I'm so excited…

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

I promised Jessie I'd go with her tonight and it would be terrible of me to ditch her.

Time with Ashley.

Going back on my word.

Time with Ashley.

Going back on my word.

No, no, no, it doesn't matter how much I want this I can't back out at the last minute and I can't break the promise I made. I don't want to be that type of friend even if I'm crying on the inside.

Ashley takes my silence as a sign I'm turning down her invitation because she keeps speaking. "You probably have plans already, which is cool, I just thought I'd check."

See, I told you my day sucks.

I sigh, but I keep my resolve strong. I won't cancel on Jessie even though I really want to. "I'm sorry but Jessie and I have…"

"Plans to go to dinner." Jessie finishes for me.

Huh?

What is she doing?

I nearly ask Jessie if she's lost her mind but then she kicks my ankle and I remember her words from last night.

I shut the fuck up so I can see where this is going.

Jessie smiles, "You should come with."

If there was a best friend of the year award, Jessie would win hands down.

No doubt about it.

She's giving up the possibility of rebound sex for me, I totally owe her.

I finally regain my ability to communicate, "Definitely." Ok, so it was only one word but it's better than nothing.

"I don't want to impose." Ashley replies.

"You won't be." Jessie grabs my arm as she pulls me towards the door. "The more the merrier."

Ashley follows Jessie and me to the elevator. "I need one of you to drive me if that's ok."

"No sweat, Spencer and I came together so you can hitch a ride with us." Jessie tells her as we head for the parking garage.

I'm too busy staring at Ashley's stomach to notice her face drop

"You guys came together?" Ashley inquires.

Jessie once again comes to my aide, "We sometimes carpool to help the environment. Think green!"

I'm still in shock that Ashley showed up at my work and that I'm getting another evening with her.

Bonus Ashley!

Ashley and Jessie make small talk and I join in every once in a while. It's only when Jessie swears that I tune back into the conversation.

"Shit, shit, shit." She exclaims as she looks at her Blackberry. "What bad timing."

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"I'm really sorry to do this guys but I just got an email I have to deal with." That's strange, I didn't hear her message indicator go off. "We're only a few blocks from your place Spence, I'm going to drop you off and then head back to the office."

I glance back at Ashley and she's smiling. "Do you need any help?"

"No I can handle it." Jessie says to me.

Ten minutes later I'm waving good-bye to Jessie and I can feel myself getting very excited.

My day has really turned around.

I went from no time with Ashley to alone time with her.

I should probably buy a lottery ticket so I can ride this lucky streak for as long as possible.

I unlock my door, invite Ashley in and that's when my Blackberry buzzes. I pull it out of my purse and look down as Ashley walks by me.

Have fun tonight.  
Consider this your early birthday present.  
Can't wait to get the details tomorrow.  
Jessie xoxo

"Everything ok?" Ashley asks.

Oh my god!

I had no idea she made that emergency call up.

I don't know how I'm going to pay Jessie back for what she did, but that girl deserves a monument built in her honor

I'll figure out what to do to about Jessie later, right now, I have more important things on my brain.

I turn my Blackberry off and flash Ashley a dazzling smile. "Everything is perfect."

Oh.

Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used:  
> Barbie Girl - Aqua


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I think I might be in some trouble.

I was doing fine after I got that amazing message from Jessie, until it hit me that I'd be alone, with Ashley, in my apartment, with nobody else around, for the night, just her and me, the two of us, and I'm scared out of my mind.

I told Ashley that I was going to change into something more comfortable and that set off a flood of terror within me because I so didn't mean for that to come out like some sort of cheesy line. I fled to my bedroom and I've been freaking out ever since.

I want so badly to just have just fun with Ashley, no not like that, clean, wholesome fun, for now. In order for that to happen I think a patented Spencer pep talk is in order.

First of all, I have to remember to breathe.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Ashley in a bikini!

Shit, I was doing so well.

Let me try that again.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Squeeeeeeeee!

I get Ashley all to myself!

Squeeeeeeeee!

I'm sure that my breathing will take care of itself, I need to move on.

I have a slew of other things on my checklist to get through.

I've come up with some dos and don'ts for tonight that will help me avoid any of the pratfalls that seem to come my way when I'm within 30 miles of Ashley.

Here we go.

Do be my regular charming and witting self.

Don't try too hard and I mean it this time.

Do think before I speak. It's an amazing concept and one I have made it my mission to master.

Don't bring up Aiden, for any reason, whatsoever.

Do keep my eye out for any hazards that could cause me bodily harm.

Hmm, that should probably be rule number one.

And the last and probably most important thing I need to remember…

Drum roll please…

Don't fuck this up!

Ah, I think I'm ready to face Ashley now.

"You doing ok in there?" Ashley shouts from the other room.

Squeeeeeeeee!

Ashley in a bikini!

I slap myself a few times and when I feel sufficiently composed I turn the handle on my bedroom door. "You can do this." I whisper quietly before I take the last step and begin my night with Ashley, alone.

I did change by the way, I'm wearing black yoga pants and a white tank top. I thought about putting on something a bit dressier but then I remembered how this tank top shrunk a bit the last time I washed it. It fits me quite snugly and shows off my tan too.

What?

Look, if I can entice Ashley with some eye candy, that eye candy being me, it can't hurt.

Right?

I take a few steps and then stop. I scan my place for any purses laying on the ground, or nails sticking out of the floor, basically anything that I could trip or hurt myself on. I breathe easier when I see nothing so I continue my journey to the couch.

A few more steps and I repeat the process.

I can't be too careful, not with my track record.

Everything goes fine until I take my rightful spot next to Ashley and I catch sight of her bellybutton ring.

Forget her nose crinkle, that bellybutton ring could easily be the death of me.

On closer inspection I see that the ring has a peace sign on it.

Aww, she's making a political statement.

I love smart girls.

Don't get me wrong, a girl has to be attractive, but if there's nothing going on between her ears things can get boring really fast.

That's right Ashley, make love, not war.

Let me amend that.

Make love to me, not war.

Word!

"I was starting to get worried about you." Ashley says in that sassy way that makes me want to rip her clothes off.

What are my rules for tonight again?

I can't remember!

Fuck!

Ashley in a bikini!

I let out a forced laugh, "Oh well you know."

That was the best I could do?

Ugh.

"Are you in the mood to eat?" I ask out of nowhere. I think that sounds rude. Actually I don't even know what I think anymore to be honest. "I mean food, you know eating food." I'm rambling with no end in sight. The only reason I haven't bailed yet on the night is the mega cute smile I'm getting from a certain brunette. She makes me all squishy inside. "I can cook something for you if you'd like."

There, a complete sentence without sounding like I'm hitting on her or stupid.

Go Spencer go!

Ashley leans back on the couch to stretch, causing her shirt to move higher up her perfect body. If she moves back any further I might be able to catch a glimpse of her bra.

Not helping.

I exhale as I let the one percent of my brain that isn't filled with lustful Ashley thoughts take over.

Ashley raises one of her eyebrows, damn that's sexy.

It's official, there's not one part of my brain left that isn't consumed by her.

"You can cook?" She drawls out huskily.

Her voice sends the blood in my body rushing south, way down south.

"Are you implying something?" I playfully ask as I give her a gentle shove.

Maybe she'll shove me back, which could lead to a tickle fight and then a pillow fight in just our underwear.

Great, I'm starting to think like a teenage boy, just great.

"Not at all." She smirks. "What's on the menu?"

You?

"I'm a very good cook, I'll have you know." I tell her as I get up to see what's in my cupboards.

Whew, I'm starting to cool down now that I'm away from her.

I really should have gone shopping for food instead of clothes the other day, I hardly have anything to offer Ashley.

That's odd, I feel warm all of a sudden.

Why is that?

"I'm sure you are." Ashley says and her breath hits the back of my neck.

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

Ew, balls!

I turn around and Ashley is standing very close to me.

Someone call 911, Ashley's presence has set me ablaze.

"Do you like mac and cheese?" I squeak out.

Ashley pats her stomach, "Sounds great."

I smile and then I start to gather the ingredients I'll need to make the best mac and cheese Ashley's ever tasted. "You can take seat, I've got this covered."

"I want to help." Ashley tells me.

Maybe she thinks I can't handle cooking by myself. "Ash, you're my guest, let me take care of you."

And I don't mean that in a dirty way.

Ashley looks like she wants to argue with me, but instead of doing that, she leaps onto the counter in one move. "I'll keep you company then."

I put the water on to boil and I applaud in my head when I don't drop the pot.

So far so good.

Ashley's feet are dangling off the edge of the counter and it's impossible for me not to notice how warm her eyes are. She seems happy to be in my company and in turn that makes me happy. "So…"

"Buttons." I finish and then I cringe. My dad says that all the time, I never knew I did that as well.

Ashley chuckles, "That's one way to put it." She clearly has something on her mind and I hope she's comfortable enough to share whatever it is with me. "You and Jessie, used to go out?"

Oh.

Time to set the record straight.

And maybe in time I'll make Ashley less straight.

Wait.

What if she's crushing on Jessie and she wants to find out if there really is something going on between us?

Ok, calm down, that's ridiculous.

But they were laughing a lot on the car ride home.

I guess that was because I was hardly saying anything.

That better be the only reason!

"Honestly it was for like a week, it really was no big deal." I explain. I really don't want this to be an issue, because the only feelings I have for Jessie are friendship ones.

But it would only be an issue if…

Stop!

Halt!

Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

I can't keep looking for hidden messages behind what Ashley says or I will drive myself bonkers. All this over thinking is the reason I've been on pins and needles when I'm near her. I can't keep putting myself through this.

Ashley bites on her bottom lip, "You guys just seem really close."

"We are." I reply as I go to check on the water. I turn back to Ashley and my answer doesn't seem to be sitting well with her. "But only as friends, there's just no spark between us, at all."

You on the other hand my dear are a completely different story.

Ashley nods her head as her face lights up again. "I understand, having a spark is so important."

I swear if she says she has that with Aiden I'll vomit.

She doesn't, interesting.

I forget to check on the water again and of course it boils over onto the stove. "Shit." I exclaim as I grab a dishcloth. I move the pot so it's no longer on the burning element but in doing so some of the hot, scolding water hits my hand. "Shit." I exclaim again but it's more out of frustration then actual pain.  
Ashley rushes over to my side, "Did you burn yourself?"

"It's not that sore." I assure her. "I don't think it'll even blister." I hold out the palm of my hand to show her that I'm just fine.

"Let me be the judge of that." Ashley says as she moves her hand under mine. "You can't be too careful." She whispers and she's inspecting my non-wound with great scrutiny.

I suck in my breath as I try not to react to Ashley caressing me. She makes it very hard though, especially when she uses her index finger to trace around the very small red mark that's just formed.

"It doesn't look too bad." Ashley looks up and our eyes zone in one each other. "You should put some ice on it though just to be sure." Her finger hasn't stopped moving and I'm close to passing out.

Not literally, I'm just being dramatic.

"Honestly I feel no pain." Because of Ashley all I feel is warm and fuzzy. I nearly whimper when gives me back my hand.

Ashley has ignited me and I have to get back in control before I do something to embarrass myself.

Water!

That'll do the trick.

I grab a bottle from my fridge but I'm trembling and still reacting to Ashley so when I go to take a sip I miss my mouth and it pours all down my front. My back is to Ashley and I'm glad she missed what I did. Thankfully I didn't get any on my pants because that would have looked just awful.

Besides, it's only water, it'll come out in the wash.

Ha!

I'm funny!

I can't really hide what happened though. I turn towards Ashley to tell her I'm going to put on another shirt. Once I get the whole way around I see Ashley's jaw drop.

Oh no!

I guess even Ashley has her limits and the fact that I can't even take a simple sip of water was the last straw.

It so sucks to be me.

I wrack my brain for a plausible explanation about why I spilled my drink. I can't come up with anything and then Ashley's voice cuts into my brainstorming session.

"Uhm Spence." Ashley keeps staring at my chest and she's making me feel even worse. She points in my direction and she seems to be at a loss for words. "You uhm, you…" Her voice trails off and I can see I've gotten her so flabbergasted she can't find the right way to tell me I'm a loser. "You might want to look down." She says in one breath.

I take her advice and when I realize what's going on my heart stops.

No word of a lie, for a couple of beats it goes completely still.

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Just when I think I've gotten my dignity back, this happens!

Oh, let me explain.

The water that I spilled made my shirt see through, but that's not all, I also soaked the white bra I'm wearing underneath.

Yeah, that's right.

Without meaning to, I've just given Ashley a peak at 'the girls'.

Nipples and all!

Oh my god!

I immediately cover up as my face burns with embarrassment.

This is so not how I pictured Ashley seeing my goodies for the first time.

At least I haven't shown her everything.

Yet.

"Sorry about that." I manage to get out.

Ashley hasn't blinked in over a minute. "That's ok."

"I'm going to grab another shirt." I say before I take off for my room. "When I get back we should just order in." Cooking definitely was not my best idea.

"Sure, uhm, that works for me." Ashley replies just as I shut my door.

I fall onto my bed face first and all I can see is the gob smacked expression on Ashley's face when I flashed her.

I just flashed Ashley!

Maybe this is all just a horrible nightmare.

I pinch my arm and unfortunately for me, I don't wake up.

I know I can't stay in my room forever but I need a few minutes to gather myself together before I go back out there.

Back to Ashley.

Back to the girl I just flashed.

This has to be it, right?

I can't possibly do anything else to top that, right?

I'd like to top Ashley.

Ashley in a bikini!

I think I might be a lost cause, I just hope Ashley doesn't feel that way.

Not that I'd blame her though.

I know I have to face Ashley but I think I'll wait just a bit longer.

Maybe by that time I'll figure out how I'm ever going to be able to look her in the eyes again.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I slowly lift myself off my bed because I can't keep hiding from Ashley. Knowing her she'd come and check that I was ok anyway so I might as well attempt to hold my head up high and act like what I did was no big deal.

I'm so focused on pretending that I'm not humiliated that I nearly walk out of my bedroom with my now transparent shirt still on.

I nearly flashed Ashley a second time!

I don't know what is wrong with me.

Actually, I do.

I am completely enamored with one Ashley Davies and she doesn't have the slightest idea what I'm feeling.

Or does she?

My god if she does I'll die, just die.

What if she thinks I flashed her on purpose in order to entice her into bed?

I start hyperventilating at the prospect that my subtle obsession with Ashley might not be so subtle after all.

I manage to calm myself down when I reason that if Ashley had any inkling of what I really wanted there'd be a cut out of her form in my wall after she bolted from my apartment. There's just no way she'd still want to be my friend if she had any suspicions about why I've been acting so out of control.

I discard the tank top that caused the mess I'm in on the ground, and grab a sweatshirt to put on instead.

I'm not cold or anything but the water that I spilled on myself was; quite cold in fact, and that affects of having it poured down my body aren't hard to miss.

There is no chance I'm putting on another tank top when I'm still at full attention if you catch my drift.

Once I emerge from my self imposed and temporary exile I very carefully walk towards the living room. I'm not so mortified that I've forgotten how accident prone I am, so I need to ensure that nothing else goes wrong.

I frown the closer I get to the last place I saw Ashley because she's not there. I scan my apartment as my breathing becomes shallow once more.

She's gone.

No sign of her.

I knew it!

I knew she'd take off.

I'm such a…

I hear the toilet flush right in the middle of my umpteenth Ashley induced panic attack. I really, really, really, need to stop doing this to myself.

Before Ashley comes back out I rush over to the kitchen, grab a bunch of take out menus and fly onto the couch. I figure if I pretend that nothing happened so will she.

The bathroom door opens and I prepare to give the performance of my life. "I got some menus out while you were gone." So far so good, Ashley isn't acting weird. "Any preferences on what you want to eat?" I do notice that she has more color on her face then I remember.

Ashley smiles and rejoins me on the couch. "Nah, I'm easy."

There are times where humor is appropriate to diffuse a potentially awkward situation, I really feel now is one of those times. "That's what I've heard." I can be sassy too, let's hope I didn't make big mistake.

Ashley gasps so dramatically that I'm confident the night can be salvaged. She holds her hands over her heart as if I've fatally wounded her with my words. "I'm not the one who put on a free show."

Nice!

She can give as good as she gets.

I'm going to cross my fingers that applies to something else as well.

"Whatever." I smirk as I toss a few menus in her lap. "You don't even know how lucky you are to get the show you did."

"You're right." Her voice is quite deep, "Should I leave a few dollars by the door as a way to say thanks."

"More like a few thousand dollars." I banter back. I love this, really, we're just able to fall in this routine that lets me forget what I did and lets this feisty side of Ashley come out that is positively drool worthy. "And seeing as you couldn't keep your eyes of me, I'd say you were more than satisfied."

Ashley rolls her eyes as her face gets even more flushed. "Wishful thinking Carlin."

"Eyes up here Davies." I reply when Ashley looks down for a second.

My remark is met by silence and there's a new kind of tension in the air. I can't quite put my finger on what it is but Ashley speaks before I can decipher exactly the cause.

"Are you going to be complimenting yourself all night or do you plan on feeding me?" Ashley jokes.

"So demanding." I joke back.

Demanding Ashley is so sexy!

She could order me around all day and all night.

I wouldn't mind being Ashley's bitch.

Wouldn't mind one damn bit.

I regret putting on a sweatshirt now because my body is heating up at an extraordinary speed.

I decide to look through the takeout menus so I can cool off.

Chinese is out, I'd probably get a chopstick stuck up my nose and have to be rushed to the hospital.

No to Greek as well, too much garlic and just in case my dreams come true I don't want my breath to be nasty.

I turn to Ashley just as she turns to me. "Pizza." We say at the same time.

Great minds think alike!

We share a chuckle and once we've determined what we want on our pizza I place our order. There was a mini argument over who would pay but I won because I gave the guy on the phone my credit card number and Ashley couldn't do a thing about it.

Watching her pretend to pout over losing just made my night.

She is so cute!

I want to pinch her cheeks!

Both sets!

As we make small talk while we wait for our food to arrive I get this feeling that there's something I'm forgetting. It's nagging at me and I start spacing out as I try to remember what it is.

Ashley's right in the middle of telling me about her day when the light bulb goes off.

The contract!

Thankfully I'm prepared and brought it home with me.

My ass would have been grass!

Ok, ok, I never took it out of my purse from the other night.

Same difference.

"Are you ok?" Ashley asks after I've jumped off the couch.

Instead of answering I get the contract out of my purse and show it to her. "I should have given this to you a long time ago."

Ashley reads a few lines and then she smiles. "Do you think you can give me a pen too so I can actually sign it?"

As much as I need to save my own behind, I can't let Ashley just sign it blindly. "Read it over first."

"I don't need to read it, I trust you." Ashley says as she holds her hand out.

Aw, how sweet of her to say!

"I'm not letting you sign something you've never read." I counter. "That's bad business."

Ashley doesn't seem so happy with my thoughtfulness. "Just give me a pen Spence, it's fine."

"No it's not." I tell her as I cross my arms.

Ashley stands up as well. "Yes it is."

"No it's not." I repeat.

Ashley grits her teeth, "Would you just give me a damn pen already."

"For all you've know I've snuck some kind of clause in there that you should know about." I haven't I'm just trying to make a point.

"Like what exactly?" She challenges.

"Oh I don't know." I put my hands on my hip to show her I'm not giving up. "Like, for example, you have to be my sex slave."

What?

It just popped into my head.

But man, what a fantastic idea that is.

Ashley bursts out laughing, "In your dreams, Carlin."

Actually, when I'm awake too.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." She looks behind me and stops when she spots something. "You don't want to give me a pen, fine, I'll just get one myself." She marches into the kitchen and I'm in hot pursuit.

I'm just looking out for her best interests.

"Give me that pen." I demand when Ashley takes mine off the counter. "Right now!"

"Or what?" Ashley asks and hot damn is she turning me on.

"Or I'll take it from you." I pledge as I take a step in her direction.

Ashley lets out a haughty laugh, "I'd like to see you try."

I lunge at Ashley and she's so surprised I get the pen out of her hand with no resistance from her. "Like candy from a baby." I smirk. My smirk is quickly replaced by fear when I realize that Ashley's about to prove she's as stubborn as I am. "Oh my god." I squeal as I take off.

Ashley chases me around the kitchen but I'm too fast for her.

Ha!

Wait.

Ashley's chasing me?

I change my mind, I want to get caught!

Actually I don't and we end up at a stand still at my kitchen table. Ashley isn't even saying anything, she's just giving me this look that screams "don't mess with me."

But the thing is, I wouldn't mind messing with her.

Ba dam bam chhh!

So not the time.

Ashley moves one way, I move the other. She changes direction, so do I.

I'm not one for patience though, I make a mad dash for the living room so I can jump on the couch.

Not the best strategic move on my part.

Ashley makes her way over to me like a lion stalking her prey.

How wrong is it that I'm a little bit scared and a lot hot as I watch her move.

"Can't catch me, can't catch me." I taunt as I bounce up and down like a child.

In two seconds I'm on my back and Ashley is on top of me.

Uhm, yay.

No, that's not the right reaction.

Hell yeah!

A bit better, but there's still something lacking.

Hell fucking yeah!

Bingo!

Her eyes are dark, she's out of breath and she's pressing down on me so deliciously I have to suppress a moan.

I was right, being dominated by Ashley feels so fucking good.

"I believe you have something of mine." Ashley husks out and I nearly have an orgasm.

You mean me?

I'm yours.

Take me, take me now.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Oh god, I need to get her off.

Off me!

That's what I meant, I need to get her off me or I'm going to tear into her like some kind of lunatic.

I don't do that though, I do something else instead.

Of course.

I shove the pen down my shirt and into my bra.

I'm having a moment here, I can't help myself.

"You want it that bad." I breathe out as our eyes lock. "Go and get it."

Oh my…

What am I thinking?

I know exactly what I'm thinking,

I'm thinking she'll stick her hand down and rub me all over.

Rub me so good.

Maybe she'll even use her tongue to get the pen back.

And maybe she'll have to strip me down and kiss and fondle me to teach me a lesson.

Or she could spank me.

Yes, spank me Ashley, spank me!

Oh me so horny!

Well, you would be too in my situation.

She's not saying anything back to me though, she's just staring at me and giving me the mother of all smoldering looks.

I thought I'd seen a smoldering look from Ashley before, but I was wrong.

This one takes the cake!

"I'm going to ask you one more time." Ashley finally speaks, and let me tell you her voice is so husky I almost can't stand it. "Give me that pen."

Not when I get this kind of reaction.

I shake my head, "Not going to happen."

Ashley leans down and for a split second I think she's going to kiss me, but she's only getting closer to intimidate me.

Tease!

"Give it to me." She paused between each word to ensure I know she's serious.

All I want to do is grab her shirt and kiss the hell out of her.

I can feel her breath on my face and I'm about to say no again when my phones rings.

Fucking hell!

We were just making progress.

On the bright side I got to feel Ashley's body pressed against mine.

And let me tell you that is something I wouldn't mind experiencing a second time.

Or a third time.

When we're both naked.

Help!

I'm over stimulated and I can't get off!

"Pizza's here." I squeak out as my hormones go berserk.

Ashley jumps up and away from me incredibly fast.

I avoid looking at her as I rush to let the pizza guy in.

Wowee wow!

That was a fun way to work up an appetite.

I'm ready for round two!

Shit, I have to get a hold of myself.

If I don't there's a chance Ashley could get uncomfortable and leave.

I wonder how she's coping with what took place.

I'm too scared to find out right now so I'm going to stare at my door until the pizza gets here. Once the pizza is paid for I turn around and prepare for the worst.

My jaw drops when I see Ashley holding the contract and another pen in her hand.

Where'd she get that?

The one we were wrestling over is still on my bra.

She makes a big production of signing the contract and then she walks over and sticks it in my purse. "Told you I'd win." She smirks.

Oh how very wrong you are Ashley.

And I'm not talking about getting the contract issue out of the way.

I won!

Boy, did I ever!


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Eating pizza and holding a conversation while having sexual thoughts about the person sitting very close to you is not an easy task.

I should know, that's what I'm doing right now.

All I can think about is Ashley on top of me and wishing that stupid, idiotic, pimply faced loser pizza guy hadn't shown up. Yeah, yeah, he's just doing his job I know but still, couldn't he have arrived like five minutes later.

Who knows what could have happened in those five minutes.

I have played out what I would have liked to have happened non stop ever since Ashley had me pinned on the couch with that smoking body of hers.

I'd also like to point out how much I regret spilling water all over myself even more than I did an hour ago. Not because of the flashing, which yes was very bad, but more so because if I had been wearing my tank top during the whole pinning me down episode I could have felt more of Ashley's bare skin on mine.

Beggars can't be choosers I suppose, I'll just be thankful I was able to experience what I did and move on.

Ashley and I are on our third slice of pizza and the conversation hasn't stopped or been awkward once. She's so easy to talk to even when I'm having dirty thoughts about her.

Dirty, delicious thoughts.

Dirty, delicious, x-rated thoughts.

Dirty, delicious, x-rated, hot sex thoughts.

Gah!

I really have to stop doing this to myself.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I force myself to think of the naked wrestling scene in Borat to stop my pornographic mind.

Gross but successful.

Even though I feel slightly nauseous now, it's a price I'm willing to pay so I won't pounce on Ashley while she's trying to have her dinner.

After dinner however, I make no promises.

"Any big plans for tomorrow?" I ask nonchalantly as I scarf down my food. I have no clue when Aiden is leaving but if he has an early flight that and she doesn't have prior arrangements, she could spend the night with me.

I can't even remember what I did with all my free time before I met Ashley. She's consumed me these last number of days and it amazes me that the level of obsession I have for her isn't diminishing, it's only growing stronger.

But if I'm going to obsess about someone, it might as well be about someone as hot and wonderful as Ashley.

"I have to help Aiden pack." Ashley replies as she rolls her eyes. "You know boys, they always leave things until the last minute."

Bummer!

Oh well, c'est la vie!

Hey, when did I learn how to speak French?

I will say I have mastered the art of their kissing.

Too bad Ashley doesn't know that.

Yet.

I nod in agreement, "Don't have to tell me, I grew up with two older brothers." I take another bite of pizza and I receive a look of sympathy from Ashley. "Well, one brother and a Glen."

"What do you mean?" Ashley asks.

I grab my water and successfully take a sip without making a mess. "He always acted like a typical guy until he came out. Then he was a bit more tolerable, but very high maintenance."

Ashley drops her pizza on her plate almost in shock. "Glen's gay?"

Seriously?

She cannot be serious.

They can tell Glen's gay from space.

He's gayer than gay.

If he were a superhero he'd wear a costume with a big 'G' in the middle of his chest.

They'd call him super gay.

Or super freak.

Either one would work for him.

Wait, wait, wait.

There's no chance Ashley can be gay if she can't tell Glen is.

"Tell me you're joking." I plead like I'm not being serious, but I am.

"I'm joking." Ashley deadpans and I'm not sure if she means it.

All my hopes and dreams are fading right before my eyes.

Glen's sexual preference registers with people who have no gaydar.

I'm sad!

My inner turmoil is cut short because somebody, and I'm not naming names here, Ashley, tossed a pillow at my head.

Yes!

Pillow fight!

"You're too easy Spence, of course I knew Glen was gay." Ashley says after assaulting me.

I may be forced to press charges if she's not careful.

And I'd be the arresting officer, which means of course that a strip search would be very necessary.

"Actually you're the easy one, remember?" I playfully shoot back.

Besides the fact that I got to experience a few seconds of nirvana under Ashley, I'm honestly having so much fun. Ashley is a hoot and not to be boastful or anything, but I'm not too shabby either.

"Ha, ha very funny." Ashley sarcastically replies.

I laugh, "What a lame comeback, you've disappointed me Ashley."

"You better watch yourself on Saturday Spencer, or you might end up in the pool when you least expect it." Ashley warns.

Saturday?

Holy forgetfulness Batman!

I can't believe I let what's happening on Saturday slip my mind.

In my defense, it's been pretty full with so much Ashley goodness it was bound to happen.

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

I have to make up for lost time.

"Like I'm scared of you." I scoff dramatically.

"And who exactly was screaming their head off when I was chasing them earlier?" Ashley taps one finger on her chin, "Oh that's right, it was you!"

"I was not." I protest.

I so was.

"Oh, ok, you keep tell yourself that and maybe one day it will be true." Ashley replies with a big nose crinkly smile.

Ashley in a bikini!

I grab Ashley's plate and make a big production of clearing away the food like I'm mad, but we both know I'm not.

I return to the couch and the love of my life as I check the time. It's only seven thirty, which is way too early to be calling it a night.

What should we do next?

Kiss?

Make-out?

Have sex?

I'm going to answer all of the above.

Ashley in a bikini!

"Want to watch a movie?" Is what I actually suggest. I have a rather large DVD collection and perhaps we might end up falling asleep on the couch wrapped up in each other and then when we wake up we could get naked.

Ashley in a bikini!

"Sure sounds good." Ashley agrees.

"What are you in the mood for?" I ask as I get up and walk over to where I store my movies. "Let me guess," I start before she can say a word. "You're easy."

Ashley chuckles, "You know it."

Do I?

Do I really?

Ashley in a bikini!

What to pick, what to pick?

I scan the movie titles for one that I think Ashley would like.

Imagine Me and You…too obvious.

Kissing Jessica Stein…no way, she went back to the guy, can't have Ashley thinking that's ok.

Bound…as much as I would love to say yes, I keep looking.

Finding Nemo…loved that movie! But Ashley might think I'm weird for owning a copy.

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Ashley impatiently asks.

"I'm looking, keep your pants on." I retort.

On second thought, take them off and keep them off!

Ashley in a bikini!

D.E.B.S.…oh that's a possibility, not too heavy handed, hot chicks kissing, definitely a possibility.

The Wedding Singer…I don't know, Ashley doesn't strike me as a chick flick kind of girl.

I'm so busy shooting down all my ideas that I don't notice Ashley is right beside me.

That's a first!

"Oh my god, no way." Ashley squeals and what a great sound that is. "I can't believe you own this."

I have a mini heart attack at what movie she possibly found until I see the one that got her so excited. "It's one of my favorites." I admit sheepishly.

"Me too!" Ashley gushes. "I must have watched this over a hundred times as a kid."

"So did I." I tell her and we're both smiling at our memories. "I remember wishing I was an orphan after watching it for the first time."

For a split second I worry that my remark was insensitive but Ashley doesn't seemed fazed by it in the slightest, just the opposite actually.

"I know this is going to sound redundant, but me too!" Ashley laughs.

And then the most amazing things happens.

Out of nowhere, Ashley jumps to her feet and sings "Tomorrow" at the top of her lungs. Her arms are outstretched and her voice is flawless. I'm absolutely mesmerized by her, not only at how amazing she sounds but also the way her face lights up as she gets into her performance.

It's easy to see that singing is exactly what Ashley is meant to do with her life.

I also love that I got to hear her sing for the first time spontaneously. No warning, no preparation, no psyching myself out, I just get to enjoy the moment for what it is.

Ashley finishes and I'm still staring at her. "What?" She asks and I can tell she's a bit self conscious.

"You have a beautiful voice." I tell her sincerely and not for any other reason then it's absolutely true.

Ashley grins and she also blushes. "I'm ok."

"I'm serious Ash, you really are very talented." I want to make sure she knows I'm not kidding around.

Ashley bites her bottom lip so adorably. "Thanks, I'm glad you liked it."

"You do know you ruined your reputation though." I tease. I just bought humor back.

But Ashley brought sexy back.

Big time!

Ashley in a bikini.

Ashley rolls her eyes, "What are you rambling about?"

"You're supposed to be this bad ass rocker chick and you know all the words to Annie." I explain. "Imagine the scandal this is going to cause when you make it big."

"Shut up." Ashley says as she tries to kick me but I move out of the way before she can.

"I can see the headlines now." I start as I stand up. "Ashley Davies caught in hotel room with multiple copies of Annie, full story at eleven."

"Just put on the damn movie." Ashley says as she hands me the DVD case.

I put it in but I'm not done making fun of her yet. I cough the words "Annie lover" under my breath and get another pillow thrown at my head for my efforts.

It was totally worth it though.

I sit down next to Ashley and when I press play it's hard to tell who's more excited for the movie to start.

Maybe there's a dorky side to Ashley after all.

And that only makes her more appealing in my books.

Ashley in a bikini!

We both break out into song throughout the film and I don't feel self conscious one bit because we're both acting like we're eight years old again. We laugh, we boo Miss Hannigan, we cheer when she turns good and I have a complete blast.

There's no worry about freaking Ashley out or anything, we're just being us, together and it's the most fun I've had in ages.

I told Ashley how my best friend growing up and I choreographed our own routines for the dance scenes and now that the finale is about to begin, I get one of my trademark genius ideas.

I pull Ashley off the couch and link arms with her. "Time for that duet of ours."

"You're crazy." Ashley teases but she doesn't say no.

Yay!

I pretend to hand Ashley a flower in time with the movie. "Together at last, together forever." We belt out as one.

I hope so!

We dance around my apartment as well as sing. "We're tying a knot, they never can sever."

Amen!

Ashley looks over at me, it's time for her solo. "I don't need sunshine now, to turn my skies at blue."

We grab each other's hands and it's hard to get the words out because we're laughing, but we manage somehow. "I don't need anyone but you."

I really don't need anyone but her.

"You've wrapped me around, your cute little finger." Truer words have never been spoken. I wink at Ashley as I continue my part. "You've made life a song, you've made me a singer."

By the time the movie is done both of us collapse on the couch in hysterics. We're clutching our stomachs and I see tears rolling down Ashley's face.

"I think that was my best viewing of Annie ever." Ashley exclaims as she wipes her tears away.

"Mine too." I reply and it really was.

I was just myself for a couple of hours and it's nice to know I can be around Ashley that way without acting spastic.

I can't wait for more nights like this in the future.

I offer to drive Ashley home but she says that Aiden can pick her up. I try to protest because I don't want to think of the two of them together but Ashley said I'm not her chauffeur. It doesn't bother me as much tonight that she's going home with him, because I know she had just as much fun with me as I did with her.

"Thanks for another great night." Ashley says as we say our good-byes. "Just remember, you've been bestowed with a great secret tonight." I'm leaning on the edge of my door and I'm grinning like a love sick fool. "And with great power, comes great responsibility."

"Yes oh lover of Annie." And hopefully future lover of Spencer. "I shall guard your secret with my life."

Ashley laughs, "I'll call you tomorrow and we can finalize plans for Saturday."

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

It's almost time!

"Have a good night." I say before I give her a hug.

Ashley hugs are the best hugs in the universe.

"You too." Ashley pulls back and then she leaves.

Like the last time she left my place I watch her go and she turns around at the elevator to look back at me. "Sweet dreams."

Ashley in a bikini!

I don't think that will be a problem whatsoever.

Except my dreams might not be that sweet.

Ashley in a bikini!

Not that sweet at all!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I pull up to Ashley's house on Saturday morning in such a wonderful mood.

And why would that be?

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Oh yeah!

Today feels like my birthday only better. If I play my cards right perhaps I'll even get the chance to unwrap Ashley!

I bounce around in my seat like I'm hopped up on all sorts of sugar, but my high comes from only one thing…

Ashley in a bikini!

I find it a bit odd that Ashley's not waiting outside because she told me she would be but I'm not too concerned. Instead of honking, which I think is rather rude, I get out of my car and practically skip to her front door.

I ring the bell as I try to remain somewhat calm.

Ashley in a bikini!

The wait for her to answer takes an eternity and when I hear her unlock the door from the inside my breathing hitches.

I must, under all circumstances, remain composed.

This is imperative or my cover as an Ashley obsessed fan girl will be completely blown.

My inner squeal is cut short when I see Ashley.

What the hell?

She's dressed in a big white snowsuit and for the life of me I can't figure out why.

"Good morning Spencer." Ashley sings out as she flashes me a big grin.

I was all excited for a nearly naked Ashley and instead I get the fucking Michelin man!

I'm so pissed off right now.

"Are you on fucking crack?" I ask rudely and I don't even care how bad I sound.

Ashley in a bikini!

Where are you?

Ashley twirls around like she's in a fashion show. "Don't you like my bikini?"

Huh?

Oh god, she's a loony tune.

"I demand you go change." I shout as I point upstairs. "Whatever kind of joke you're trying to pull isn't funny."

Ashley walks over to me and slaps my shoulder. "Come on we're going to be late."

I'm so angry, I growl rather loudly. "I'm not leaving this house with you looking like a fucking marshmallow." I clench my fists together and I'm very close to slapping Ashley for being playing such a cruel trick on me. "I'm serious Ash, you better go change."

"Is this what you had in mind?" Ashley's voice comes not from the person standing in front of me but from somewhere else.

What's going on?

I'm so confused.

Another Ashley walks into the room dressed like a clown.

And now I'm scared as fuck.

Clowns freak me out like you wouldn't believe.

Ashley bounds over to me and her oversized clown shoes squeak loudly as she moves. "Don't pout Spence, I bet I can cheer you up." She pulls out a horn and honks it a few times, which only scares me more.

I back up until I hit the wall behind me. "Get away from me." I try to sound intimidating but my shaky voice betrays my actual feelings.

A third Ashley pops up beside me, "Don't pout Spence." I'm about to ask her if she's the real Ashley when a fourth Ashley appears on my other side.

I close my eyes hoping when I open them all the Ashley's will be gone.

When I feel brave enough, I risk a peak and I scream my head off because there are now hundreds of clown Ashley's descending on me.

I wake up from my nightmare in a cold sweat and screaming.

That was the creepiest thing ever!

I thought Ashley could make anything sexy but Ashley as a clown is the farthest thing from sexy possible.

My heart is going a mile a minute and I'm out of breath.

Thank god that wasn't real.

"Did you have a bad dream Spence?"

My eyes bulge out of my head at the male voice that asked that question.

I slowly turn my head to see the owner of said voice and when I see who it is, I'm nearly sick on the spot.

Aiden!

No way!

Come back clown Ashley, naked Aiden is a billion times scarier than you.

I'm frozen and in shock so I don't even move as he gets closer to me.

Help, I need somebody.

Help, not just anybody.

Help!

He wraps his gross muscular arms around me as he snuggles up to my side.

Ew!

Ew!

Ew!

I can't think of one logical explanation for Aiden being in my bed, without any clothes on.

Ew!

"Come on lover, let me make you feel better." He whispers in my ear.

I let out the loudest, blood-curling scream known to man hoping Aiden will just disappear…

I sit straight up in my bed and I'm clutching my chest in absolute fear and panic. My fear and panic subside a little bit once I realize that Aiden isn't beside me and there are no clown Ashley's around to creep me out.

Gah!

Talk about horrible dreams.

Talk about disturbing images.

I hope I'm not scarred for life.

I look over at the clock beside my bed and groan when I see the green numbers that read 3:57.

I've been having both those recurring dreams almost non-stop since Ashley left my place the other night.

Time has been moving so incredibly slow but the finish line is almost in sight.

Ashley in a bikini!

It's only hours away now.

Woo fucking hoo.

I want to close my eyes and avoid dreaming about anything that will give me shivers or make me want to barf.

I fall back against my mattress and curl my weary body under the soft covers. When my head hits the pillow I can feel myself slip into unconsciousness almost immediately despite the fact that my heart is still racing.

All I have to do is sleep the next number of hours away and then I can enjoy what I know will be the most heavenly of sights.

Ashley in a bikini!

Almost.

But not yet.

The next time my eyes open the clock is flashing 12:00 and that nearly causes me to go into cardiac arrest.

I managed to not dream about anything gross after I fell asleep but now it seems the power went out and I have a bad feeling that I've overslept and missed the chance at seeing Ashley in almost all her glory.

No, no, no!

This sucks so bad!

I throw back the covers, leap to my feet and run around like a mad woman looking for something that will give me the proper time. After a few frantic minutes I find my watch.

I take a deep breath as I prepare to find out what the damage is.

Dang man.

I didn't oversleep at all.

It's quarter to eight in the morning.

It's quarter to eight in the morning on a Saturday.

It's quarter to eight in the morning on a Saturday and I'm not picking Ashley up for another five hours.

That's right, five whole hours.

I'm too wired and anxious to go back to sleep and I desperately need something to pass the time.

Yes, I could do that, but not for five hours.

I'd get carpal tunnel syndrome or wear out my batteries for sure.

I manage to kill an hour by watching infomercials.

I'm totally ordering that Magic Bullet blender thingy as we speak.

It looks awesome!

I do think the name sounds a bit dirty but that's probably just me.

Ok, now I only have four more hours to go, this shouldn't be too hard.

Ten minutes later I'm bored out of my skull so I decide to call upon the help of wise woman to see me through this trying time.

"You better be dead or dying because otherwise I'm going to wring that neck of yours when I see you." Jessie mumbles when she picks up the phone.

She's so not a morning person either.

"I know, I know, I'm terrible and you can kill me later I swear but I really need your help." I reply as I snuggle under the blanket on my couch.

"Just a second." Jessie says. I hear her moving around and some bits and pieces of a conversation.

Go Jessie!

She must have scored after all.

Seeing as Ashley was busy and because she's the bestest friend anyone can I have, I went clubbing with her last night. She sent me home early though because I kept remarking how each girl she wanted to hook up with wasn't as hot as Ashley.

I felt kind of bad, but I was only speaking the truth.

Ashley in a bikini!

"Ok, I'm back, what's the big emergency?" She asks.

"I can't sleep and I'm so excited about today I don't know what to do with myself." I explain.

I hear a very audible sigh on the other end of the phone. "You know Carlin, you are so lucky I love you like I do because if you were anyone else, I'd fucking kill you."

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "You can hang up if you want to."

"I wish I could get mad at you." Jessie says. "But I can't, especially when I know what today is."

Ashley in a bikini!

"You're making me feel even worse now for waking you up." I groan.

Jessie laughs, "Yeah I know, that's the point."

I guess I deserved that.

"Why don't you watch a movie or read a book?" She suggests.

Because none of them have Ashley in it.

"I could do that." I reply unconvincingly.

Jessie lets out another sigh, "What is this really about?"

"I'm really nervous." I answer truthfully.

"She's only a girl Spence, you have to stop that mind of yours from psyching yourself out." Jessie says softly.

Ashley in a bikini!

Not possible.

But that's not the reason I'm panicking.

Ok, ok, that's part of the reason but that's not really what I'm most concerned about.

"I get that, it's just," my voice falters momentarily as I try to think of the best way to explain what I'm feeling. "The other night when Ashley was over we had such a good time." Minus the flashing of my breasts incident of course. "What if I do something to screw up again today because I'm drooling all over her."

"You're worrying over nothing." Jessie assures me.

"How can you say that?" I protest. "That's my thing, it's what I do."

"You told me yourself that the reason you had such a good time with Ashley was because you were able to just be in the moment." I did say that. "So, take your own advice, shut that frantic mind of yours off and see what happens."

"Easier said then done." I mutter.

Ashley in a bikini!

It's practically impossible.

"Is there something else, something you're not telling me?" Jessie gently inquires.

Yes.

But I can't get into that right now or I'll completely lose it.

"No, just nerves." I lie.

I'm not a fan of lying, never have been, however, this just isn't the right time to open up an old wound of mine.

"You have to stop thinking you'll mess up because if you don't you will." Jessie says matter-of-factly. "You're a great girl and if Ashley can't see that, it's her loss. Trust me Spence, she's lucky you're crazy about her."

"Thanks Jessie, that's sweet of you to say." She has made me feel better and that's why I called her.

"Can I go back to sleep bed now?" Jessie asks.

"I bet that's not what you really want to do." I joke.

"Busted." She laughs. "Remember what I said and you'll be fine."

I really, really, really hope she's right.

We hang up and thanks to Jessie I only have three and a half hours left to kill.

I grab a bowl of cereal and flip on some Saturday morning cartoons.

This way, I won't have to worry about anything sexy infiltrating my thoughts.

I somehow get through the next two hours.

I'm showered, dressed and ready to hit the road.

Only problem, there's still an hour and half to go before I'm supposed to leave.

I'm about to start doing jumping jacks to burn off my excess energy when my phone rings.

I have to make sure Ashley never sees my phone because I'll have a hard time explaining why I've programmed her number to come up as Ashley in a bikini!

"Good morning." I greet her in a cheerier than normal voice.

Ashley in a bikini!

"I guess I didn't wake you." Ashley replies in her usual raspy and sultry tone.

What that does to me, I can't even begin to explain.

"Not at all." I assure her.

Oh no!

She's canceling on me!

I just know it!

"I'm so glad the weather reports were wrong. I'm happy to report it's bright and sunny outside." Ashley says.

Oh my god!

I never even thought to check the weather. Thankfully I didn't because I would have cried if I knew it was supposed to rain.

"You still there Spence?" Ashley asks.

"I'm here, I'm here." I reply as I vow to take Jessie's advice to heart. I am going to enjoy myself today and not let my own hang ups take over.

Ashley in a bikini!

Well, almost, there's not a chance that will leave my mind until I see it for myself.

"I know this is going to sound like really lame." Ashley starts and she sounds hesitant to continue. "I feel almost like a kid who's waiting to go to Disney World." She chuckles and I have no clue what she's trying to get at. "I've kind of been ready to go for the last hour or so."

What?

Did I hear her right?

"Which I know makes me so uncool but I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you today." She finishes so quickly I almost couldn't understand her.

Ashley Davies really knows how to make me swoon.

I tilt my head not because I'm trying to impress her, obviously she can't see me, but more so because she makes me feel like a love struck teenager again.

Honestly, I'm under her spell so much and I don't ever want that spell to be broken.

"Me too." I admit.

"Really?"

"Yeah, when you called I was trying to figure out a way to make time move faster." I joke and she lets out a throaty laugh that sends me on yet another Ashley high.

Ashley in a bikini!

"Do you think your parents would mind if we went over early?"

Who cares!

Ashley in a bikini!

"Not at all." I reply as I grab my stuff and head out the door. "I'll be at your place in like twenty minutes."

"See you then." Ashley says and we have lift off.

Yay!

It's the final countdown!

Ashley in a bikini!

Unlike my dream, Ashley is waiting for me when I get to her house. She's wearing a black tank top and jeans but I'm sad to report that her stomach is fully covered.

Oh well, it won't be for long.

Ashley in a bikini!

She throws her stuff into my backseat and as soon as she gets into the car we start laughing and joking around like the last time we were together.

We arrive at my parent's house and it feels like we just left her place. That's how easy the conversation was between us and I'm proud of myself for not letting my hormones take over.

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

I do have a bit of a panicky moment when I realize I never called my mom to let her know I was on my way over.

The last time that happened I got the shock of my life.

I vowed never to speak of that horrific moment again for fear of the permanent damage it could cause me.

Let's just say, my parents learned to lock the front door after that day.

Ew!

Ashley in a bikini!

Whew, that is exactly what I need right now.

"Hello." I shout after I unlocked the door and let Ashley in.

Yay!

No one's home!

Ashley in a bikini!

"Let's head out back." I say in what I hope sounds like a calm manner.

Ashley nods her head and I'm so giddy it's not even funny.

"Morning girls." My mom says as she walks down the stairs.

No!

She's going to talk to us and I'm almost at the finish line.

I force myself to smile. "Morning mom."

Ashley's smile seems more sincere. "Morning Mrs. C."

"You're here early." My mom remarks.

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

"I just have to get a few things for tonight, but you guys have fun, and I'll be back soon." My mom says.

Yes!

"That's cool." I reply casually. "Drive safe."

Ashley in a bikini!

My mom assures me she will and I'm about to start doing cartwheels.

"Do you have to change?" I ask Ashley once we're alone.

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley shakes her head, "Nope, I came prepared, I wore my bikini underneath my clothes."

Thud!

That's me keeling over in my mind.

My throat dries up worse than the Sahara Desert.

"So did I," I manage to eke out in my highly stimulated state.

Ashley in a bikini!

"I have to go to the washroom but I'll meet you outside." Ashley says as I try not to explode with anticipation.

On my way out to the backyard, I grab two bottles of water so we don't get dehydrated while we're in the sun.

Safety first!

I throw off my clothes, put my sunglasses back on and by the time Ashley comes out I'm already lying on a lawn chair in my pink striped bikini.

Ashley's still dressed though.

But that won't be the case soon.

Ashley in a bikini

She smiles at me and I wish I knew if she was checking me out but I can't tell because she's wearing sunglasses too.

Damn she's sneaky.

Yeah, I know I am as well but we're not talking about me now.

I adjust my body to the side so it looks like I'm getting comfortable but I'm just making sure I have the best view possible.

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley turns around and latches onto the bottom of her tank top.

Ashley in a bikini!

In three…

Two...

One…

(A/N as I was writing this scene, I had this song in my head that I can't properly explain. I don't normally like interjecting my thoughts into the story but I really suggest listening to the song "Oh Yeah" by Yello – it can be found on youtube – when reading the last part of the chapter. )

She slowly works her tank top off her body and as each inch of skin is revealed my mouth jaw drops, lower and lower. The first thing I notice is the tattoo on her back. She has a bellybutton ring and a tattoo, those are like my two favorite things on girls.

Combine that with Ashley…yowzers!

Her back is as toned and well defined as her abs, which makes for a very happy Spencer.

I hope Ashley doesn't look over at me because I can't stop staring.

Once her tank top has been discarded to the side, she lets her hair, which had been up in a ponytail, down. She runs her fingers through her brown tresses and I nearly start applauding.

This is so much better than I could have imagined.

And believe me I did.

Ashley unzips her jeans next as I slide my sunglasses down my nose, it's just too good a sight to see behind shades.

That's right baby, take it off, take it all off for me.

You know you want to.

Oh god, I sound like some skeezy dude.

I stop berating myself when Ashley starts to shimmy her jeans down those fantastic legs of hers.

I want to grab the garden hose and douse her in water so badly.

I've seen way too many beer commercials.

Her legs are exquisite, just like the rest of her.

And her black bikini is all kinds of sexy.

I'm seriously about to burst.

She bends down to pick up her jeans and I just about lose it.

Fuck!

Ashley is without a doubt the sexiest woman alive.

If I ran People magazine, she'd be on the cover of every issue.

Ashley starts turning back towards me and I notice just in the nick of time. I slide my sunglasses back up my nose and resume my earlier position so she won't be able to figure out what I was just doing.

Holy shit!

If I thought the back of Ashley was sexy, that's nothing compared to what she looks like in a bikini from the front.

I don't know if I can handle how smoking she is.

One more push, and I'm going to go over the edge.

"Hey Spence." Ashley says as she pushes her sunglasses up and onto her head.

"Yeah." I reply as I hang onto the last shred of self control I have.

Ashley reaches into her bag for something before she addresses me. "Do you think you could rub sunblock on my back so I don't burn?"

She's actually asking me to rub my hands all over her nearly naked flesh!

Good-bye world, it was nice knowing you.

I think I just died!

But what a way to go!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I, Spencer Carlin, being of sound mind and incredible body…

Ashley holds the sunblock out for me to take.

Oh my god!

I'm not dead!

Yes!

But wait.

Ashley wants me to put my hands all over her.

How in the hell am I going to control myself?

By remembering that you aren't some sort of animal who can't control her lust driven urges, that's how.

Is it a bad sign that I asked myself a question and then answered it?

Probably, but enough about me, onto the task at hand.

My hands.

On Ashley's flesh.

Rubbing and stroking her.

All over.

Damn, I am so in over my head here.

I turn my brain off Ashley for just a second so it can make my arms and legs move. I stand up and take three short steps over to my one and only.

So far, so good.

I haven't tripped and I haven't tackled her to the ground.

I follow Ashley's earlier lead and push my own sunglasses on top of my head. Our eyes meet, which is nothing short of a miracle considering there are other parts of her that I'd rather be looking at.

What?

It's all Ashley's fault.

She's the one with the astounding body that I can't stop ogling.

I'm defenseless against the power she has over me.

And I surrender to her, gladly.

"Here you go." Ashley says as she passes the sunblock over.

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini that I get to touch!

Ashley in a bikini that I get to touch and fondle!

Oh, I better not fondle her, yet.

I'll wait until she asks me to.

I've been told I have magic fingers, so I'm feeling a little more confident than normal.

It's time to give Ashley a sneak preview of what I have to offer.

Sexy Spencer wants to come out and play.

Actually, she wants to make Ashley come but she'll settle for this, for now.

"I'm happy to be of service." I reply after I remember that going mute is not attractive. I tilt my head as I reach for the bottle that will allow me to grope Ashley without my undying love for her being so evident.

When our hands touch it creates an absolute firestorm deep within in me. I have felt jolts of attraction before from other girls, and from Ashley herself, but none as powerful as this one.

Not even close.

One a scale from one to ten, ten being the hottest, I'd rate this touch a sixty-nine.

Ha ha.

Sixty-nine!

Right, where was I?

Oh yeah, I'm about to get the opportunity of a lifetime.

I'm so distracted by Ashley and my own depraved mind that the bottle slips right through my fingers.

Fuck!

That better not be prophetic or anything.

There's no way I'm letting Ashley slip through my fingers, not now, not ever!

I really need to get a grip on reality before I make a complete mess out her simple request.

I let out a few nervous giggles, "Sorry about that." I bend down to pick up the sunblock and apparently Ashley had the same idea. Our heads collide about halfway down and I'm sent sprawling backwards, onto my ass.

Fuck again!

That hurt like you wouldn't believe.

Not to mention I've done exactly what I feared I was going to do.

I rub my forehead instead of Ashley's back, which I would be doing if I wasn't such a clumsy fool. I hope that doesn't leave a mark.

"Are you ok?" Ashley asks. She's standing over me, looking like a goddess, while I'm on my butt, as per usual.

I send Sexy Spencer into a corner so she can think about what she did. I make a deal with myself not to let her out again for any reason.

I shield my eyes with my hand as I look up at the vision before me. "Yeah, I'm ok." My ego isn't, but that's to be expected. "How about you?"

"I have a hard head, so I'm good." She jokes and I know she's not joking at my expense. That's one of the most endearing qualities about Ashley, she never makes me feel bad about myself, even when I probably should.

Don't get me wrong, I still want to ravish her like you wouldn't believe, but the fact that she can make me feel comfortable is one of her best qualities.

What are her other good qualities you ask?

Ashley in a bikini!

Oh yeah!

"Let me help you." She says as she extends both her hands out to me. I latch on tight and bounce up from the ground when she pulls me.

I almost slam right into her, but luckily I stop myself at the last minute. However, we are standing very, very close together and my body starts buzzing because of it.

I want to say something, anything, so she doesn't realize the affect she's having on me. For some reason, Ashley isn't talking either, we're just standing, inches apart, gazing at one another.

I contemplate the pros and cons of grabbing Ashley and kissing the hell out of her, but my common sense and the fact that we're at my parents' house nix that idea, despite how good an idea it is.

It's not easy though, I want to give in to what I'm feeling so badly even though there's all these other factors involved.

I don't even know if Ashley's into me.

Or if she'd even consider the possibility that she might be attracted to girls.

And then there's Aiden.

Who could forget about him?

I wish Ashley could.

I can't think about any of that now, especially him. I need to focus on Ashley and Ashley only. I'm the one she's with, we're alone, nobody else is around and I still haven't gotten to really touch her.

Yet.

I refuse to let my mind be responsible for letting this chance go by without me taking it.

My own advice and Jessie's, god bless her, is what I decide to follow. No more second guessing myself, no more going around in circles, no more asking questions I don't have the answers to and no more psyching myself out.

I tear my eyes away from Ashley's in order to get the sunblock from the ground where it so doesn't belong. I stand back up and after a few deep breaths, I feel as composed as humanly possible around Ashley. She turns around and I prepare myself for what is sure to be the best sunblock application in history.

For me that is.

And maybe for her to, if I'm lucky.

I squeeze some lotion into my hands, "Can you lift your hair up for me?" I request. That's right I'm not going to let even one inch of her burn.

I know, I know, I'm so thoughtful.

Ashley grabs her hair and pulls it to the side.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

I start off at the base of her neck and I nearly keel over from the intensity of what touching Ashley does to me. My hands work their way over to her shoulders and as I get more into it, I notice that goosebumps are forming on my dear Ashley's skin.

That's odd.

It's not cold out at all.

Her skin is so warm and soft, but her body is hard and toned.

It really should be illegal to be as good looking as her.

"Is something wrong?" Ashley asks when I stop my not so innocent grope fest.

Yes!

You're so hot that I want to have sex with you right here, right now.

"No, not at all." I assure her. "I'm just getting more sunblock."

You know what else should be illegal?

Having a voice as sultry as Ashley's.

My fingertips graze the skin right by the back of Ashley's bikini top.

I wonder if she'll catch on if I 'accidentally' unhook the clasps and it happens to fall to the ground.

Better yet, I'll just tell Ashley that my parents are European so we believe in topless sunbathing.

No, she's too smart to fall for that one.

I'm barely even breathing because I'm too preoccupied with other things to bother with such trivial tasks.

When I reach Ashley's sides, she flinches.

Oh no!

She's clued into the fact that I'm warm for her form!

Curses!

Ashley clears her throat, "Sorry, I'm ticklish."

Really?

I'll have to store information for later.

I mumble something back to her but I'm not to sure what I just said. I'll pray that it wasn't vulgar and crude.

I run my fingers along the tattoo on her lower back and I'm a little sad because I'm almost done.

Oh well, all good things must come to an end.

I move my hands along the rest of her skin that hasn't been touched by me as slowly as I can without being too obvious about it. When I can't pretend that there's any reason for me to be prolonging what has been an absolute pleasure to do, I take a step back.

"All done." I tell Ashley and I can't help the disappointment that creeps into my voice. So much for not being obvious.

"Thanks." Ashley says softly once she's facing me again. "Do you want me to do you now?"

Yes!

Yes!

A gazillion times yes!

Oh, she means putting sunblock on my back.

My answer's still the same despite that little misinterpretation of her question.

"Sure." I reply as I try not to appear overly giddy and excited.

If rubbing sunblock on Ashley didn't make me pass out, this probably will.

Please, please, please, don't let me pass out.

Ashley also starts her rubdown of me at my neck and I have to bite my bottom lip to prevent some not so innocent sounds from escaping my mouth. Everything about Ashley electrifies me but what she's doing now is a thousand watts stronger than anything else I've felt around her.

Her hands are gentle but strong.

Guitar playing hands!

Yeah baby!

I think I hear her breathing heavier than before but I don't trust my desire driven self enough to fully believe my own accounts of what is going on. It's entirely possible that I'm hearing what I want to hear as opposed to the truth.

I just want to melt into her touch, to melt into her, to show Ashley exactly what she does to me but I allow myself to just take pleasure in having her hands all over my back.

And my sides.

And nearly by my ass.

Fuck!

She's making me feel really, really good.

Especially in certain parts of my now highly aroused body.

I can only imagine what it might feel like to have her touch me in those places.

Now that would be the ultimate way to go!

My goal is to turn that fantasy into a reality.

One day.

One day soon.

Today!

Right now!

This second!

"All done." Ashley announces.

Foiled again!

Gah!

That's ok, Ashley just caressed and rubbed me.

I still feel like a winner.

"Thanks." I say as I turn around. "Do you want to go for a swim?"

Ashley does that sassy laugh of hers as she poses for me. "And ruin my beautiful hair, I don't think so."

I roll my eyes even though inwardly I'm putty in her hands. "You think way too highly of yourself." No she doesn't. "You might want to just get it over with."

"Get what over with?" Ashley asks as she raises her eyebrow.

Damn, I wish I could do that.

"We're going swimming at some point today." I reply and I throw in a head tilt for good measure.

"Maybe I'll put my feet in the water later but that's about it." Ashley shoots back as her eyes light up from that dazzling smile of hers.

"Oh really?" I cross my arms to show her that she's not going to win.

"Yeah, really." She retorts so playfully I fall even more in love with her.

"I'm not going to give up, just so you know." I stand directly in front of Ashley and we're both smiling. "By the end of the day, I will get you wet."

Oh my god!

What did I just say?

Oh my god!

That came across so much gayer than I meant it to!

Damn you dirty mind, damn you!

Ashley doesn't look grossed our disgusted, she actually laughs. "I'd like to see you try." She leaves me shell shocked and silently berating myself to lie down on one of the lawn chairs.

Did Ashley just flirt back or am I going crazy?

Well, crazier than I usually am.

Wait.

I think I'm missing the bigger picture here.

Did Ashley actually say she'd like to see me try to get her wet?

Because if that's the case, she doesn't have to ask me twice.

"Are you coming?" Ashley inquires because I still haven't moved.

I'm close, believe me.

So damn close.

I walk over to Ashley and lie down in the chair beside to her.

No, not in the same chair, unfortunately.

She smiles at me as I get comfortable and I have a feeling I'm in for a very long, but hopefully very enjoyable afternoon.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

My mom arrived home from the grocery store a few minutes after Ashley and I finished rubbing sunblock all over each other.

Thankfully she didn't come back sooner or she could have ruined the moment.

For once I caught a break and I hope that pattern continues for the rest of the day.

She offered to make us something to eat but neither one of us is hungry so we told her no thanks.

Ok, ok, that's not a hundred percent true.

I am hungry.

For Ashley that is.

If I were a betting woman, I'd bet she tastes delicious.

I'm really lucky my life isn't like a comic strip because if it was and Ashley saw that thought bubble hanging over my head I'd be so screwed.

And not in a good way.

"So when did you know you liked girls?" Ashley asks completely out of nowhere.

We had been discussing our favorite TV shows before she made her inquiry.

Hers is The L Word in case you were wondering.

Actually, that's just wishful thinking on my part, her actual answer was 24.

That is another thing we have in common, I live for that show. Don't get me wrong, I'm gay, extremely gay, but there's something so intense about the way Keifer Sutherland plays Jack Bauer that I'd totally do him if I got the chance.

The character, not the actor.

Seriously, he makes me weak in the knees.

Not like Ashley of course, she's makes me weak in the knees and she also makes me weak in all the other parts of my body as well.

The sunblock incident distracts me for the umpteenth time since it happened and I can't stop myself from replaying it in my head.

Not that I'm really trying that hard mind you.

It's official, Ashley in a bikini! has been replaced.

Now it's, Ashley in a bikini caressing me in the most sensual manner possible!

Hmm, that doesn't sound as catchy but it felt fantastic!

I do believe Ashley just asked me a question about my sexuality.

That's a good sign, right?

I don't answer her, instead something else comes out of my mouth. "That's a pretty random question." I reply as I turn my head to look at her.

"Random questions are the best kind." She tells me with a smile.

Forget the Ashley-to-English dictionary, I'd settle for an Ashley decoder ring.

She's so cryptic and mysterious.

Her smile turns into a frown when I don't say anything right away. "I'm sorry. Am I getting too personal?"

I want to laugh so badly.

Hello!

I showed you my breasts!

I think we're beyond too personal now.

"No not at all." I assure her and she seems to relax. "I was just making an observation."

Ashley takes a sip of water before addressing me again. "I'm curious."

I, of course, make a joke. "You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat."

Oh pussy, pussy cat.

I do want to share myself with Ashley as I hope she shares herself with me at some point in time. I have to be honest, I want to ask Ashley about her thoughts and past but I'm avoiding those topics for now because I'm going to assume that will bring Aiden into our conversation.

He's just not what I want to be discussing.

I even made up a little song about him.

Want to hear it?

Here it goes.

Aiden, Aiden go away, don't come back, ever!

I never said I had talent in the song writing department.

I turn on my side and so does Ashley. "Growing up I always felt different from my friends. It wasn't something I could ever put my finger on but when they'd fantasize about their dream wedding I never joined in. And when they started getting crushes on boys and I didn't I thought at first something was wrong with me."

Ashley nods along with my story.

"If I had to pick an exact moment I guess it would have to be when I went to sleepover camp the summer before I started high school." I continue.

"That seems like a good place. All those girls at your disposal." Ashley teases.

I shake my head, "Not exactly, it was my counselor that I became enamored with."

Ashley wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, "Ooh, an older woman, impressive."

"It wasn't like that at all." I want to also add a shut up in there but I think I say that too much. "Nothing happened, but I wanted to spend all my time with her and I got really jealous when she'd hang out with other people."

"Are you telling me you're possessive?" Ashley asks but I can tell she's not being serious.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." I respond with a smile. "Once I have my eye on someone I don't let them out if my sight."

Wait.

That's sounding too accurate.

I have to move on.

"She was my first real crush and after her I noticed how much better looking girls were than guys." I finish.

Ashley chuckles, "That's a good way to put it."

I grin and if I wasn't lying down I tilt my head. "And completely true."

Ashley sits up and changes positions so she's sitting cross legged. "Did you have a lot of girlfriends in high school."

Uh oh.

Why did she have to bring that up?

It's not her fault I know, but I still don't want to talk about that part of my life.

It's going to send me to my not so happy place, which is not somewhere where I want to go.

Being around Ashley puts me in a permanent good mood and I refuse to let what happened with Melissa bring me down.

I feel a bubble of emotion forming in my throat and I try to swallow it down but that doesn't work. I just don't get it, why does something I thought I was over keep coming up? Before I met Ashley I hadn't thought about Melissa in so long. But since that day I've thought about her more often then I would have liked in such a short period of time.

She already broke my heart, there's not a chance I'm going to let her wreck my time with Ashley.

I'll just answer her question and leave it at that.

"Just one." I reply.

There, mission accomplished.

"Sounds intriguing." Ashley comments, ignoring or not noticing the obvious discomfort I'm in. "Were you guys together long?"

Fuck!

I'm not ready to discuss this yet.

"Almost two years." I answer.

Short and honest, let's see if Ashley drops the subject now.

She doesn't.

"What happened?" She asks quietly.

Ashley and I are supposed to be flirting, or kissing or anything else besides what we're delving into.

Hell, I'd even talk about Aiden instead of this.

Yeah, that's how much I want to change the topic.

"Long story." I say and then I do something that I probably shouldn't but I do it anyway.

I get up and walk over to the edge of the pool. I sit down so my legs are dangling in the water as I try to figure out some way to salvage the rest of the afternoon. I know I shouldn't have just left Ashley but I don't think I can keep up the charade of everything being fine when she clearly wasn't reading the signals I was giving her.

She must think I'm some sort of whack job. I wouldn't blame her, Melissa and I ended seven years ago and I'm still feeling the affects of that break up to this day.

How pathetic is that?

I was so naïve when it came to her. I believed we'd be together forever because she said we would and I know looking back that was completely ridiculous on my part. But that's how I truly felt and she never gave me any reason to doubt her until that night.

I can't keep my shit together around Ashley when I'm trying to impress her and in the middle of a simple conversation I bolted because I don't want to face what happened.

"So I'm going to assume I really put my foot in my mouth." Ashley remarks after she's taken a seat beside me.

No, that's my thing.

Here we go again, Ashley coming to find out why I've acted like an ass.

Why she's still hanging out with me, I'll never know.

"I probably should have thought about what I was saying more. I'm sorry Spence." Ashley says as we make eye contact.

No!

She shouldn't feel bad.

She didn't do anything wrong.

I grip the edge of the pool with my hands while trying to act like nothing's wrong. "It's no big deal, don't worry about it."

Ashley furrows her brow and I'm certain she doesn't believe a word I just said. "You don't have to tell me anything but if you want to, I'm a fairly good listener."

I give her a small smile before I turn back to the water before me. I don't even flinch when our bare shoulders brush against each other for a brief moment. For once I'm not consumed by everything Ashley; instead I'm taking a trip down memory lane that isn't pleasant.

Can I really open up to her?

Can I let her in to the part of me that very few people see?

I want to, it's just not as easy as it should be.

My concern is if I start telling Ashley this story I'm pretty sure I won't be able stop at the part that I do with everyone else who I've opened up to.

There aren't that many people that know but of those people, nobody knows the whole truth.

At first I didn't say anything because I was dealing with the betrayal I was going through, not to mention the humiliation also. But as more time passed and as my heart began to slowly mend itself I couldn't bring myself to repeat what I had heard.

I don't think it's healthy to blame someone else for my actions but a large part of who I am stems from that incident and our break up.

"I'm such an idiot." Ashley mutters under her breath.

And now I feel even worse.

Ashley is berating herself because of me.

Because of my issues, and that's not fair to her.

"No you're aren't." I say to make her feel better. "This is my hang up and has nothing to do with you."

Ashley refuses to let herself off the hook. "I pushed you when you clearly didn't want to be pushed."

"Ash, trust me, you aren't to blame here." I rebut. "I'm just being silly."

"It's not silly because you're upset." Ashley reaches over and puts her hand over mine. "I upset you and I'm sorry."

She's so caring.

And the look in her eyes lets me know that she truly cares about me.

Maybe that seems odd considering how long we've known one another but she makes me believe that she honestly does.

Whenever I'm down on myself about something I've done in front of her she has a knack for driving all my bad feelings away.

It makes me trust her more then I thought I could trust someone I was interested in romantically. Usually I'm so much more guarded around people but not with Ashley.

"This isn't easy for me." I confess.

What's the point in lying?

She can read me like a book.

"You don't have to tell me." Ashley replies. "We can just forget about it and go back to discussing how bad the last season of 24 was."

But here's the thing, I can't forget about it.

Clearly.

It would be so much easier if I could.

And if I really do want a shot at something real and something long term with Ashley I have to get over Melissa.

Not in the sense that I would ever get back together with her or still harbor feelings that I haven't got ridden of. What I'm not over is the way we parted and what occurred after I caught her with another girl.

My throat closes up on me despite my decision to not hold back anymore. The words I want to say get stuck in there and then Ashley squeezes my hand again.

That gesture, her warm and understanding nature is what allows me to believe that I can do this

I let out a shaky breath as I reconnect our eyes.

I think…

I think I'll tell her everything.


	24. Chapter 24

 

Chapter 24

My stomach tightens and even though I want to look at Ashley as I'm telling her my story, I just can't. I cast my eyes on the blue water of the pool and I don't hear anything else but the thumping of my heart.

I'm nervous.

I'm nervous and scared.

Opening up is hard, especially when I've kept this in for so long.

I know it's the right thing to do, but just because I know that doesn't make it any less difficult.

I'm not going to change my mind though, I need to do this, not only for a possibility at a future with Ashley but for myself as well.

I can't have what happened with Melissa weighing me down any longer. I thought I had moved on but I haven't. It's time to face my past so I can release the hold it has on me.

I pick a spot in the water to concentrate on and then I begin.

"I met Melissa the first day of my junior year." I literally ran into her and sent both of us sprawling to the ground. I apologized profusely and she accepted my apology by giving me a dazzling smile. I was enamored by her immediately so I offered to show her around seeing as she had just transferred to our school. She was an army brat and had moved around so much that she had been held back a year. So even though she was a year older than me I was overjoyed to find out we had a lot of the same classes together. "We hit it off and it wasn't long before I was hanging around her all the time."

I don't have to be looking at Ashley to know I have her full attention. I can feel her eyes on me and I can also feel an intensity radiating from her that urges me on.

"A couple of weeks after we first met we were studying in my room and I was struggling to come to terms with what I was feeling for her. I knew it went beyond friendship but at the same time I wasn't ready to admit that I was attracted to her." Despite the pain that Melissa caused me, I can't help but smile as I recall what happened that day.

* * *

_I'm lying on my stomach beside Melissa and I'm trying to do my math homework. I'm not getting anything done though because we're lying very close together and I'm so distracted._

_I've dated a few guys but none of them have made me feel even remotely close to what Melissa does. She makes my stomach flip flop every time we touch. When she laughs, it makes me warm all over and once when we fell asleep after a late night of gabbing and I woke up snuggled up beside her, I wanted to stay that way for as long as possible._

_"What did you get for number five?" Melissa asks as she chews on the back end of her pencil._

_I can't tear my eyes away from her lips, I want them on my own lips so badly and I'm scared of what that means._

_Am I gay?_

_That's the question that's been running through my head for the last week non-stop.  
_ __  
Or am I confused?

_Deep down I know the answer, I've know it for quite some time but I'm terrified of what being gay means._

_I don't want to be different, nobody in high school really does. I don't want to stick out from the crowd, I want to be normal and so many people view homosexuality as anything but normal._

_I've never gotten that message from my parents but from the outside world that message is screamed at you in so many different ways._

_I get that I don't really have a choice in the matter, I can't help who I have feelings for. It still doesn't stop me from wishing I was like everybody else._

_Even if I'm brave enough to admit who I really am, I don't have a clue if Melissa would return my feelings. We've stayed clear of discussing relationships and I'm terrified that if I share this big secret with her, I'll lose her friendship._

_And I couldn't bear for that to happen._

_On the other hand, I feel like I have this big weight on my shoulders. There's this voice inside my head that's telling me to be true to myself and to be honest with her._

_Nobody wants to be rejected though and having Melissa reject me would, I'm certain, be devastating._

_I'm so conflicted about what to do._

_"Yo, Spence, what's going on in that mind of yours?" Melissa inquires. She puts down her math book and turns on her side as she waits for my response. Her head is propped up my her hand and she seems very concerned by my silence._

_I can't keep living this lie, I can't hold the truth inside of me any longer._

_"I think…" I hope she doesn't hate me. "I think I like girls."_

_Melissa's eyes widen, I'm not even breathing at this point as I brace myself for the worst._

_"What do you mean like?" Melissa gently asks. I can't read what she's thinking but that doesn't deter me from being completely honest, not when I've come this far._

_"You know, like, like." I whisper. "I'm gay," I continue to ensure there's no misunderstanding. My voice sounds foreign to me, like it's not my voice and everything turns very surreal. I drop my head and my body is trembling. Thinking those words and saying them out loud are two completely different things. "And I like you." I breathe out. I can't take any of this back now, but I don't want to. Even if Melissa hates me, I still feel relieved that I've gotten everything off my chest._

_"You have no idea how happy that makes me." Melissa replies quickly. "No idea."_

_I lift my head as my heart soars to new heights. "What did you just say?" I have to make sure that I've heard her correctly._

_Melissa's smiling widely and her eyes are sparkling. "Why don't I show you instead." My breath gets_ _caught in my throat when she pushes me gently on my back and moves on top of me._

_I don't have a lot of time to react before her lips are softly brushing against mine. I can't even adequately express how amazing it feels to be touching her like this. To feel her breath against my skin, to feel her mouth opening up to me._

_We gently explore each other and as we continue to kiss in my bedroom, all my doubts and fears are erased._

_This feels so right._

_I feel like I'm flying because I've finally admitted what I've been holding in for so long._

_And the fact that Melissa likes me back makes this moment even more special_.

* * *

"We kept our relationship a secret at first." She was so sweet and patient in the beginning, that's what I think made the way we ended hurt even more. "Eventually I worked up the courage to tell my parents and after they reacted well I no longer cared what anyone else thought."

Nobody really hassled Melissa and me, except Madison of course, but even her attitude didn't bother me that much.

The pit in my stomach grows stronger as I leave my good memories and enter the part of our relationship that still causes a pang in my heart.

"Towards the end of our senior year, things between Melissa and I changed." I hope I can get through this without crying, but I suspect I won't. "We started spending less time together and she always seemed to be working or busy with her family." I should have suspected what was going on, but I was so in love with her that I did not or could not see what was right in front of my eyes. "When I would ask her if everything was ok, she'd tell me I was worrying for nothing." God, I was so stupid. "We had made plans to backpack across Europe over the summer and she'd tell me that's the reason why we weren't spending as much time together. She wanted to put in extra hours at her job so we'd have the trip of a lifetime."

Ashley squeezes my hand, she actually hasn't let go once, and her quiet support is exactly what I need.

"I trusted Melissa and she'd never given me a reason not to." I felt so blessed that I had such a wonderful girlfriend who my family accepted. My parents were very fond of her and they welcomed her into their lives with open arms. "As graduation got closer, I kept dropping hints to Melissa about how much I wanted to go to prom with her. She had always taken charge in our relationship so me asking her didn't feel quite right."

My eyes start to water but I'm not going to stop.

I can't.

No matter how much I'm hurting.

"When I actually worked up the courage to find out if she wanted to go, she told me that prom really wasn't her thing." I told her I understood but I couldn't hide my disappointment. "And then one day about a week before prom she showed up at my locker holding a single long stem red rose." I remember wondering if she'd done something wrong, because she wasn't really the flower giving type of girl. It's not that she wasn't thoughtful, she was but she tended to shy away from what was deemed conventional in terms of romance. My doubts vanished though with what she did next. "She got down on one knee, and asked me to be her date for prom in front of what felt like the entire student body."

I had been very moody with her after finding out she didn't have any intention of going to prom.

I felt like such an ass when I realized she was just trying to surprise me.

"I screamed yes and I was so excited that when I lunged at her to give her a hug, I tripped over my feet and fell to the ground beside her. She pulled me off the ground and kissed my embarrassment away." A few tears begin to fall and Ashley moves a little closer to me. "I didn't even care that people were laughing, I was going to prom with the girl that I loved and nothing else seemed important."

I spent hours shopping with my mom to find the perfect dress.

I made sure it was blue because that was Melissa's favorite color.

"The night before prom I was supposed to pick Melissa up from work but I told her my parents wanted me at home." I blink to try and stop the flow of tears but it doesn't work. "I was actually planning to surprise her with a romantic picnic in the park. I packed up a big picnic basket and I was so excited to see her reaction. I know she really wasn't that keen to go to prom but was going for me, so I wanted to do something nice for her in return."

I use my free hand to get wipe my eyes.

Ashley hasn't said one word since I started talking but I know she's listening to me.

I'm pretty sure she can sense where my story is going.

"When I showed up at the end of her shift the store was already closed." My voice cracks as a slew of images race through my mind. "I grabbed the picnic basket from my trunk and went around back because she often kept the door unlocked. The door was slightly ajar and I heard voices inside which I found odd because Melissa was supposed to be working by herself."

My gut told me something was off, but I ignored it.

I think some part of me knew what I was going to see before I actually did.

It's amazing how your whole world can be changed in a split second.

When I arrived at Melissa's work, I had a girlfriend who I loved dearly, I saw a future with her and I had all these dreams for us.

But all that changed the second I pushed the door open and I saw her with Becky.

Becky and Melissa had become friends a few months earlier. I thought nothing of it because I trusted my girlfriend and I wasn't the jealous type. Becky and I didn't spend a lot of time together and now I knew why.

I went numb as I watched Becky kiss Melissa.

She was kissing my girlfriend.

The girl I was in love with.

Whose lips I had kissed that afternoon.

The girl who made promises and told me I was the love of her life.

Her soul mate.

I have never felt so stupid or betrayed as I did in that moment.

They didn't see me, but I saw them, I saw everything in bright shiny colors.

My head was filled with so much noise as I continued to stare at the two of them.

I couldn't move.

I tried.

But I was frozen and in shock.

My whole world, what I thought was my life was crumbling right before my eyes and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

The numbness began to fade and I had never felt such pain before.

This is the part where I usually stop, where my story ends, but having Melissa cheat on me is not what I can't get over.

It's not what has stayed with me since that night.

"Oh Spence." Ashley says as she puts her arm around my shoulder.

I don't let her say another word, I don't allow myself to seek comfort from her because if I do I won't finish what needs to be finished.

* * *

_Becky begins to unbutton Melissa's work shirt, oblivious to the fact that I'm standing by the door, taking the whole scene in._

_I can't tear my eyes away from them._

_I want to run._

_I want to leave but my feet feel like two cement blocks._

_"I'm so glad Spencer canceled on me." Melissa moans. Becky nips at her neck and all I can see is her red hair as she moves to the other side of Melissa's neck._

_"Speaking of Spencer," Becky pulls back and wraps her arms around Melissa's waist, my girlfriend's waist. "When are you going to tell her about us?"_

_"Soon, I promise." Melissa pledges right before she gets rid of Becky's shirt. "Right after prom."_

_"You better mean that." Becky replies. "I'm sick of hiding us."  
_ __  
"You know that you're the only one I want." Melissa coos making me sick to my stomach. "You're the one I love."

_Every word from her mouth is like a giant knife through my heart._

_I thought I was the one she loved._

_I thought I was the one she couldn't live without._

_That's what she told me, day after day, night after night._

_All lies._

_Was everything she ever told me a lie?_

_"So why are you with her?" Beck asks as straddles Melissa on the empty desk._

_"I don't want to hurt her, so I'll go with her to that fucking prom she won't stop rambling about and then I'll let her down gently." Melissa explains._

_I'm almost blinded by my pain._

_This person I'm watching isn't the girl I've known the last two years._

_Or has Melissa been this person all along?_

_I've given myself completely to her, I've given her every last piece of my heart and I suddenly have the feeling that I don't know her at all._

_Becky shakes her head as she lets out a catty laugh. "I don't know what you ever saw in that girl."_

_Melissa tucks a few strands of Becky's hair behind her ears. "She's a nice girl and I've had fun with her."_

_Nice girl!_

_Fun!_

_Is that all I am to her?_

_Nice and fun?_

_I thought we shared so much more._

_Becky runs her finger across Melissa's jaw line. "She may be a nice girl, but I'm the one who's going to make you scream and I'm the one who's going to fuck you so good right now."_

_My brain is screaming at me to run so I don't have to see anything else._

_But I'm still not able to get my feet moving._

_I'm not even crying, I don't think I've really processed what I'm seeing and hearing.  
_ __  
"It's not like I even have to worry about what happens if Spencer finds out about us." Becky continues as she pushes herself into Melissa. "If she tried to fight me for you, she'd probably end up punching herself in the face."

_And then they laugh._

_So fucking hard._

_At my expense._

_At me._

_And I'm almost certain this isn't the first time they've done so._

_"Or maybe she'd fall on her face like she did when you asked her to prom." Becky manages to get out and they laugh even harder. "That girl is so fucking clumsy."_

_My chest tightens and my throat closes as I listen to them making fun of me._

_"I'm surprised you two can have sex without her landing in the hospital." Becky says and another round of laughing starts. "She is such a loser."_

_I feel so utterly humiliated._

_Is that what Melissa really thinks about me?_

_She always told me it was cute when I'd do something klutzy._

_More lies._

_So many fucking lies._

_"You be nice." Melissa playfully orders._

_"Make me." Becky challenges and suddenly I'm not the topic of conversation anymore._

_The pain radiates from the top of my head to the absolute tip of my toes._

_I'm shaking so badly that I drop the picnic basket I've been holding all this time._

_The picnic basket I thought would make Melissa happy._

_I was so fucking wrong._

_About her._

_About everything._

_"Spencer." Melissa exclaims when she notices I'm there. She pushes Becky off her and they're both out of breath._

_I don't stay to hear any more lies from mouth.  
_ __  
I can't.

_It's all too much._

_I somehow manage to get home which is nothing short of a miracle but when I see my mom I break down completely._

_She holds me in her arms and asks me what happened but I can't speak._

_I sob well into the night and my mom stays with me the whole time._

I told my mom that I caught Melissa with another girl, but I never went in to any details.

You should have seen her freak out on Melissa when she showed up at my house the next morning. She was screaming at her and through my tears I did smile a little at how protective she was of me.

My whole family was great actually, they rallied around me and gave me so much support. All of them kept me company that night, what would have been my prom night as we watched movies and played games.

My heart wasn't really in it, understandably, but the love I felt from my parents and my brothers made such a difference.

I didn't want to repeat any of those hurtful words even though I heard them continuously in my head. As the years passed, the words themselves weren't what stuck with me, it was their laughter.

They laughed like they were better than me.

They laughed like I was a joke.

They laughed like I was insignificant.

That's what I would hear when I even thought about dating again.

The laughter that said I wasn't good enough to keep my girlfriend.

The laughter that said I was nice not desirable.

The laughter that kept my heart so very guarded.

It would have been different if they were laughing at my hair color or something I could have changed about myself.

But they were laughing at who I was as a person.

My clumsiness can't be changed, like my sexuality, it's part of me.

It's what makes me, me, and I have accepted that.

I can laugh at myself now and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me.

When I went to college, I decided to change the way I approached girls. Sexy Spencer was born because that's what I thought girls wanted. I had been tossed aside and ridiculed by someone I thought loved me and I wasn't going to make that mistake twice.

I projected confidence and had this whole I-get-what-I-want attitude and I've been doing that for a very long time now.

Until Ashley.

Until I met someone I feel a very strong connection to.

As much as Sexy Spencer is actually a part of my personality and as much as I want Ashley to find me desirable, if she's going to fall for me, like I've fallen for her, I need it to be for the real me.

Not the persona I created to protect myself.

Maybe that's why I keep doing things in front of Ashley that end up with me being embarrassed.

I want her to see me for who I am.

The Spencer that tends to fall down.

But I'm also the Spencer that gets back up.

The Spencer that dances around in her underwear.

The Spencer that has a dorky side.

The Spencer that will cry at a sappy movie.

The Spencer that's been waiting for someone to come along who will love me, all of me, like I know I can love them.

I need Ashley to want that Spencer more then I want her to find me attractive.

I'm not saying that attraction isn't important, of course it is, but I have to have her see the other side of me as well.

I can't change who I am, and I don't want to, despite what Melissa thought or for anybody else.

But I still hear their laughter.

And I wonder if that will ever change.

"I'm sorry." Ashley says as she tightens her arm around my shoulder. "That must have been so hard for you."

I shrug and I'm still in a bit of daze after revealing so much to her.

Ashley has my trust and if she wants it, I'll give her my whole heart.

All of it.

I've already shown her more of me then I ever thought I'd be comfortable showing someone I have such strong feelings for.

She makes it easy for me, I don't know how exactly but she does.

"Everybody gets hurt." I say as I finally let myself be comforted by her.

"That girl is an idiot." Ashley replies strongly. "She shouldn't have said those things about you."

"She didn't know I was at the door." I sniff. "Becky was…"

"Not Becky." Ashley cuts in. She pulls back and I work up the nerve to look at her again. Her eyes are kind and full of compassion just like I suspected they would be.

Despite my pain, despite the faint laughter I still hear in my ear, Ashley's words touch me.

"She's not worthy of you Spence and I hope you realize that." Ashley continues and the hollow feeling in my chest is slowly being replaced by warmth that Ashley creates in there. "She's lucky to have been a part of your life and she's a fucking moron for not realizing what she had."

"Thanks." I whisper. I can't say more, I actually don't know what to say exactly except that word. It's what I feel, thankful that she's in my life now and thankful that I've finally told someone about what happened.

"You don't have to thank me, it's true." Ashley uses her thumb to get rid of my remaining tears and I don't feel like crying anymore. "I'm sure you didn't miss too much by not going to prom anyway."

I know she's only saying that to make me feel better, she's so thoughtful and so understanding. Ashley gets me like no one else I've ever met.

She's able to console and stop me from getting down on myself.

She's been a blessing that I am very grateful for.

"Did you have a bad time at your prom?" I ask.

Ashley rolls her eyes in that playful way I've come to adore. "Please, I was too busy being cool to care about prom."

I grin and I know she's not making fun of me. "Nobody asked you, huh?"

"Are you kidding, I had scores of invites." Ashley's grinning too. "My rock and roll image is what kept me away from prom. It would have gone against everything I believe in if I went."

I cross my arms and pretend to pout. "I can't believe you're teasing me after I've bared my soul to you."

I'm only joking around.

Ashley isn't making fun of me at all.

She's trying to make me laugh and forget about what happened.

It's working.

"That's because I'm a bad ass, and you thought I wasn't." Ashley jokes.

I tilt my head, "Please, you are not, you're such a softy." She is and I want to give her such a big hug, but I go another route. "Annie lover." I cough like I did last night and then I start giggling.

Ashley narrows her eyes at me, "Tit flasher!"

"Ashley!" I shriek making her laugh even harder. "I can't believe you just said that."

I nudge her with my shoulder and she nudges me right back.

From anyone else that comment might have bothered me.

But not from her.

Not when I see her looking at me like she does.

Not when I know she's not laughing at my expense.

She's not making fun of me behind my back.

She's just being Ashley and she's telling me that she likes this Spencer.

The one I've showed her.

Me.

She likes me.

As I watch her kill herself laughing at her own joke something changes.

She's no longer Ashley in a bikini!

Well, she'll always be that because she looks damn fine in one.

But now she's just Ashley.

The girl I'm crazy about.

And the girl that I know I can be myself around.

"If you thought I was bad for doing that, I guess you'll be shocked at what I'm about to do." Ashley announces.

I don't even have time to question her before she pushes me into the pool and then jumps in as well.

I come up sputtering for air and she looks so proud of herself.

I forget about everything else except wiping that grin off her face. "You are in so much trouble."

Ashley squeals as I start chasing her around the pool.

Eventually we enter an epic water splashing battle that I'm determined to win.

We're screaming and laughing as we each try get the upper hand.

And that's when it hits me.

I don't hear Melissa and Becky's laughter anymore.

Not even faintly.

All I hear is Ashley and I laughing.

Nobody else.

Us.

Together.

Perfect.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I've been repeating something in my head for the last few minutes.

It's not having the desired effect that I want it to.

I wasn't lying when I said Ashley wasn't just Ashley in a bikini! anymore.

Opening up and sharing with Ashley such a painful memory from my past made me feel closer to her. She knew exactly what do to make me forget about that horrible time in my life, like always.

But here's the thing.

After I won our water splashing contest Ashley decided to get out of the pool.

She swam over to the ladder, climbed out and walked over to her towel, dripping wet.

Dripping wet!

Then she dried herself off.

And now I'm trying to remember my name.

I think it's Spencer, but I'm not a hundred percent sure.

One of the things I like most about Ashley, and believe me there are a lot of different things I could name, is the fact that she doesn't realize how stunning she is.

Even her whole "I know I'm hot" act is just that, an act.

She doesn't come across as conceited at all and she carries herself like she isn't the most breathtakingly beautiful woman to ever walk the face of this earth.

I want to forge a deeper connection with her but at the same time I can't just ignore how my body responds to her either.

And right now, it's telling me to jump out of the water and show her my gratitude for being so caring with a multitude of kisses and some other stuff too.

I'm not going to do that though, it just wouldn't feel right after the intimate and special moment we just had. I also feel rather exposed, not because I'm wearing practically nothing in my own bikini, but more so because of the place in my heart I allowed Ashley to see.

While I trust Ashley it is unnerving to open up like that and basically detail for her every insecurity I have.

I'm going to have to squash my raging hormones for the time being as I let the reality of Ashley knowing about Melissa and Becky sink in.

"You're going to prune if you stay in the water Spence." Ashley calls out from the deck chair she's currently lying on.

I can't hide in the pool, just like I couldn't keep my story inside myself any longer.

I can do this.

I have faith in myself.

Maybe I'll just walk around all day with my eyes closed to avoid checking out Ashley like I know I'm going to.

Ok, ok, that won't work either, but it was worth a shot.

I swim over to the edge of the pool and take a deep breath as I climb out. I slick my hair back with both my hands as I make my way over to where Ashley is. I'm going as slow as possible because I have to ensure that I make it without falling.

As much as Ashley doesn't seemed bothered by my "two left feet" syndrome, I'd still like to show her that I can go a few hours without doing something embarrassing. For my own pride mainly and also because in the back of my mind I still doubt that she could find my clumsiness appealing.

My brain is a treacherous place with many different land mines and I have to tread very carefully to avoid setting another one off. There's only so much I can cope with and injuring myself again is not one of those things.

In case you were wondering what I've been repeating in my head, it's "she's not Ashley in a bikini!"

But one look at her, laid out in all her glory as the bright sun shines on her smooth skin, negates all the hard work I've put in to not objectifying her.

Holy hell!

Ashley does not appear to have one blemish.

There is not one part of her outside appearance that I would change.

And from what I've seen so far of her inner self, she's flawless.

How does she not know how fucking hot she is?

It's mind boggling!

"I was beginning to think you'd never come out of the water." Ashley says as I start wiping my body down.

"I was just basking in my victory." I gloat. I bend down to wipe my legs and when I stand back up Ashley's eyes aren't looking at mine. They seem to be on the lower region of my body.

Is she checking me out?

Could it be?

Ashley jumps when she realizes I'm watching her and the faintest pink hue covers her cheeks.

Or is that just from the sun?

"You wish Carlin." Ashley replies like nothing happened, and maybe nothing did.

I have been known to read too much into situations like these.

Instead of making things awkward, I lean over Ashley and wring my hair out so water covers her once dry stomach.

Of course by stomach I mean her perfectly toned six pack, belly ring included!

Ashley shrieks and I couldn't be more pleased with myself.

"We both know I won, so quit being so stubborn." I smirk.

"Just you wait Spencer, just you wait." Ashley warns with a big smile.

When she smiles, her whole face lights up.

It's positively captivating and that face will one day grace countless magazine covers.

No doubt about it.

I chuckle at her not so playful warning but I don't continue our bantering. There's something I need to tell her first.

"Ash." I say as I sit upright on the deck chair next to Ashley. "About earlier."

Ashley opens her eyes and I have her full attention.

I fidget with my fingers because I'm getting a bit emotional again. That's to be expected though and not something I didn't think would happen. "I really do want to thank you for listening to me. I know I said it before but…"

"You don't need to thank me Spence." Ashley interjects as she sits up as well.

I give her a small smile, "Yes I do. I feel so much better after getting that off my chest." Ashley leans forwards but I keep going before she can interrupt me a second time. "I've never told anyone what I heard."

Ashley seems surprised, "Really?"

I nod my head, "I was so humiliated."

Still am.

Not as much as before, but those feelings won't go away just like that.

I believe it will not long from now though.

Hopefully.

"You shouldn't feel that way, but I understand why you do." Ashley moves so she's kneeling in front of me and then she covers both my hands with hers. "You are so special Spencer, and you deserve to have someone who truly loves you, not someone like Melissa."

God, she really knows how to make my heart flutter.

Her eyes are sincere and I'm swooning like I've never swooned before.

"Whoever is privileged enough to have you love them should wake up every morning thanking their lucky stars that you're in their life." Ashley finishes in hushed whisper.

I want that to be you!

I want that to be you so badly it makes me ache.

"Thanks." I reply as I look down at her hands that are still covering mine.

Forget what I said before, now I'm swooning!

Once I revert my eyes back to hers, Ashley gazes into them for a few more seconds before returning to her seat. "I should be thanking you for trusting me." She hesitates and I'm still reeling from her earlier words. "I won't betray that trust."

"I know you won't." I assure her. "That's why I told you."

Our eyes linger on each other and my heart is beating so fast.

We're having a moment.

I think.

I hope Ashley doesn't find it weird that I opened up to her when I've only known her for five days.

Seems like a lifetime to me.

"I assume you're hungry now after all that screaming and laughing." My mom declares as she appears beside us with a tray of sandwiches and drinks.

She's the best!

And she's right, I'm famished.

"Thanks mom." I say as I grab the tray from her. "But you don't have to wait on us, I could have fixed me and Ashley some food."

My mom bends down and places a kiss on my forehead. "It's nice having kids around to take care of."

I know I'm blushing, I can feel the heat rising up my body and not because of Ashley this time. "Mom." I half groan. "I'm not a kid."

Ashley watches us interact without speaking.

"You'll always be my little girl." My mom replies as she grabs my chin.

Aw man, she's totally embarrassing me in front of Ashley!

She's going to think I'm a momma's girl.

My mom chuckles and then she pinches my nose.

My nose!

Like I'm five!

Argh!

"How are you Ashley?" My mom asks as she ignores the daggers I'm throwing at her with my eyes.

"I'm good Mrs. C." Ashley says after I hand her a sandwich.

My mom frowns, "I have to say I don't like the idea of you being all by yourself in a city you hardly know."

Aw, I take it back, my mom rocks!

She's as sweet as sugar.

Ashley shrugs and takes a bite of her sandwich. "It's no big deal, I'm used to being alone."

You know when someone says something like "it's no big deal" but you sense that it really is.

That's the exact feeling I'm getting now.

I wonder what that's about?

"Besides, your daughter had already promised to take care of me." Ashley finishes and I know I'm grinning like an idiot.

Ashley gives me a shy smile and I melt.

My mom glances between the two of us but she doesn't make any snide remarks. "Still, if you ever need anything, you can always call Arthur or me."

Aw again.

I have the coolest mom in the world!

Ashley smiles at my mom like I haven't seen before. "I will Mrs. C., I promise."

"Do you want to join us?" I ask her despite the fact that having my mom around would probably result in her embarrassing me some more.

I have to be polite though, plus she is pretty amazing.

"I would love to but I have a ton of paperwork to get through before the barbeque tonight. I want to make sure that I can fully enjoy being served by the boys tonight." She jokes and the three of us laugh.

That completely slipped my mind.

It's going to be a blast ordering Glen around.

Once my mom leaves, Ashley and I feast on the food she made for us.

"That was so good." Ashley says after she finishes her second sandwich. "You have a great mom."

I do!

"Are you close with yours?" I ask tentatively. I've already stuck my foot in my mouth in regards to Ashley's father, but I really do want to learn more about her.

Ashley shakes her head and her eyes suddenly look quite sad. "No, she wasn't really around when I was growing up."

As much as I don't want to upset Ashley, I want her to trust me and open up to me like I have with her.

"That must have been rough." I observe.

"I got a lot of freedom." Ashley replies and it's evident that she would have liked a mother more. "When my dad came home from touring he'd spend all his time with me."

I know what she's doing.

Ashley doesn't want me to feel sorry for her just like I didn't want her pity earlier.

I don't feel bad for it though, I feel sad. Sad that her mother didn't love her like a mother is supposed to and sad that her dad probably wasn't there for her as much as he should have been.

I'm not quite sure what to do.

I don't want to push Ashley.

But I don't want her to think that I don't care.

I'm probably over thinking way too much, I know, it's just her eyes are really getting to me.

They make me want to hug her sadness away.

"It sounds like you were close to him." I venture carefully.

"He gave me my first guitar." Ashley says wistfully. "He was the one who taught me how to play."

I'm going to let her lead the rest of this conversation.

But I'm glad I've learnt a bit more about the mysterious and alluring Ashley Davies.

I wait for her to either continue her story or go another route.

"Did you have any nicknames as a kid?" Ashley asks. I can tell she feels bad for not giving up any more details about her past but I'm not upset or anything.

I can be patient.

Ashley is worth waiting for.

And when she's ready to open up more, I'll be here.

That I guarantee.

I tilt my head as I smile at her, "You really do like those random questions." Ashley opens her mouth, I think, to apologize but I'm not going to let her.

You know what else I'm not going to do?

Disclose that information.

Because I did have a nickname.

But she can never know what it is.

Ever.

Look, I've already shared my deepest darkest secret.

Some things a girl has to keep to herself.

Like this.

I don't even want to imagine the horror of Ashley finding out what my nickname was.

Shudder.

And here's my chance to lighten the mood for her.

See how that works, she scratches my back, I scratch hers.

Or perhaps we could work out an even better arrangement.

"Sexy Spencer." I exclaim in all seriousness.

She hasn't helped me thus far, might as well see if she can do me some good now.

Ashley doesn't believe me.

I can tell because she's killing herself laughing.

"Yeah right." She scoffs. "I can only imagine all the other children calling you that when you were a kid."

"I can't help it that I'm that appealing." I joke.

Ashley keeps laughing and then she excuses herself to go use the bathroom.

Whew.

Even though she knows I was lying at least that subject has been avoided.

I lie back down on the deck chair and wait for Ashley to get back.

All in all, I'm thinking this afternoon has turned out to be a very good thing for us.

We're at ease with each other, I've let Ashley know I trust her and I'm slowly working on earning that trust from her as well.

Not too shabby.

"I'm back." Ashley announces because I have my eyes closed.

"Welcome." I reply.

"Hey Spence" Ashley says.

I strain my neck to the side and when my eyes open I see Ashley looking like the cat who swallowed a canary.

What's that about?

"Yes?"

Ashley clears her throat and then she makes the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper."

Oh!

My!

God!

I'm going to kill my mother!

Ashley must have asked her about my nickname when she went inside!

Fuck!

What a sneaky devil!

Ah!

I want to scream!

Ashley's smirking but I'm too pissed to comment on how fucking sexy she is.

Oh my god!

Ashley in a bikini! is now Ashley the meanie!

When I was a kid, one of my eyebrows grew in a little funny. I don't look that way now but at the time I was called Mr. Spock.

Kids are so cruel.

I'm beyond mortified.

My mom is dead meat.

I want to be mad at Ashley and I'm trying to be, but she looks so adorable in that evil mocking way of hers.

"That's not funny." I grit my teeth and work on looking as intimidating as possible.

"You're right." Ashley stops smiling and I'm relived. "It's very illogical of me to tease you."

Gah!

She tricked me.

Ashley is rolling around in her chair and I'm not going to take it anymore.

I get up to tower over her as I wag my finger in her face. "Don't you dare make one more snarky remark young lady."

"Ok, ok, I surrender." Ashley says as she holds her hands over her head. "Captain I need more power." She likes her fake Scottish accent so much that she can't breathe from all her laughing.

That's it!

Time to teach Ashley a lesson.

Spencer Carlin is no pushover!

I yank Ashley up by her arm and start dragging her towards the pool.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry." Ashley breathes out as she struggles to get out of my grasp.

"Not good enough." I shoot back as I wrap my arms around her from behind. "You had your chance."

"It's been less than an hour since I ate, I can't go swimming." Ashley pleads to no avail.

I want to exact my revenge.

My mom's will have to wait for another time.

What possessed her to share that with Ashley?

Ashley isn't going down without a fight.

But I'm too focused on my objective to care.

I almost have Ashley by the pool when she manages to get some leverage on me. We're going back and forth until finally she has me over by the lawn.

I pull her even tighter against my body as I use all my strength to move her.

Ashley is very strong.

Stronger than I thought.

I shall never give up!

My fingers brush against her abs…

Whoa!

I'm touching Ashley's naked stomach.

My nearly naked body is pressed against hers.

Uh oh.

Ashley uses my momentary lapse in concentration to gain the upper hand. She moves her foot behind mine and sends both of us sprawling to the ground.

Luckily we're on the grass now or that would have hurt.

Did I mention that Ashley somehow has me pinned under her body and has a firm grip on both my hands above my head?

Sorry about that, but my brain malfunctioned the second our nude stomachs touched.

Her body is over mine and her eyes are a very dark shade of brown.

Darker than normal.

What about me you ask?

Well I'm in fucking heaven.

Cloud nine even.

Holy moly!

I never knew my impromptu wrestling match would end up with Ashley on top of me.

Again.

But this time with a hell of a lot less clothes.

And it feels infinitely better than the other night.

"Are you ever going to try and throw me in the pool again?" Ashley asks as her voice goes even raspier than usual.

Hell yeah!

"Perhaps." I reply in that innocent yet not innocent manner I'm famous for.

"Wrong answer." Ashley says right before she moves off of me.

Boo!

Come back!

That was so much fun!

Wait!

Ashley's trying to get me into the pool now.

You rascal!

Her hands are all over me and it's difficult to stay focused because of how utterly fantastic that feels.

I teeter on the edge of the pool and I can see how confident Ms. Davies is.

Oh, Ash, don't count them chickens before they hatch.

With the last bit of strength I have, I grab Ashley's arm, whirl her around and send her flying into the pool while I remain standing in victory.

The resounding splash Ashley makes when she hits the water is the sweetest sound I have ever heard.

Ashley floats back above water and she doesn't look all that happy.

I stick my tongue out at her because I'm having a moment here.

Round one went to Ashley, round two was all mine.

Who's up for a tiebreaker?


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"Have a nice swim?" I ask in a rather cheeky tone once Ashley emerges from the pool.

The pool I threw her in!

The pool that made her dripping wet, again!

I'm fairly certain that I'm drooling but anyone who has a heartbeat would be doing the same thing in my shoes.

And might I add that perturbed Ashley is even hotter than regular Ashley.

Yeah baby, yeah!

She marches over to me so I grab the handles of the deck chair I moved to after I submerged Ashley in water and hold on tight. There's no way she's going to get back at me when I'm on high alert.

But my sneaky Ashley doesn't try and toss me in the water like I did to her. Instead she lies down and pretends that nothing happened. "That was a very refreshing dip thank you."

I stare the beads of water rolling down her skin in awe.

"Aren't you going to exact your revenge?" I inquire as her stomach moves up and down almost hypnotically.

Ashley flashes me a very sassy look. "And why would I want to get revenge on you?"

Now I'm starting to get really worried.

I'd rather Ashley just get me back and get it over with.

"Come on Ash, we both know you have something planned in that head of yours." I reply nervously.

Ashley closes her eyes as she gets more comfortable in her chair. "I haven't the faintest idea what you might be referring to." Liar, liar, pants on fire. "Relax, enjoy this beautiful day we're having, I know I am."

Gah!

She's doing that whole wait for the other shoe to drop thingy!

I furrow my brow while keeping a watchful eye on a certain brunette who is actually smirking at me with her eyes closed.

Fine, two can play at that game missy!

She may think she has the upper hand but she doesn't.

I lie back and pretend that I'm not on to the deviousness that is Ashley Davies.

Nice try Ash, but you have to wake up pretty early to fool…

My eyes fly open in a panic once I realize that I fell asleep when I was supposed to be outwitting Ashley.

She's done something to me, I can just feel it.

Oh god, what did she do?

I'm scared!

Somebody hold me!

And by somebody I mean Ashley of course.

"Enjoy your nap?" Ashley coyly asks.

I whip my head in her direction and she looks so cocky.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Thank you grade ten English for that snappy observation.

"I did." I reply as I watch Ashley put her iPod away.

How long was I out for?

Maybe she wrote on my face like that episode of Friends when Ross did that to Rachel.

No, she's not that cruel.

Right?

Right?

I'm freaking out!

Ashley sits up and she seems oblivious to my inner turmoil. "I was starting to think you'd never wake up." My heart is racing as I try to figure out what Ashley did without her clueing into the fact I'm on to her. "Actually, I got concerned that you would burn under the sun so I put more sunblock on you."

What?

Excuse me?

Back up for a second.

Ashley rubbed my body down with sunblock and I slept through the whole thing.

Curses!

Damn me and my fucking ability to sleep through anything!

How could I not wake up when Ashley caressed me?

"You did?" I question her suspiciously.

Ashley chews on her bottom lip like she's fighting the urge to laugh. "Yeah, you can thank me later."

Fuck this, I can't pretend I'm ok when I'm not.

I jump off my chair and start inspecting my body for any sign of what Ashley did to it.

I hear Ashley chuckling but I ignore her siren song.

Arms…clear.

Legs…clear.

Chest…clear.

I'll have to go inside to look at my face and back.

Stomach…

And that's when I see it.

Ha!

I knew I was right!

When Ashley was applying sunblock to my semi-hot body, she branded my stomach by making a pattern on it.

That sneaky bugger!

It's hard to tell what it is from this angle.

I tilt my head to get a better view of whatever it is that she did.

I inwardly gasp when I realize what the pattern is.

And it's not in a bad way.

She drew a heart on my stomach with a big 'A' in the middle of it.

And now it's tanned into my skin, not permanently which would be just fine with me.

Oh my!

Ashley marked me with a heart!

A heart with the first letter of her name inside!

That has to mean something.

Right?

"You like my artwork?" Ashley asks as I contemplate the hidden message she may or may not have sent me.

Do bees buzz?

Is the sky blue?

Is Ashley hot?

"You bitch." I exclaim. "I can't believe you branded me."

And with a heart!

It's really hard to pretend I'm mad when I'm so not.

"Maybe next time you'll think before you toss me carelessly in the water." Ashley shoots back before she stands up to inspect her handiwork. She uses her index finger to trace the design she created and I almost whimper at her touch.

"It was your own damn fault." I breathlessly reply.

Move your hand lower!

Just a bit!

Into my bikini bottoms!

Why isn't her ESP working now?

"This turned out a lot better then I thought it would." Ashley says as her finger continues to stroke my flesh.

I'm very close to jumping into the pool to cool off.

Ashley has set my insides on fire.

She should come with a warning label.

"You do realize I will find a way to pay you back for this." I warn.

By making sweet, sweet love to you.

Ashley pokes me in the stomach like I'm the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and I respond by giggling, just like he does. "Whatever you think of, I'll get you back. Just give up so we can end this cycle right now."

And then she pokes me again.

"Quit poking me." I squeal as my giggling intensifies.

Don't ever stop!

"I don't think so." Ashley chuckles.

"Start the party, I'm here."

Oh brother.

Literally.

Ashley removes her hand from my body, giving me even more reason to order Glen around all night.

Fucker!

Ok, ok, it's not really his fault that he chose this moment to come over. He and Jessie did stay away all day but still, I would rather they didn't show up, or even better they can take my parents out for dinner so me and Ms. Brander, can have the night to ourselves.

Before Jessie and Glen get a peek at my stomach, I get a tank top out of my bag and cover up. I bet Ashley regrets branding me now that she can't check me out to her heart's content.

That'll teach her a lesson she won't soon forget.

Besides I can't have my brother and my best friend asking me about "the mark" when I'm not sure what it means myself.

It probably means nothing except Ashley is very creative and artistic.

Or, it could mean that she's secretly in love with me.

What?

A girl can dream.

"Hey guys." I say to Glen and Jessie once they're beside Ashley and me.

Ashley greets them as well but she keeps looking over at me. She probably thinks I'm going to attack her at any moment.

Attack her with kisses?

Hell yeah!

"Did you two have a good day?" Jessie asks once we're all seated.

Ashley and I smile at one another and it's one of those secret smiles that two people exchange when they've shared something special.

I nod as I turn away from Ashley to address Jessie. "Yeah, we had a lot of fun."

"That's good." Jessie replies and when Ashley looks down for a second, she winks at me.

Aw, she's almost my favorite person right now.

Only second to Ashley because, well, honestly, I don't think I need to explain my reasons.

"What about you guys?" I inquire. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to stop making eyes at Ashley. And funny enough, she keeps glancing over in my direction as well.

Jessie throws her head back as she laughs. "You should have seen your brother, Spence, I think he spent more money than me."

Wow, that's saying a lot. Jessie is a true shop-o-holic, even I have trouble keeping up with her when we hit the mall together.

"A guy has to look good." Glen replies with a grin. "So," he drawls out, "what did you two crazy cats do all day?"

He's such a goof.

"Not much." I cryptically tell him. A lot has transpired between me and Ashley, I need to time to analyze those events before I can give him any details. Plus, Ashley is sitting two feet from me, I can't exactly talk about her to her face.

"Boring." Glen exclaims and I'm very close to giving him a nuggie.

"You wouldn't say that if you were here." Ashley says as she folds her arms across her chest. "In fact, I had a great time with your sister."

Burn!

I love when Ashley shows her claws.

Too bad she hasn't raked them down my back.

Yet!

"You're feisty." Glen snarls. "I like it."

Me too Glen, me too!

"Are you going to bug us all day, or did you actually come out here for a reason?" I ask my brother.

"Watch the attitude Spencey or I might have to toss you in that pool over there." Glen points in the direction of my afternoon fun with Ashley and I could care less.

He doesn't scare me.

Much.

"Been there, done that." Ashley boasts rather proudly.

Glen quirks his eyebrow at my fair lady, but it's Jessie that speaks first. "Really? Do tell, we want details."

I'm sitting close enough to Ashley to clamp my hand over her mouth. "Not going to happen, so let it go." I tell Jessie.

"As much fun as this is." Glen says rather sarcastically. "Dad's about to fire up the barbeque. He wants you and Ashley to get changed."

No!

I want Ashley to stay in her bikini forever.

This sucks!

Or, maybe I owe my dad a debt of gratitude because Ashley has to get naked in order to change her clothes. Ergo, I can watch.

Yeah, that's about as likely to happen as Glen getting a girlfriend.

Hey, I was all about forging a deep emotional connection to Ashley until we wrestled on the grass and then she used her fingers to graze my stomach.

I'm only human after all.

Ashley and I gather out things together and leave my brother and Jessie to go inside so we can make ourselves presentable for dinner. I'm just about to open the sliding door when my dad emerges from the kitchen.

Oh god!

He's got his chef hat on.

How embarrassing.

"Nice hat Mr. C." Ashley says when she sees him.

My dad is grinning like a fool. "Why thank you Ashley, my kids always make fun of me for wearing this old thing."

Because he looks like a big dork in it.

"Don't listen to them, I think it looks cute on you." Ashley replies making my dad blush.

Hands off father, she's mine.

I guess it could have been worse, he could have put his apron on.

"That's very sweet of you to say." My dad gushes as he pulls out the apron I didn't see him holding.

Of course he did!

It has "Kiss the Cook" printed on the front and my dad thinks it's so cool.

I try to pull Ashley inside but she isn't budging.

She chuckles softly once she reads what it says. "I'd love to Mr. C., but I think your wife would get jealous."

Ew!

Ashley, don't hit on my dad.

That's incredibly gross and disturbing.

My father's response to Ashley's comment, he giggles.

I yank Ashley by the arm before I can get any more weirded out than I already am.

I don't want Ashley flirting with anyone but me.

I know logically that she wasn't truly flirting with my father but still, I had to put a stop to it.

"Come on Casanova." I say as I lead Ashley upstairs.

Ashley is clearly amused by my antics but she keeps quiet.

Good, because I think I'd hurl if she said something even remotely close to a line about how good looking my father is.

Ew!

I'm grossing myself out now.

Ashley steps in front of me so I get a very nice view of her bikini clad body and all is right with the world again.

Amazing.

"Are you going to show me your childhood bedroom?" Ashley asks once we reach the top of the stairs.

When I left home my parents turned my old room into a guestroom and at first I was upset because I thought it would be rather nice to come home and see my room like it used to be. Now however, I'm thankful because I can avoid being embarrassed by my choice of style as a teenager.

Let's just say it involved a lot of pink and it would certainly have given Ashley even more ammunition to use against me.

I take Ashley to that room and explain why she isn't going to get a glimpse into "Spencer Carlin: The Teenage Years"

I head for the bathroom even though my libido is telling me to stay in the guestroom and perhaps get a strip grease from a certain somebody.

When I get inside and start removing my bikini I catch a glimpse of my stomach in the mirror. I still can't believe what Ashley did and I really want to ask my brunette beauty what possessed her to imprint a heart from her on my skin.

I trace the pattern she marked me with for a few seconds before I get dressed. I brush my still damp hair into a loose ponytail but I don't put any make up on. That would be putting in too much of an effort and I don't want Ashley to think I got all gussied up just for her.

I'm wearing a pair of jeans, long sleeve shirt that thankfully covers my Ashley tattoo and a pair of flip-flops. All things considered I think I look pretty good.

I exit the bathroom and wait outside the guestroom for Ashley to come out.

Actually, I'd like her to come out in a different way, but I can't worry about that now. I'm really trying to live in the moment with Ashley and not get myself all worked up into a frenzy.

"Took you long enough." I joke as the door opens.

"It takes time too look this good." Ashley jokes back as she twirls around for me.

Ah, I love it when she does things like this.

She's dressed in the same outfit I picked her up in and her hair is also up in a ponytail. I do miss her abs though, I miss them a lot. I might have to break into Ashley's house and cut all her shirts in half so she won't be able to hide her abs ever again.

I roll my eyes, "Let's go eat and you can fawn over yourself later."

And I'll join you.

Willingly.

Ashley sighs dramatically, "Ok, I suppose I can do that."

I open my bag and hand Ashley a thin hooded sweatshirt I brought with me. "It can get quite chilly once the sun goes down." I explain as I hand it to her. "Take this in case you need it later."

Ashley smiles and then she ties it around her waist. "You're always looking out for me Spence."

And I always will if you want me to.

I take her hand to lead her downstairs and she holds on tightly as I do.

Unfortunately for Glen and fortunately for me, Clay and Chelsea couldn't make it to the barbeque. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to see Clay but having only Glen and my father to serve us ladies made dinner even more enjoyable for me.

Glen grumbled that it wasn't fair but my father told him that life isn't fair and for him to get over it.

He's so wise.

The food my dad made was outstanding and getting to boss Glen around really was the icing on the cake. Not to mention I'm sitting beside Ashley, which of course always puts a smile on my face.

I even managed to make it through the entire meal without choking, spilling anything on myself or getting embarrassed.

Must be some kind of record.

Instead the meal was filled with good conversation and light bantering between everyone. The best part, Ashley fit in just as well if not better then she did the other night. I love that she gets along so well with the important people in my life, yes, even Glen and it makes me happy.

I feel happy.

I can't remember feeling this content and I know that Ashley is one of the main reasons for why I feel this way.

I finish the rest of my drink and then I hold my glass up in the air. "Oh Glen, be a dear and pour me some more Diet Coke." I snicker along with my mom, Jessie and Ashley.

"You're really pushing your luck Spencer." Glen fires back as he glares at me.

"Now, now, don't be a sore loser." I say with a big smile. "Just pour my drink!"

I nearly add "bitch" but I know that will earn me a few choice words from my mom.

Glen does, although he does it begrudgingly and for a split second I fear he might throw my drink at me but common sense and the warning from my mother stops that from happening.

Ashley slides her glass down the table so it lands right by my brother.

How impressive!

"I'd like a drink too." She gleefully tells him.

"Why aren't any of you asking dad to do stuff?" Glen whines. "Why are you only picking on me?"

"Because it's fun." Jessie teases. "Way more fun."

My dad leans forward and he's sporting a very serious expression on his face. "Ok Ashley, it's time you answered the question that's been on everybody's mind all night."

Huh?

Oh my god!

He better not be referring to me and if she likes me.

"Who's the better cook, me or my wife?" My dad finishes and I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

My mom sits up in her chair and a hush falls over the table.

Poor Ashley, I should probably help her out.

But I'm not going to because she did make fun of my nickname after all.

"Well." Ashley starts as she looks around at the expectant faces staring at her. "After much consideration, I'd have to say, it's a tie."

"Weenie." I whisper in Ashley's ear. "Total cop out."

"Shut up." Ashley whispers back and then she pinches my arm.

Ow!

That stung!

My dad sits back in his chair chuckling. "I guess that was to be expected, but that's ok, we all know the truth."

My mom hands over her dish to my dad. "Get cleaning Arthur and wipe that smirk off your face."

My dad doesn't get mad, he steals a quick kiss from my mom and then does as he's told.

"Get to work Glen." I order and the grunt my brother emits makes everyone, excluding him laugh. "We have to get the men to serve us more often, this is so much fun."

"Agreed." Jessie chimes in.

About fifteen minutes later my dad comes back outside and he's holding something in his hand.

Holy shit!

I never saw this coming.

He walks over to Ashley and shows her what he brought. "I hope you don't mind but I found my old guitar the other day."

If he asks Ashley to jam with him, I'm leaving.

"And by found he means he searched the attic for two hours." My mom butts in.

"Paula!" My dad exclaims. "Nobody needed to know that." He slaps my mom lightly on the arm before turning back to Ashley. "I was wondering if you could play some songs for us." He holds the guitar up in the air. "You can say no if you want." He quickly adds.

Is he serious?

I'm sure Ashley would rather…

"I'd be delighted." Ashley replies and I admit, she does sound sincere.

"Great." My dad beams as he hands his guitar over to her. "Glen, get out here!"

"In a minute." Glen yells from the kitchen.

Ashley spends the next couple of minutes tuning the guitar and I find myself getting excited to hear her play. Sure, I heard her sing the other night, but this is different and not to mention she's displaying her guitar fingers for me to gawk at.

"Any requests?" Ashley asks once the guitar is tuned to her liking. She kicks her flip-flops on the ground and brings one leg up to her chest.

Fuck, that's hot!

Ashley with a guitar is such an awesome visual.

And I know how good her voice is.

My dad has the best ideas!

Glen takes his seat and then my dad makes the first request. "How about some Neil Diamond?"

Jessie, Glen and I all roll our eyes.

"That's old people's music." Glen complains. "I'm sure Ashley would rather play something from this century."

"Actually, my dad was a big fan of his, I know a lot of his songs." Ashley announces and I think my father might have a crush on her now.

Join the club!

My dad smirks at Glen as Ashley plays the first chord.

She has all of our attention and she feeds off of it.

"Where it began, I can't begin to know it." Ashley starts and I can't help but smile. She's chosen one of my dad's favorite songs. "But then I know it's growing strong."

That's right Ash, just like our love.

"Was in the spring, and spring became the summer, who'd have believed you'd come along." She continues.

I know I'm only twenty-five, but I really had given up on meeting anyone like Ashley. I thought that the feelings I have for her would never be something I'd experience again. And they're so much stronger than what I felt for Melissa, which is incredible because I was with her for almost two years and I've only known Ashley for days.

Everyone starts clapping in time with the music, even me, despite how dorky I think we are.

Ashley seems to like that we're joining in and that makes me happy.

There's that word again.

"Hands." Ashley sings.

Yes Ashley, you have the sexiest hands in the world.

"Touching hands."

I love touching her hands, they're so soft.

"Reaching out." Ashley looks at me and I inwardly squeal. "Touching me."

Ok!

"Touching you." Ashley is smiling widely through her performance.

Please, touch me, please!

"Sweet Caroline." She belts out.

They should rename the song, Sweet Ashley.

"Bom, bom, bom." The five of us chime in.

Ashley chuckles and nods in approval. "Good times never seemed so good."

No, they haven't.

This is the best barbeque my parents have ever thrown, hands down.

"So good, so good, so good." We shout.

"I've been inclined, to believe they never would." Ashley sings a little softer.

We're gazing at each other and my heart is soaring.

I never believed someone like Ashley would come into my life.

I hope she's here to stay.

Forever.

Ashley finishes the song and when it's over we're all clapping like mad. I can't get over how talented she is, truly talented.

"What's next?" She asks as her nose crinkles up.

Aw, I still am a sucker for that nose crinkle.

"Pick me, pick me." Glen squeals as he waves his arm frantically in the air. "It's Raining Men."

"How about no." Jessie exclaims. "Ashley isn't playing that."

"Isn't that for Ashley to decide?" Glen counters.

"She's not playing anything from the Village People and that's final." Jessie fires back.

"Who died and made you boss?" Glen whines. "You're horrible."

I shake my head at their antics but when I catch sight of my parents I see them watching with wistful expressions on both their faces. I really do think they miss having us around even though my brothers and I would bicker all the time just like Jessie and Glen are right now.

"I have a better idea." I announce and that stops all the bickering. I lean over and whisper my song choice in Ashley's ear. When I pull back she looks unsure and confused so I whisper why I picked that song. When I pull back a second time, Ashley nods her head and I'm happy she knows my selection.

I watch my parents as Ashley begins to play and when I see the recognition in their eyes I smile at them.

I asked Ashley to play the song they shared their first dance to as a married couple. I remember growing up and catching them a few times dancing to this song and I always felt comforted by how in love with each other they are.

It's not to say they didn't fight, because they did but I never for one second feared that they'd divorce like so many of my friends' parents. I see how they look at each other now after nearly thirty years of marriage and that's what I want to see when I look into my wife's eyes when we're together that long.

"Wise men say, only fools rush in." Ashley sings and her voice is filled with a lot of emotion.

My parent's got engaged after only two months of being together, everyone told them that they were moving too fast. My mom always told me that when you've met "the one" you'll know it, so why wait.

Ashley strums perfectly on the guitar. "But I can't help falling in love with you."

My father stands up and holds his hand for my mom to take. My mom looks a little embarrassed but my dad won't take no for an answer. The two of them start dancing and they're gazing at each other like nobody else exists.

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?" Ashley sings on.

We're all watching my parents in awe and I'm sure we're all thinking the same thing, that we want a love like theirs for ourselves.

"If I can't help falling in love with you." Ashley looks over at me as she sings that line and my heart stops.

Suddenly everything else fades away and all I see is her.

"Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be." Ashley continues as our eyes stay locked on each other.

Are we meant to be?

I feel in my gut the answer is yes.

I hope she does too.

So much.

"Take my hand." I'd gladly take it. "Take my whole life too." That's what I want more than anything. "For I can't help falling in love with you."

I can't tear my eyes away from Ashley's throughout the rest of the song and she doesn't look away once.

When she finishes my heart feels like it's going to explode from joy. It's only when the applause starts that our gaze is broken, but I'm too blown away to join in this time.

I almost feel like crying that was so beautiful.

I only have one thought running through my mind as my parents thank Ashley for playing their song for them.

Is it me, or is Ashley trying to tell me something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song #1: Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond  
> Song #2: Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I do believe that Ashley has earned herself three new fans this evening.

Obviously my dad was already a fan. He is the one after all who wanted our company to represent Ashley.

I haven't thanked him yet for bringing such an amazing woman into my life.

I'll have to get on that immediately.

After Ashley agrees to be my one and only of course.

And there's no doubt that I'm Ashley's number one admirer, both for her music talent and general awesomeness.

But after she entertained my family and Jessie for almost two hours I think it's safe to say that all of us are huge supporters of Ashley's career.

Every time I thought she'd want to stop playing she'd ask for another song request and nobody looked bored by her singing in the least.

There's this quality to her voice that is mesmerizing. The way her whole demeanor changes when she's playing that guitar and belting out song after song is such a treat to watch. I wish I had a talent like hers but I don't so I'll have to settle for being president of the Ashley Davies fan club.

I'm sure we'll have scores of members by the time her first album is released.

We're at the door saying good-bye to my parent's. My dad is standing behind my mom and he's resting his hands on her shoulders. "Even though you didn't pick my cooking as the best in this household, you're welcome here anytime." He teases Ashley.

"Arthur, you really are pushing your luck." My mom warns but the warmth in her eyes lets all of us know she's only kidding around.

"She knows I'm being funny." My dad says with a big smile. "Don't you Ashley?"

"Of course I do Mr. C." Ashley replies as she adjusts the bag on her shoulder.

"Now, now, Ashley, us women have to stick together." My mom jokes.

"Ok, ok, we could go on like this all night." I interject. "Some of us would like to get to bed at a reasonable hour."

Not really, what I would like is some alone time with Ashley to figure out if I'm right about her trying to tell me something.

Jessie and Glen left together so I couldn't ask either one of them what they think. Actually, I only want to ask Jessie because Glen is rather biased. Whenever I attempt to bring Ashley up to him he drones on about how sexy Aiden looked in his basketball shorts when they were together the other night.

Ew!

I don't want details about D.B. and his apparent sex appeal.

Nasty!

I hug both of my parents to move the good-bye process along and I'm delighted when they embrace Ashley as well.

Aw, they love her already.

How could they not?

Ashley seems surprised by the gesture but she returns both their hugs and the wide grin on her face afterwards is positively heart warming. I think that her spending time with my family is something she's getting a lot out of, much like I was able to find comfort in opening up to her.

We're so perfect for each other!

The drive back to Ashley's house passes much too quickly for my liking and when I pull into her driveway my brain is trying frantically to come up with a reason to prolong our evening.

It can produce countless fantasies about me and Ashley naked together but when I really need it to come to my aide, it's useless.

"This is my stop." Ashley says as I put the Spencermobile in park.

I look over at my passenger, tilt my head and smile. "Looks like." We fall into a comfortable silence and Ashley seems quite content to stay in the car. "Did you have a good time today?"

Ashley nods and her eyes are sparkling. "The best." She replies enthusiastically. "What about you?"

"A really good time." My emotional journey included. "I think my dad has a crush on you."

Like father like daughter.

Ashley chuckles as she unbuckles her seatbelt. She's not leaving though, instead she angles her body towards me. "Don't worry Spence he's not really my type."

Because you're secretly in love with me.

Right?

Hot blondes are your type.

Right?

"I'm so relieved to hear that." I tease. "What's on your agenda tomorrow?"

I'm up for more branding, if you are.

"Not much." Ashley plays with the zipper on my sweatshirt that she's now wearing. She looks way better in it than I do. "I'll probably just write some songs or something."

Love songs?

To me.

Get a grip Spencer.

A grip on Ashley that is.

Wow, I thought my hormones were in check, but I was sorely mistaken.

"Jessie and Glen are coming over tomorrow night if you want to join us." Glen bought this new facial mask he's been dying to try out. "I can pick you up early and we can grab a bite to eat first."

There's no way I'm wasting my Aiden free days without seeing Ashley as much as I can.

"I don't want to intrude." Ashley replies on the shy side.

God, that makes me hot.

Where was I?

Oh right, making sure I get to spend time with Ashley.

"Don't be a dumbass." I joke as I swat her knee. If anything they'll be the ones intruding on us. "You're coming and that's final."

No pun intended.

Ok, ok, pun totally intended but I doubt I'll be getting it on with Ashley when we have company.

Ashley looks happy, "Ok, if you insist."

"I do." Aww, that's what I'm going to say on our wedding day.

I do like you wouldn't believe.

Ashley starts to take off my sweatshirt and I nearly chuck my own shirt off, but then I realize she's probably just returning my shirt versus stripping.

Too bad!

"Here you go." Ashley hands over my garment to me and our hands linger together just a little bit longer than necessary before she pulls back. "Thanks again for inviting me over today and tomorrow."

Please, the pleasure was all mine!

Ashley in a bikini!

Woo, that visual will be with me always.

And let's not forget the Ashley heart that I've been branded with.

"You have no idea how much I appreciate you being so kind to me." Ashley continues and I think we're having another moment but I could be wrong. "I'm so glad I met you."

Likewise.

And that's putting it mildly.

My heart is going crazy and I'm feeling tingly all over as I get lost in the warmth of her eyes.

I'm about to respond when I notice Ashley lean in towards me.

Holy fuck!

Is she going to kiss me?

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Ashley in a bikini!

Ashley in a bikini!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

I'm frozen even though my brain is screaming that I should latch onto her shirt and pull her into a fiery kiss that she won't soon forget.

But I'm so stunned by how much closer she is to me than she was a few seconds ago that all I can do is stare at her.

I can't believe this is happening!

Oh my god!

My breath catches in my throat when Ashley's is a few inches from my face and my eyes instinctively close.

This is it!

The moment I've been waiting for!

I'm going to Disney World!

Ashley presses her lips softly against my cheek and I don't know whether to scream for joy or cry.

No, no, move a little to the right.

She doesn't though and all too quickly Ashley's lips aren't on me anymore.

Boo!

Hiss!

I'm sad!

Her lips set my skin ablaze which is a good thing but I can't deny that I'm disappointed that the kiss from her wasn't more than that. I know I'm expecting a lot but a proper kiss would have just capped of what has been a better than average day.

It's not her fault really, friends kiss each other on the cheek all the time, it's me and my out of control mind that's to blame for my wild expectations.

I really need to get a hold of myself.

When I open my eyes, I make sure I'm smiling so Ashley doesn't know what I've been contemplating in my mind. She's not looking away and she smiles back at me.

"Have a good night Ash." I say.

"You too Spence." Ashley replies as she opens the door to get out. She walks around the passenger side and over to me. "Will you call me when you get home so I know you got there safely."

Swoon.

I'm swooning here.

She cares about me.

Whatever other feelings she might have, there's no denying that.

"I will." I assure her. "Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite."

Lame, but I'm hoping she'll think it's cute.

Or that I'm cute.

Same difference.

Ashley chuckles, "I'll try not to."

I watch her walk to her front door and her hips sashay in the most beautiful of ways. Ashley turns around before she goes inside just like I hoped she would. We're both smiling as we wave at each other and once she's not in sight anymore my head falls back and my eyes close.

It seems like forever ago since I picked her up and that's not a complaint.

This day turned out far better then I imagined.

Honestly, it ranks as one of my best days.

Each day with Ashley surpasses the next.

And the best part.

I have thirteen more…

_Achoo!_

Bless me.

Right, as I was saying, I have thirteen more days until…

_Achoo!_

_Achoo!_

_Achoo!_

Stupid allergies are ruining the recap of my Ashley time.

Wait, I don't have allergies.

I touch my cheek, the cheek that Ashley kissed and my skin is burning from her touch.

_Achoo!_

There's nothing to worry about, because I don't feel sick at all

I'll just go home, have a good night's sleep and I'll wake up tomorrow feeling great.

_Achoo!_

That's ok, even if I do have a few sniffles I'm sure it won't be too serious.

_Achoo!_

Oh shit.

* * *

My life sucks!

I'm having a woe is me moment like I've never had before.

You would be too if you were in my shoes.

It's Friday night and I have no plans.

No, you didn't hear wrong.

It's Friday night, as in six days after Ashley in a bikini! became a reality and she kissed me on the cheek.

Also known as the last day I saw Ashley and the last day I truly smiled.

I can't believe my fucking bad luck either.

I've now had more days apart from Ashley then with her since we first met.

Plus I lost five fucking days of no Aiden around, with number six not looking good either.

Now you know why I'm so down and depressed.

I'm in serious need of some comfort food.

I woke up Sunday feeling under the weather and even though I desperately wanted to see Ashley again, I cancelled our plans so I could recuperate quickly. Not to mention I don't think I could have lived with the guilt of getting Ashley sick.

We talked on the phone for a little bit but other then that I stayed in bed. I didn't talk to anyone else and the joy of the previous day's events couldn't erase how absolutely awful I felt.

I managed to get my sorry ass out of bed Monday to go to work but I felt even worse than I did the day before. My eyes were watering, my chest hurt and I couldn't stop sneezing. Thankfully Ashley's record label arranged for a car service to take her to and from the studio while Aiden is away so she didn't have to see me looking like the hell that I felt.

When I walked into work, Glen freaked out and immediately began disinfecting everything I touched. I was too weak to hit him for doing that and I nearly collapsed at my desk from sheer exhaustion. I was still in denial at this point that anything was really wrong with me

My dad took one look at me and then he ordered me to go home.

Yeah that was a real ego booster.

Thanks dad!

Oh, I should mention that I turn into a real bitch when I get sick and I'm still in high bitch mode even though I've recovered from my horrifically timed cold to end all colds.

Jessie drove me because I was lightheaded but I told her to go back to the office so she didn't catch anything. I immediately fell asleep and when I woke up I still felt like shit.

My mom found out from my dad that I was under the weather so she left work early to check in on me.

If I wasn't in such a pissy mood I'd comment on how sweet that was of her.

I couldn't stop coughing when she showed up and it came as no surprise that she dragged me home with her.

I tried to protest but the reality was I wanted her to take care of me.

I don't care how old you are, having your mom look after you when you're sick is very comforting.

At least it is for me.

My mom tucked me into bed after giving me some medicine and once again I was out like a light.

Apparently Ashley called to see how I was feeling but I never heard the phone ring. Probably because my mom took my phone with her when she left the room and I still haven't forgiven her for that.

Tuesday morning rolled around and I wasn't feeling any better.

My mom waited on me and brought me all my meals which was nice of her but I was so upset that I wasn't getting to see Ashley that I hardly said a word to her. She didn't seem to care though, and her sunny bedside disposition only made me sulk more.

Ugh.

My mom invited Ashley over for dinner that night and I nearly killed her. My eyes were red, so was my nose and I knew I looked just awful. I told my mom I didn't want to see anybody so I stayed in the guestroom while my dear Ashley had dinner with my family. I could hear everyone laughing throughout their meal and that made me into even more of a sour puss.

Ashley must have snuck past my mom because she knocked on the door and asked if I was awake. I didn't answer her and closed my eyes hoping she'd go away. She didn't but I refused to acknowledge her presence when I heard her beside me. I wanted to open my eyes so badly but I felt so sick and I really, really, didn't want to scare Ashley away with my gross illness.

Ashley pressed her hand against my forehead but I managed to keep quiet. She whispered "I hope you feel better" and then she was gone.

I found out later that Jessie drove her home and despite how irrational I knew I was being, I felt a deep pang of jealousy in my chest.

Wednesday I was on the road to recovery but I still wasn't up to any visitors. On the plus side I got my phone back and talked to Ashley on the phone for hours that night. She told me all about her recording sessions and I even got a few childhood stories out of her.

Not much, but I was more than satisfied.

The only bright spot in a dismal week.

I actually fell asleep with the phone in my ear and when I woke up the next morning I was in a pretty good mood.

But that didn't last long.

I invited Ashley over for that night because it had been so long since I had seen her and I missed her terribly. She told me she would love to but she couldn't because…

Because…

Oh god, I'm having a hard time saying it now.

Because she had plans with Jessie!

Can you fucking believe that!

I have this feeling in my gut that I've lost my shot with Ashley and that my supposed best friend is making a move on her.

Call me irrational, fine, whatever, but that's what my gut is telling me.

I tried to get a hold of Jessie to find out what the fuck she was doing with Ashley but she didn't pick up the phone when I called.

That's right.

She's been avoiding me since Thursday.

Fuck!

I left my parent's house this morning and I was all ready to go back to work to confront Ms. James but my dad wouldn't let me come in.

He told me to take the day off and return on Monday.

I've tried emailing Jessie, I tried calling her again but I got nothing.

I can't even reach Glen and I'm beginning to panic, big time.

I spoke with Ashley earlier today and before I even had a chance to ask her if she wanted to hang out tonight she told me she was busy.

Again.

And not with me.

I'm on the verge of tears.

This sucks so bad and I don't know what to do.

I'm all alone, with nothing but my bad thoughts to keep me company.

Could this day get any worse?

"Hello." I say as I answer my phone without looking at who it is. I'm going to order a pizza and have ice cream for dessert, that'll make me forget all about Ashley and her new love affair with Jessie.

"Hey Spence, you sound so much better."

Ashley!

Yay, she hasn't forgotten about me.

Aw, I needed to hear her voice right now, I really did.

"I finally feel like myself again." I reply as I break out into a big smile.

Now that you called that is.

"That's awesome, I'm so happy to hear that." Ashley says and giddy is a great word to describe how I'm feeling. "Are you busy?"

Score!

She's totally going to make plans with me.

"Not at all." I tell her as I make my way to closet so I can grab a pair of shoes.

"Great, I have a really big favor to ask you." Be your wife? Sure, I'd be delighted to. "Can you come by and pick up my demo tapes for me. I'm leaving soon and they need to be delivered to the studio by seven sharp."

What?

It doesn't sound like she's making plans with me at all.

It sounds more like she wants me to be her errand girl.

Fuck!

I'm going to cry, for real this time.

And I can't even say no because I told her I wasn't busy.

I can't believe she's asking me to run an errand for her while she goes out and has a good time tonight.

Without me!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

"Yeah sure, I'll be over in twenty minutes." I assure her in a monotone voice.

Life has no meaning for me anymore.

Fuck!

"Awesome, you're the best, thanks again." Ashley says in one breath and then she hangs up without even saying goodbye.

I cannot believe how drastically things have changed between me and Ashley. I went from thinking she was sending me secret love messages to being her gopher.

Even the branding she left on my stomach is starting to fade.

How fucking prophetic.

My heart is aching so much.

And I have to pretend that nothing is wrong when I see her to boot!

Fucking hell!

I cut countless people off on my way over Ashley's not because I'm in a rush to see her. I'm just in such a foul mood that I need to get my aggression out somehow.

I pull my car into Ashley's driveway and I know I'm pouting.

God, I'm miserable.

I don't even notice Jessie standing outside until I'm almost at the door.

What is she doing here?

Oh right, picking Ashley up for their date, that's what.

Why is she smiling at me?

How dare she!

"Hey." I mumble as I try to restrain myself from punching Jessie in the mouth.

"Hello doll, you're late." Jessie greets me in a fake New York accent. "I was starting to get worried about you."

Say what?

Huh?

Am I dreaming again?

"We don't have a second to waste." She says in that same accent.

I'm so confused.

"Have you lost your mind Jessie?" I snap.

I'm in no mood for any games.

"The names Shirley, not Jessie, but you can call me Shirls for short." Jessie replies and her smile has gotten wider.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I ask and my voice is dripping with disdain.

"I'm your official style guru for the night sweetie, follow me." Jessie or whoever she is grabs my arm and drags me inside Ashley's house.

Maybe my lack of seeing Ashley has driven me insane.

I can't think of any other explanation as to what is going on.

I'm pulled into Ashley's basement and I'm too bewildered to protest.

"Now, let's get to work." Jessie declares as she pushes me into a chair. "I must have you looking your best."

"If you don't tell me what the fuck is going on, I'm leaving." I yell out of sheer frustration.

This is so weird.

Jessie cups my face in her hand and for the first time since I've seen her, she breaks from whatever weird character she's playing. "Trust me Spence, you don't want to leave."

She sounds genuine and even though I'm still convinced she's after Ashley I shut up and let her do whatever she wants to me.

I've had a lot of strange things happen to me, but sitting in Ashley's basement, with Jessie or "Shirls", I should say, is by far the strangest experience of my life.

I'm completely clueless as to what is going on.

"Alright honey, it's time for me to work my magic." Jessie exclaims as she winks at me.

Ok.

I'm still lost.

Jessie brings out a bunch of hairbrushes, a curling iron and a ton of make up.

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me either.

She styles my hair and does my makeup while rambling on and I remain silent.

My brain is trying frantically to understand figure out what kind of game she's playing and a part of me is convinced that this is another weird dream of mine.

"God I'm good." Jessie says after she's had her way with me. She studies my face and when she's happy with her handiwork she yanks me out of my chair. "You look positively gorgeous, not that I had any doubt."

Oh god!

What if her and Ashley want to play some sort of weird sexual games with me?

What?

It could happen.

I know, I know, I'm being ridiculous but my mind is going a hundred different directions and I can't stop it.

"Now for the best part." Jessie leaves me for a second and I nearly make a run for it. "Here you go." She hands me over a garment bag and I'm not sure what she wants from me. "Open it."

Oh.

Ok.

Still not following.

I unzip the bag and pull out the blue dress inside.

Huh?

Why is she smiling at me like that?

I sigh and my head hurts. "Will you please tell me what is going on?"

Jessie shakes her head, "No, just put on the dress and if you go into the bathroom there's shoes waiting for you there as well."

I open my mouth to protest but I can tell from Jessie's demeanor that there's no point.

Whatever is going on, I'll just have to wait and see until Jessie decides to tell me.

I'm caught of guard when I see myself in the mirror for the first time. Jessie has put soft curls in my hair and the make up job she did is actually amazing.

Wow, I look good.

I'm about to be used as a sex toy to be played with, but at least I look good.

I take off my clothes and put on the dress that Jessie handed me. I take another look at myself in the mirror and I have to admit whoever picked out this dress really knows their stuff. It hugs my figure nicely and it brings out the blue in my eyes.

I slip on the shoes that were left for me and as I take another gander in the mirror I'm struck by how…

"Are you done in there sweetie?" Jessie calls out.

I walk out of the bathroom so she doesn't come in after me and my stomach is filled with butterflies.

I'm so anxious and not knowing what is about to happen is extremely unnerving.

"Just gorgeous." Jessie gushes as she zips my dress up for me. "Now, I'm going to blindfold you but don't worry I'll lead you upstairs myself."

I knew it!

I feel like I'm in  _Eyes Wide Shut_.

Bad movie by the way.

I'm too defeated to even question Jessie's motives anymore. After climbing the stairs, we stop and I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake trusting Jessie.

"This is where I get off, you have fun sugar plumb." Jessie whispers in my ear and then everything goes eerily quiet.

I try waking myself up but I don't have any luck.

Honestly, I'm a bit scared right now and just as I'm about to rip my blindfold off I feel someone touch my arm.

Help!

Help!

Help!

"Are you ready for your surprise?" Ashley whispers in my ear.

Oh thank-god, it's her and not some psycho.

Wait.

What surprise?

When was she surprising me?

I feel Ashley move behind me and I haven't the faintest clue as to what she might be referring to.

Ashley chuckles as her hands move to the blindfold still wrapped around my head. "Surprise Spence." She whispers as the blindfold is slowly pulled off my eyes.

I blink a few times as my eyes get adjusted to the light.

I don't see anything in front of me and my anxiety level reaches fevered proportions.

I'm staring at two French doors when something catches my attention and my eyes drift upwards.

Oh my god!

What the…

That doesn't make any sense.

I must be dreaming.

Above the doors is a banner that I've read a few times but I'm unable to fully comprehend what it means.

I read it again and I start to tremble.

**WELCOME KING HIGH TO YOUR SENIOR PROM**

What has Ashley done?


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Oh my…

I can't…

This is…

Of all the…

My eyes blink furiously as they stay fixated on that sign.

Am I really about to go to prom?

The prom I dreamed about going to when I was a teenager.

The prom I never got to experience.

The prom that is forever tied to a memory that I can't shake.

It's just too much for my mind to digest.

A rush of emotions hit at me at once and I can feel my eyes pool with unshed tears.

Ashley has done what no one else that I've met has been able to do.

She had rendered me speechless.

I have no words.

None.

I think I gasped when I read the banner but I'm not sure. I'm so overwhelmed and blown away that I'm having a really hard time forming any kind of coherent thoughts.

I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

I try a few times with no success.

My body won't stop shaking.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe her.

She's still standing behind me and she hasn't said a word either.

She's probably letting me soak it all in.

None of this seems real.

My heart is beating so fast.

So incredibly fast.

For Ashley and for what I think she's done.

Maybe I'm wrong.

I don't even know what to think really.

"You're awfully quiet over there." Ashley says, finally breaking the silence that's hung over us since she removed my blindfold.

I want to turn around, I do, but my body doesn't seem able to function.

I know I should say something, anything, but I'm still in such a daze.

"Are you ok?" Ashley asks after a few more minutes of silence from me.

Am I ok?

Am I ok?

God, ok doesn't even come close to describing what I am right now.

"Spence?" Ashley's voice filters through the haze of emotions I'm feeling.

And it's enough to make me snap back to reality.

I turn around and when my eyes connect with hers, with her eyes that look full of concern, my unshed tears begin to fall.

They fall quietly.

They fall steadily.

Because of Ashley.

I thought I realized how much I missed her this past week but I was wrong.

Those eyes.

Her eyes.

They reach deep down inside of me.

Into my heart.

Into my heart that seems to now beat only for her.

Into my heart that is threatening to burst out of my chest.

Whatever she's done, it's clear she's put this night together for me.

For me.

That alone is enough to make me a big puddle of goo in her hands.

I've never had anyone do anything remotely like this for me.

"Oh god." Ashley exclaims when my tears won't stop falling. "I'm so sorry."

Sorry?

What the hell is she talking about?

"I thought this was a good idea but I should have known it would upset you." Ashley continues as her eyes widen.

She's wrong.

So very, very wrong.

Ashley has apparently hit full panic mode and I really need to find my voice so I can assure her that I'm not the least bit upset.

Just the opposite really.

I'm surprised, nervous, excited, blown away, flabbergasted, touched, dazzled, happy, emotional, grateful, stunned, amazed and there's probably a lot more ways I could describe how I'm feeling.

But upset isn't even on my radar.

Where Melissa's actions caused my heart to shatter, Ashley's actions have made my heart feel so full.

So full it almost hurts.

So full it spills over much like my tears.

The girl standing in front of me is every one of my dreams come true.

Every night when I'd think about my past and then think about the type of person I wished I could meet, Ashley is exactly what my mind would come up with.

And so much more.

"I can't believe I didn't realize how upsetting this would be for you." Ashley rambles on. "I never meant…"

"Ashley." I manage to say even though it takes a lot of effort on my part to get that out.

But I can't have her beating herself up because I'm so overcome by what her planning means to me.

My mind is simply boggled by how much planning this actually must have taken on her part. While I was at my mother's house feeling completely sorry for myself.

I doubted her.

And I doubted Jessie.

I refuse to let myself get caught up in those thoughts.

Not now.

Not tonight.

Not when I'm standing in front of the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.

Her beauty stems not only from her outside appearance. She's in no uncertain terms the most beautiful, amazing and utterly incredible person on the inside as well.

"To make you cry." She finishes and her face is etched in pain.

I need to put a stop to this before I'm the one upsetting her.

"Ashley." I say more forcefully to get her attention.

"Yeah?" Ashley replies and she's biting her bottom lip so hard I'm almost afraid she'll start bleeding.

She takes a step closer to me and my breathing comes to a complete stop. I was so busy looking deep into her eyes that I didn't even notice what she's wearing. That says a lot because usually the first thing on my mind is taking in her appearance.

Ashley has on a long white dress that accentuates every curve on her body. It's not tight at all but just fits her so well in all the right places. The material is shiny and looks very smooth to the touch. Her hair is half up and the matching white headband she has on really caps of the perfection I see in her.

I know she's not perfect, nobody is, but right here, right now, she has no flaws.

Not one single flaw that I can see.

I grab hold of Ashley's right hand and hold it softly in my own. The connection I feel to her as I squeeze her hand goes beyond a physical attraction. It's like I can feel her heartbeat and it's not anything I've ever felt from anyone. "These are happy tears." I tell her in a whisper.

"Really?" Ashley inquires as her whole face changes from pained to relieved. "You're sure?" I nod as more tears fall. I can't stop them but I'm glad I was able to at least let Ashley know that she shouldn't feel bad. I give her hand another squeeze just in case she has any doubts. "That's good to know."

My eyes won't leave hers and I see something flicker in them that I've never seen before. "What is all of this?"

I'm pretty sure I know but I still have to ask.

I need to hear it from her.

I need her to confirm that I haven't jumped to any wild conclusions like I've been known to do.

Ashley smiles warmly as her eyes light up with excitement. She takes a step back but she doesn't let go of my hand. "I realize this is short notice." She starts as her smile grows even bigger. "And you probably already have a date."

A date?

She used that word, right?

No, Spencer, stay in the moment.

Please, I want to feel all of this, experience what I never thought I'd get a chance to experience.

Ashley looks around and I let out a small chuckle at how cute she's being right now.

"I mean, who in their right mind would wait this long to ask." Ashley's left hand comes out from behind her back. "Spencer, will you go to prom with me?" She produces a gorgeous blue corsage that she's been hiding this whole time after she asks me the best question I've heard in my life.

Spencer, will you go to prom with me?

Hearing that, from Ashley, makes my insides quiver and shake with joy.

Oh my god!

This is my far one of, if not the best moments I've ever experienced.

How can one person be so sweet?

If I had any hope of not falling completely head over heals in love with Ashley before, I don't stand a chance now.

It's unbelievable that Ashley has gone through all this just for me.

For me.

All of this is for me.

From Ashley.

I give Ashley my answer by nodding my head vigorously because she has rendered me speechless, yet again.

I'm going to my senior prom with Ashley Davies.

Even saying it in my head doesn't make it real.

Ashley gets the corsage out of the box and I hold my arm up.

My hand is trembling and Ashley steadies it with her own. She glances up at me as she slides the corsage onto my wrist and her eyes are tearing up a little.

I don't even want to question what all of this means.

I will eventually but I don't want anything to ruin what is going on.

"I'm glad you said yes." Ashley lightly jokes as our hands reconnect.

I wipe my eyes as I smile broadly at her. "I'm glad you asked."

Am I ever!

Ashley brushes the side of my face with the back of her free hand. "You look really beautiful Spence."

My stomach clenches but not in a bad way at all.

It's filled with nervous energy like I always pictured my prom night would be.

How is it possible that she can fulfill every dream of mine?

"So do you." I reply as I blush.

Ashley also blushes, which makes my heart flutter like you wouldn't believe. "You ready to go inside?"

I tilt my head and look down at the ground before looking back up at her. "Absolutely."

Ashley tugs on my hand as she intertwines our fingers together and when she reaches the French doors she glances back at me. She turns the knob and I nearly squeal from anticipation.

I have no clue what Ashley has planned for tonight.

And I can't wait to find out.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Ashley almost has the door open and I'm very curious to see what's inside.

The lights are off so whatever is in there remains a complete mystery to me.

Kind of like a certain brunette.

But hopefully not for much longer.

I'm going to my senior prom with Ashley.

Saying that in my head never gets old.

I want to jump and down and then give Ashley the biggest hug she's ever had. I'm beyond happy, I'm beyond giddy, I'm floating.

I'm floating so high that I feel like I might drift away.

Then, Ashley squeezes my hand, the hand she's holding gently but firmly and I know she'll keep me anchored to the ground.

God, what this girl does to me is absolutely incredible. Even if she suspects my feelings for her are more than friendship, I don't think she can possibly understand just how much and how intense she makes everything for me.

Like holding my hand for example.

I've held quite a few girls' hands and yet with Ashley it's like all those past experiences don't mean squat.

With her, everything is new again.

I try and calm my racing heart down and my wandering mind in the process. I don't want to miss one single second of this night because I'm off on a tangent of where the night might lead us.

It's not easy though.

Not easy at all.

It's difficult to determine if the intensity of my emotions is because I haven't seen Ashley in days, the prom she's giving me or how amazing it feels to have Ashley's hand in mine.

I suspect its combination of all three things.

"Here we go." Ashley announces right before she pushes the door open.

Squeeeeeeee!

I do believe I'm in for one hell of a night.

I'm so excited I might not be able to stop myself from whooping for joy.

Just as we're about to step inside the lights come on and I see my brother standing there with a big grin on his face.

In a tuxedo.

I don't know if I should be disappointed or not.

Glen does a funny bow and I'm too surprised at his presence to look over at Ashley. "Bonjour mademoiselles, my name is Jacques and I will be your garcon for the evening." My brother says in one of the worst French accents I've ever heard. "Don't you two look magnifique." He bunches his fingers together and then he kisses them before releasing that kiss into the air.

He's such a strange fellow.

I sneak a peek at Ashley to see what she thinks of his antics and I catch her rolling her eyes at Glen, but she doesn't say anything.

He claps his hands together twice in quick succession like he's calling for someone and that's when Jessie comes running into the room.

What is going on?

I can't help but smile though, whatever they're doing they seem to be having a lot of fun.

"Hi Shirls." I say as I wave at my friend.

I might as well get into the spirit of things.

Jessie, who's dressed in a short black skirt and tight white blouse doesn't return my wave. "My name is Olga, and I'm from Sweden." She tells me in a cheesy, corny Swedish accent.

What is with those two and their accents?

"This Shirls you speak of is not me." Jessie continues. "But from what I've heard, she's quite a knockout."

Glen elbows Jessie as he emits a French laugh. "Oui, Oui, and her best friend Glen is such a fox."

Ashley clears her throat quite forcefully and that gets Jessie and Glen's attention. They stand up straighter and then Jessie curtsies.

"As I was saying, my name is Olga, I am from Sweden and I will be your waitress this evening." Jessie declares right before she disappears from sight.

Uhm.

Ok then.

That was interesting.

Something tells me that Glen and Jessie's characters aren't Ashley's idea, but their own.

And that something is the scowl that Ashley's sporting.

Wow, that's very sexy.

Glen holds his arm out and motions towards the center of the room. "Follow me, s'il vous plait."

We do and I don't even take notice of the décor in the room.

All I see is Ashley.

All I feel is her beside me and her hand in mine.

Before I met Ashley my mind was active enough and then she entered my life. She's made it go completely haywire ever since.

Now though, it's stilled in a way I didn't think was possible.

I can't stop looking at her.

And I can't stop thinking about what she's done for me.

I'm sure that will change soon enough and my thoughts will be all over the place. In this moment however, they're focused on just enjoying this time with her.

"Here we are." Glen says. He holds out my chair for me and despite how much I know I'll miss the contact, I have to let go of Ashley's hand.

"Merci beaucoup." I tell him once I'm seated.

He does the same for Ashley and then he rushes off to parts unknown.

I gaze across the table and my eyes immediately find Ashley's gazing right back at me. They are so expressive that I have to wonder if she can see just as much emotion in mine.

As our eyes meet my nervous energy returns with a vengeance. My words seem to have faltered me once more and all I seem able to do is keep my eyes locked with Ashley's.

"So, what do you think?" Ashley asks as she points around the room.

At least she's giving me something to do besides gawk at her.

I give her a small smile and then I take in scenery she's so thoughtfully laid out for me.

Wow!

Actually wow doesn't even cover it.

There are strings of lights hung all around the room giving it just the perfect glow. There are black and silver balloons everywhere and streamers galore. But not in a tacky way, the decorations are just enough without being too much.

By the far wall there is something covered by a big black sheet and I'm guessing I'll have to wait for later to find out what that is.

"It's amazing." I exclaim in awe once I'm done taking a look around. "You're amazing." I add without caring how it sounds, because it's absolutely true.

Ashley smiles warmly at me, "I'm glad you like it."

Like it!

Talk about the understatement of the year.

I love it!

"How did you do all of this?" I ask.

"Now, now, I can't be giving up that information." Ashley coyly replies.

Actually, I don't even want to know.

"I hope you don't mind having dinner before the actual dance." Ashley says as she taps her finger against the silver tablecloth I just noticed. "I figured you hadn't eaten yet and that prom usually comes with a meal."

Time to spend with Ashley in such a beautiful setting.

Yeah, I don't mind in the least.

And afterwards there will be dancing.

I'm fairly sure my mind can't process the implications of that statement.

We'll be dancing.

Together.

This night just keeps getting better and better.

"It's more than ok." I assure her. "I can't believe I'm at my prom."

With Ashley.

It's still not feeling quite real.

Ashley doesn't get a chance to say anything because Glen walks over with a bottle of wine.

"May I pour you a glass madame?" Glen inquiries with his dreadful French accent still in place.

I shake my head as I cover my glass. I don't need any alcohol tonight, I'm already drunk on Ashley. Plus there's always the chance that I'll try to drink my nerves away and we all know how well that worked out for me.

"Are you sure?" Glen seems surprised by my answer. "I've had the chance to sample this bottle and I must tell you it is tres bien."

I bet he has.

I bet Jessie has too.

That would certainly explain a lot.

"I'm fine Glen." I reply and that earns me a dirty look. "Sorry, I'm fine Jacques."

Glen turns to Ashley, "Et tu madame?"

"I'm good." Ashley tells him and then she flashes him this look that says, 'don't fight me.'

Glen, aka Jacques, takes the hint, he scurries back to wherever he and Jessie are "working" from to, I assume, give her the good news that they don't have to share that bottle of wine.

"You know I'm very grateful to your brother and Jessie for all their help, but they are a little much to handle at times." Ashley says quietly.

Yeah, I wouldn't want them to overhear either.

I make sure my face is full of sympathy for poor Ashley. I can only imagine the shenanigans those two have been up to.

I love them both to death but I see where Ashley is coming from.

"I mean I had fun getting this all together but honestly, I really missed spending time with you." Ashley shyly confesses.

My heart, my poor heart, might not be handle anymore swoon worthy comments from her. I don't think it's ever beat this fast or fluttered so much in my twenty-five years on this earth.

"I missed you too." I tell her with a bit more confidence than I might have a few minutes ago. Hearing her say it first makes it so much easier for me. "A lot." I throw in for good measure.

Her expressive eyes are now sparkling and I'm curious to know if my admission had anything to do with that.

Glen reappears with two big glasses of water. "This is the finest water from France." He tells us as he puts one glass next to me and one next to Ashley. "Olga will be out soon with your salad, au revoir."

Ashley and I watch him leave and once he's gone we both burst out laughing.

"Well, he certainly does get into character." I remark in between laughs.

"That he does." Ashley concurs while giving me a nose crinkle.

I'm happy for the water though, my throat is parched and talking should be easier now. "How was your week?" I ask Ashley before I take a big sip.

Ashley's smile fades a bit and she lets out a heavy sigh. "It was alright, I guess, but we don't need to be talking about that right now."

That's not the answer I was looking for.

I want her to talk to me if something bad happened.

I want her to open up so she can let me in to what's on her mind.

I want her to trust me as much as I trust her.

I want to be someone she confides in.

If there's a problem I want to be by her side, working it out with her or giving her my support if that's what the situation calls for.

I want all of those things, in fact I need for that to be the case, I need Ashley to know she can count on me.

That I'm someone who can come through for her and not let her down.

When I told Ashley about finding Melissa and Becky she came through for me with flying colors.

And then some.

Giving me this night, my prom, goes way above and beyond the call of friendship.

There's no debating how that's a very good thing, but I need her to believe or see for herself that I'm just as willing and capable to be there for her.

As much as this night is for me, a friendship and the relationship I hope to have with her one day has to be about both of us.

Equally.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Tell me, I want to know please." I say firmly.

This is important.

For her.

For me.

And most of all for us.

Ashley opens her mouth and I'm sure it's to protest so I give her my own 'don't fight me' look. My stubbornness pays off and when Ashley sits back she seems ready to talk.

"I've just been fighting quite a bit with my record label." Ashley divulges somewhat reluctantly.

"Why?" I ask to keep the conversation flowing.

She shifts nervously in her chair but she doesn't try and change the subject. "Creative differences I guess would be the best way to describe it." She stars to play with her napkin and I silently encourage her to keep going. "All I want is to make music, my music but I feel like they own me ever since I signed on with them."

I take another sip of water and then lean forward. "That sounds rough."

Ashley furrows her brow and her eyes aren't as warm as they were a few minutes a go. "Don't get me wrong I'm very grateful for this chance, I know I'm lucky, but it's a little overwhelming for them to have some control. I don't even care about the fame or the money." That's good to know, I'd hate for that to be Ashley's goal in life. "I just want people to hear the music I create, the music I perform for them."

"I understand." I say sympathetically. "You want to sing what inspires you, what you feel a connection to, right?"

"Exactly." Ashley replies quickly and that makes me happy.

Not that she's having problem with her label, but that I get where she's coming from.

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I know all the ins and outs of the music business." I reach over and place my hand over Ashley's. "But if it makes you feel better you have at least one person in your corner that has your best interests in heart. Whatever I can do to make all of this easier, I'm here for you."

Ashley glances down at our hands before giving me one of the most intense looks we've shared to date. "You can't possibly know how much that means to me."

And just like that my heart is off to the races again.

"I mean it Ash." I manage to get out even though my body is buzzing from the intensity of Ashley's eyes. "You're not alone in this."

Not while I'm around.

"Thanks." Ashley responds and her voice cracks just a little bit.

"Here are your salads." Jessie in all her Swedish glory says after she walks over to the table.

We don't even get a chance to thank her before she's gone.

She certainly is making herself scarce.

Which is just great.

And yet another thing I owe her for.

"So mademoiselles is everything good?" My gay as gay can be brother asks as he makes another appearance by our side.

Ashley looks at me for confirmation and I give her a quick nod. "Everything is great Jacques."

Aw, she's playing along for him.

That's sweet.

"Awesome." Glen exclaims and then he clears his throat when he realizes he stepped out of character. "I mean that is good to hear, bon appetit!"

Ashley and I are both rolling our eyes at his antics but there's no denying he's a cutie.

I'm about to take a bite of my salad when I notice something behind Ashley that I didn't see before. It looks like a backdrop of a beach or an island at sunset.

"That's uhm so you know, we can get our picture taken tonight." Ashley explains when I ask her about it. "That's what happens at proms, I think, this is my first one." She rambles and I think this is the most unsure I've ever seen her. "I want you to have a reminder of this night."

Ashley's biting her lip again and I'm trying not to tackle her.

She's so bloody sweet that I might just go into sugar shock.

Oh well, that's a risk I'm most definitely willing to take!

Her thoughtfulness knows no limits.

I want to get my picture with Ashley, that's not even up for debate.

But there's one thing I know for sure as my eyes linger on Ashley's.

I don't need a picture to remember this night.

Don't need one at all.

Because this night, is one I have no doubt I'll remember for a long time to come.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Jessie arrives to clear our dinner plates and before she goes back to the staging area as Ashley called it, she turns to me. "Did you like your meal?" she asks in her Swedish accent that to be honest has lost some of its flair throughout the evening.

I blame the alcohol.

I can smell it on her breath and the fact that she's slurring a bit lets me know that her and Glen are definitely doing more then just sampling the wine.

"I liked it a lot," I reply with a smile. I turn my head to look at my dinner companion and then I coyly add, "My compliments to the chef."

That's right, not only did Ashley plan this whole magical night just for me, but she also cooked all the food herself.

That's reason four hundred and fifty six that leads me to believe she's utterly perfect.

She made my favorite meal too.

Spaghetti and meatballs.

For me.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around that concept.

All this, the entire night, for me.

I want to ask her why.

Why she went through all this trouble just for me.

I want to ask her, but I don't.

I don't because I'm not really sure I'm ready to know the answer either way.

If it's purely out of friendship, that will probably disappoint me, and if she answers something else, an answer that implies something deeper, I'm not sure how I'd handle that.

All through the meal, our eyes have stayed on each other pretty much the whole time. Our looks seem to be more lingering, our words hiding other messages and there's an undercurrent of something I can't name quite yet.

My body tingles every time she gives me a compliment, my pulse quickens with every new revelation on how much effort went in to throwing me a prom and my nerves intensify as each second passes.

It's like we're building towards something.

A moment, a touch, a kiss.

Something.

It's hanging in the air above our heads but neither one of us addresses it.

I still believe there's a chance I'm seeing things that aren't there, but that belief is faltering slightly as our night progresses.

Whether it's wishful thinking or not, it feels like a change is happening between Ashley and me.

A change I'm not sure either one of us is ready for.

I don't want to be misunderstood-I'm having a blast, an utterly good time that I never want to end. All nights must end I know, how it ends is what provides the little anxiety that I acknowledge I'm feeling.

I don't want to do anything clumsy, I don't want to mess things up by reading too much into Ashley's actions and I don't want the happiness that's rushing through me to stop.

Ashley reaches for her glass and then she takes a big sip before addressing me. "How are you enjoying your night so far?"

I beam with happiness,. "I'm having such a good time."

I really am.

I want to make time stand still so I can bask in this night for as long as possible.

"What about you?" I ask.

"How could I not have a good time with you?" Ashley replies.

She really knows how to make me warm and fuzzy like no one else.

Despite the nervous butterflies in my stomach, I don't feel the least bit uncomfortable or awkward.

"Is dessert next?" I inquire before a rush of heat travels up my body towards my face. I feel flustered around Ashley so often. My usual smooth talking doesn't seem to apply to her and I have to wonder if it's possible to seduce her with my new found bashfulness.

"Wow, Spence, I throw you a prom, I get you a new dress, I make you a meal, and that's not enough for you," Ashley smirks. "Talk about ungrateful."

My hands grip the napkin that Jessie left on the table. I pull at it as I try to keep my eyes on Ashley's. Her gaze is intense and I find myself getting caught in it despite my trepidation. I know she's kidding around, I know that my dessert comment was innocent, but I also know that I want Ashley in a way I haven't before.

I want to taste her lips not only because I'm extremely attracted to her.

It's like I need to feel them.

I ache to feel them.

I ache to feel Ashley's body pressed against mine.

I ache to make her mine.

Not in the physical sense, which yes, of course I want, but I want her to be mine.

For me and me alone.

Just like I'm ready to be hers.

I'm sitting here ready for the taking.

I want her to take me in every way possible.

I understand the logic of taking her first, but I'm not the one who's attached, I'm not the one who's straight so that's what makes it more difficult for me to initiate something between us.

At least, that's what I try to convince myself of.

"You know I was only kidding, right?" Ashley says as she leans over and strokes the back of my hand with her thumb.

Such a simple gesture makes my body react so strongly.

Her touch, her concern, the tone in her voice, everything, ignites me all over.

Whether Ashley realizes or not, she affects me with every move she makes.

God, I want her.

And it's getting harder and harder to hide my feelings.

"I know," I tell her quietly as her thumb continues to stroke my heated flesh. "I don't need anything else, this night already means so much to me."

Well, maybe one more thing.

But I have to force my mind to go elsewhere.

"Well, it's far from over, Spence, and I hope you enjoy yourself even more," Ashley responds just as quietly. "A little birdie told me that Baskin Robbin's mint chocolate chip ice cream is your favorite."

It is!

Wait.

What does she mean by that?

"So, after prom, I thought we could have dessert just by ourselves," Ashley continues in what almost sounds like a seductive manner. "Don't tell the help though, they might polish it before we get to."

Outwardly I chuckle along with Ashley.

Inwardly I gulp.

After prom?

Like an after party?

With just Ashley and me?

Uhm, sign me up!

I'm there!

With bells on!

My skin is prickling with each movement of Ashley's thumb against my hand.

"Sounds like it will be fun," I remark as my eyes flicker between our hands and Ashley's chocolate brown eyes.

Ashley pulls her hand back to her side and I almost stop her from doing so. "Hey, Spence, I…"

"So, who's ready for their close up?" Glen sings out as he stops in front of our table.

Gah!

He interrupted Ashley when she was about to say something important.

I think.

Glen has changed outfits by the way. He's dressed all in black and I have no clue why.

He squeals and claps his hands. "Don't you ladies look marvelous!" Glen emphasizes each syllable of marvelous and then he waves his hand in the air.

Wow, I didn't know it was possible for him to act gayer than he normally does.

Where'd his French accent go?

"Not as fabulous as me," he exclaims as he puts his hands on his hips. "I am so fine, it should be a crime."

I glance over at Ashley and the corners of her mouth are twitching. She coughs a few times and then speaks. "What's going on, Jacques?"

Glen's hands fly over his heart. "Oh my god, isn't Jacques like the hottest guy you've ever seen? Except for me of course."

I'm convinced Glen was dropped on his head as a child.

Repeatedly.

"That fine piece of eye candy had to leave sadly," Glen jokingly explains. "But I'm here, I'm queer and I'm fabulous."

Oh dear god, he must have polished off three bottles of wine at least.

"Enough about me though," Glen giggles. "My name is Eduardo and you are lucky to have my amazing photography skills at your disposal."

Yay!

Picture time!

With Ashley!

I'm going to frame our picture and put it on my desk at work to stare at everyday.

"So shake your booties and follow me," Glen announces as he points towards the backdrop I noticed earlier.

He prances away leaving Ashley and me in hysterics.

He may be unconventional but Glen is a great brother.

Ashley and I both stand up at the same time and like most of the night our eyes are focused on each other.

I start to walk towards Glen when I feel Ashley slip her hand into mine.

I know I shouldn't react but I do.

I look down at our joined hands and then up at Ashley. I question her with my eyes because words aren't an option right now.

I can't read her response though, I try, but I can't.

She looks away after a few seconds but our hands remain together.

"You guys are too cute for words," Glen gushes when we arrive at our destination.

Not going to get any arguments out of me.

He breaks our connection though as he sets up his shot.

Glen's lucky he's able to make me laugh with all the fussing he's doing because otherwise he'd be in some serious trouble.

I'm not really paying attention to what Glen's doing as many unanswered questions run repeatedly through my mind.

What does all of this mean?

Is it possible that Ashley wants more than just a friendship from me?

What about Aiden?

That question causes me the most worry so I block it out from my thoughts.

"Almost got it," Glen announces and that's when I notice the way we're standing.

I'm in front and Ashley's standing behind me.

She's not touching my body but I can feel her everywhere.

All over.

With every fiber of my being.

Glen rushes behind his camera to look through his lens. "Can you get just a bit closer?"

I'm about to ask him who he's talking to when I feel Ashley move right up against me.

Oh my god!

She feels so good.

So damn good.

"Closer," Glen instructs.

And she does.

Right flush against my back.

"Is this ok?" Ashley whispers in my ear.

Hell yeah!

Don't ever move!

"It's good," I whisper back without caring about how it sounds.

I'm only speaking the truth.

Her hands are resting on my hips and I'm in heaven.

Glen looks up at us and smiles. "Perfect. On the count of three, say cheese."

I'm barely breathing.

Only enough to sustain my life.

Just as Glen reaches three Ashley does something else I never expected her to.

She moves her hands around my stomach and pulls me into her.

"Cheese," she says as her voice drops a few octaves.

I don't say cheese but I do know I'm grinning like crazy.

Glen takes a few shots while I bask at how absolutely amazing it feels to be in Ashley's arms, to be held by her and most of all to be sharing this whole experience with a girl who's always on my mind.

Always.

Hasn't really left since I first laid eyes on her.

And I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Glen moves away from the camera. "All done, you'll be getting my bill in the mail."

And with that Eduardo the photographer is gone.

Ashley releases her hold on me and I audibly sigh.

Damn it!

There's being obvious and then there's being too obvious.

That was way too obvious.

"What were you going to say before?" I ask Ashley after I've turned around.

"Nothing important," Ashley replies, but somehow I don't quite believe her.

We walk back to our table in silence and this time Ashley doesn't take my hand.

I know I could take hers but I'm not sure that's the best idea right now.

That and I'm not sure how she'll react.

I don't think I could take it if she pulled away from me.

We arrive back at where our table used to be but it's gone.

That's odd.

I'm about to question Ashley when the lights dim and Celebration by Kool and the Gang begins to play.

"Yo, yo, yo, what's up, King High?" I hear Glen shout into a microphone.

I look over to where his voice is coming from and I see him and Jessie standing behind some equipment that was once covered by that black sheet I saw earlier.

I look back at Ashley and she's smiling.

I guess it's dancing time.

Glen is wearing a baseball cap backwards, an unbuttoned baseball jersey over his black clothes and gold chains around his neck. Jessie has on black pants and a tight halter-top.

What are they up to now?

Glen and Jessie start clapping in time to the music, which only fuels my curiosity.

"It's time to start the party," Glen says in what can only be described as his best tough guy voice. "Are you guys ready to party?"

Ashley and I just stand there staring at the show that's being put on for us.

Flashes of lights bounce around the room and I'm amazed-yet again-by how all out Ashley went on tonight.

Glen glares at the two of us. "Yo, King High seniors, I said, are you ready to party?"

I glance over at Ashley, and I know for sure we're having the same thought.

Time to get into the swing of things.

We applaud and shout "woo" even though it feels a little odd considering we're the only people in the room.

Glen bumps hips with Jessie as he shouts his approval into the microphone. "We have a fun night in store for you seniors but first let me get some introductions out of the way." They jump and down for a bit before he continues. "My name is DJ G to the izzle and I'll be spinning some dope tunes for you tonight."

Oh my god!

Tell me he did not just say that.

My brother is so not the type of person that can pull off that kind of talk.

But he is entertaining, evidenced by the laughs he receives from me and Ashley.

"And to my right," Glen throws an arm over to Jessie, "is my fly girl DJ Double J." Jessie twirls around much to her own delight. "And we are gonna tear down the roof on this motha. Holla!"

I'm so embarrassed for him.

"Can I get a what, what," Jessie shouts into her own microphone.

And her too.

Ashley and I cannot control our laughing, they make quite the team.

"Alright, alright, alright, alright." Glen fiddles with some knobs and I hope he doesn't screw up the equipment. "I'd like to dedicate this first song to my home girl Goldilocks over there." He points to me and I just shake my head in amusement.

Oh, Glen, that's so sweet of you.

"So, get your ass on the dance floor and show all of us your fine moves," Glen finishes as he presses some more buttons.

I'm not dancing alone.

I pull Ashley on the now cleared out dance floor.

I hope it's a fast song.

With a great beat.

All the better to grind with you my dear.

Grinding my body against Ashley's

Together.

Moving together.

Up and down.

Over and over again.

Oh man that would be so awesome!

And then I hear the song he's picked.

Uh huh, this is my shit. All the girls stomp your feet like this

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

A few times I've been around that track

I no longer have a brother.

He's dead to me.

I know I'm blushing furiously as the song I stripped and gave Ashley a lap dance to plays.

This sucks!

How can I dance when I'm cringing with embarrassment?

There's no way I can enjoy myself now.

No way!

Ashley steps in front of me and she's standing awfully close.

Her eyes are warm but they are also a few shades darker than normal.

"Spencer, may I have this dance?" she asks so formally I almost forget what song is playing.

I nod my head and our bodies start to move together.

Closely together.

I think my night just got a hell of a lot better.


End file.
